Armchair Imagineering: Five Disney Movies That Absolutely Should Have Been Tapped For Rides By Now, So Why Haven't They?

I think the title about says it all.

Okay, fine, I'll write a proper intro.

It can be instructive to examine which Disney films get tie-in rides (or other major attractions, as opposed to character meet-and-greets, parade units, etc.) and which ones don't. Quite some time ago, I grumped about how the Pixar movies get the gold star treatment in the parks, while the films of the Disney Renaissance that actually pulled the animation studio back to the prominence it has enjoyed for a solid generation are largely ignored. The so-called Golden and Silver Ages are well-represented, naturally, while the less-ambitious projects of the Sixties and Seventies are mostly sidelined. Lately, the high-profile live-action IPs Disney has bought are getting the lion's share of the attention from WDI.

The facts are what they are, but I'm sure we can all think of movies that we wish had been turned into rides, but which have been rather inexplicably skipped so far. Here are five of mine, in no particular order.

Okay, fine, in chronological order of release.

Mary Poppins (1964)

It's honestly a little shocking that we haven't gotten a ride out of this delightful, almost universally beloved movie. It's such an obvious choice that it's one of the most common inspirations for not only Armchair Imagineers, but people creating portfolios in order to be actual ones. Everyone has their own take on the basic concept of riding pastel carousel horses through a chalk countryside. Or riding umbrellas over Edwardian London. I haven't seen a version that involves riding kites through a park, but I assume one exists somewhere.

The plot of Mary Poppins is episodic enough to be ideal for remixing into a classic-style dark ride, where the emphasis is on unique and vivid locations rather than story beats and characters. Cherry Tree Lane (bursting with cherry blossoms, natch), the chalk-painting world, Uncle Albert's ceiling, the rooftop maze of chimneys, even less significant sets like Admiral Boom's roof or the bank, could all be used to great effect.

Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Here I guess they went “It's got a big show-stopping musical scene in an eating establishment and another one during a banquet, therefore restaurants is good enough for the proles!” Nah, man, I love The Grey Stuff as much as the next sugar junkie,* but the Beast's castle alone is stuffed to the gills with great dark ride atmosphere, in at least three or four different flavors. Also consider: the Beast himself rendered with current audio-animatronic technology.

Interestingly, I think a dark ride based on Beauty and the Beast could successfully use the Omnimover system that proves to be suboptimal with the Little Mermaid ride. Omnimovers work best when a ride's “story” is built around shifting atmospheres rather than events or characters, and the gradually brightening mood of the castle as the film's plot progresses could be a good candidate for such an experience.

The Lion King (1994)

You'd think a movie that curb-kicked all previous box-office records for animation and remains one of Disney's most beloved features, across demographics, to this day, would have gotten a ride by now. The Lion King is all over the parks' live entertainment, from parades to stage performances, but it has yet to receive the honor of a full-fledged ride.

Rather than a traditional dark ride, I would go with a thrill ride for this one—a roller coaster, or perhaps something enhanced with motion-sim like the Indiana Jones Adventure. The Lion King is relatively action-heavy for an animated Disney movie, and delightfully, the action is typically entwined with the location where the scene is set. A thrill ride that took guests through the tense scenes and alarming environments—the Elephant Graveyard, the canyon full of stampeding wildebeests, the hyenas' geothermally active lair, Pride Rock ablaze during the climactic battle—could be a major hit.

Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)

I include this one primarily because they almost did make it into a ride. There were plans to reskin Disneyland's Submarine Voyage, which had closed several years earlier, as an Atlantis ride. But then the movie didn't do so hot and they decided against it. Some time later, we got cartoon fish.

If you ask me, they should have gone ahead with the reskin anyway. The thing about the Submarine Voyage is that you are literally underwater, which makes it compelling enough no matter what is happening outside the portholes. The fear that people wouldn't recognize or care about the IP should not have been an obstacle; the ride would have made them care. If a ride can make people care about pirates they've never seen before, or ghosts they've never seen before, or a reckless driving amphibian they've probably never seen before, it can make them care about pulp-adventure explorers they could have seen before but presumably chose not to because they are heathens with no appreciation for animated storytelling qua animated storytelling.**

WALL-E (2008)

As stated before, I am no fan of the increasing “Pixarification” of the Disney parks, but that is largely because most Pixar movies do not slot well into traditional Disney theme park...well, themes. WALL-E is a big exception, taking place as it does in the literal future and addressing questions of what broad technological and cultural trends are doing to humanity and our world. It would have made for a great cornerstone to revitalize Tomorrowland (and/or FutureWorld) and provide it with thematic direction going forward. Just this one film could be the jumping-off point for attractions themed around robotics, space travel and sustainable societies, to name just a few.

I've seen people pooh-pooh the idea on the grounds that the film is too “bleak” or “preachy” for a theme park context, and I have to wonder if these people and I were watching the same movie.

If I had more time, I'm sure I could think of other movies that would make great rides but have been unfairly ignored. For now, let's cap it at five...although I'm interested to hear from others on this topic!

* Okay. Okay. In the actual movie, “the grey stuff” was supposed to be some kind of pâté, right? Not a dessert? I don't blame them for making it a dessert in the parks—I get that you can't sell pâté as a signature menu item in a theme park and expect to make any money—but I just want to make sure I'm not jumping to stupid conclusions here.

** I bet they never saw Road to El Dorado, either.