Armchair Imagineering: Villain Land

Back when I used to frequent various online Disney theme park forums, one recurring suggestion from the Armchair Imagineers present was some sort of “Villain Land” or “Villain Mountain”—a themed area devoted to the Disney Villains. As I recall, the idea was almost never developed beyond that basic concept—those proposing it didn’t really know what they wanted, but they sure had a mighty need for it.

Well.

I’m an Armchair Imagineer myself, not an armchair psychologist, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and suggest that what these young people—because they were always young people, teens and early twenties—actually wanted was for Disney to validate their fandom as young adults. They hadn’t grown out of their childhood love of Disney but had reached an age where they were starting to be embarrassed about it, so they gravitated to the “darker and edgier” aspects of the brand—the Haunted Mansion, The Nightmare Before Christmas…and the Villains.

I bet a lot of them shopped at Hot Topic.*

My point is that the vagueness of the “Villain Land” idea is probably because it wasn’t coming from a place of Armchair Imagineering inspiration, but a simple desire to have something at Disneyland that the young adults could enjoy unself-consciously. If it gets around at school that you went to Disneyland and rode “it’s a small world,” you’ll be a laughingstock…but if it gets around that you went to Disneyland and rode, uh, the Malefi-coaster, no one will even bat an eye, because Maleficent is badass and was played by the sexy Angelina Jolie that one time.

Personally, I don’t think a Villain Land would work all that well. It’s not that the idea of a place where the Villains reign supreme lacks appeal—it would basically be a dark mirror of Fantasyland—but the execution would have to be bold in order to find its audience, and Disney's handling of its crossover brands has historically been anything but bold. Crossover might not even be the right word for Villains, or its innocent counterpart Princess—when was the last time you saw any merch for either that had the characters from different films interacting, as opposed to just existing side-by-side?

I can guarantee you, the sort of people to be interested in a hypothetical Villain Land would want interaction. They would want worldbuilding.** They would want to be heavily reminded of Fantasmic! and/or Kingdom Hearts. And I don't trust Disney's willingness to take the necessary creative risks in providing these things.

But what if...?

What if, instead of a mere Armchair Imagineer, I were an actual Imagineer, getting paid for it, and in fact I were advanced enough to be put in charge of designing the Villain Land project? How would I make the most of the opportunity? 'Tis true, you cannot make of a sow's ear a silk purse, but surely some kind of functional container, presumably made of rawhide, is possible?

That apocalyptic shattering sound you just heard was my knuckles cracking as I get to work!

Armchair Imagineering: Holiday Fantasmic!

The Disneyland Resort sure loves to celebrate Christmas. Not only do thematically specific decorations go up in most areas of both parks, but a handful of attractions get made over into holiday-specific versions of themselves.* The most notable might be the shows and live entertainment offerings, nearly all of which, from the humble and homey Dapper Dans to the extravagant fireworks display, are in holiday mode at this time of year. Disneyland has hosted any number of Christmas parades over the years. Across the Esplanade, World of Color is on its second holiday version. But there’s one live show that has so far bucked the trend: Fantasmic!

It’s not hard to see why—Fantasmic! is possibly the most complex and intricate performance in theme park history. Not only does it involve multiple types of live performers and special effects, but it was designed from start to finish to be a satisfying whole. It tells a complete story with a three-act structure (something almost never done in theme park entertainment), and the musical score is as much a symphony as a medley. It's amazing that something like this was achieved once; doing it all over again with a more specific theme would be almost unfathomably difficult.

But what is Armchair Imagineering for, if not indulging in these wild Blue-Sky ideas? Come brainstorm with me...

(Well, okay, technically for now you're going to read while I brainstorm, but I welcome any and all contributions in the comments.)

Armchair Imagineering: Hooray For Halloween Parade

The first Mickey's Halloween Party of the year is this Friday. I got to go to that thing in 2013. It wasn't as mind-blowing as the advertising (and price tag) would have you believe, but it was fun enough. There honestly wasn't that much going on that there wouldn't be on any normal Disneyland evening, it's just that on this occasion, it was Halloween-themed. Speaking as a grown-up, the best part was getting to wander around Disneyland in a costume. (I was the “it's a small world” Clock Tower.) The “candy stations” were nothing to write home about and I don't usually go in for rave dancing.

And then there was the unique live entertainment, which I would describe as a mixed bag. The “Cadaver Dans”—i.e. The Dapper Dans with ghoulish makeup and a spooky song repertoire—were a lot of fun. The “Halloween Screams” fireworks show is fantastic, and I think it's practically criminal that they only show it at the party. The parade, though—”Mickey's Costume Party Cavalcade”—was rather disappointing. It just felt very thrown-together, with cheap floats, uninspired music and dancing, and an overall lack of imagination and effort.

Orlando's Magic Kingdom, by contrast, has a Halloween parade—Mickey's Boo-To-You Halloween Parade—that's pretty dang slick..but rather than simply wish to have theirs imported over here,* I thought I'd Armchair Imagineer a better one from scratch! Inspired by the wonderful A Christmas Fantasy Parade, I would make this parade an elaborate, tightly themed spectacle that really brings across the spirit of the holiday in all its facets (or at least all the facets that are family-friendly enough for Disneyland). Accordingly, rather than spamming the most marketable characters, I would choose characters and IPs that actually reflect aspects of Halloween...while still including plenty of crowd-pleasers so the average guest can still find a favorite!

Disneyland Dilettante readers, I give you...the Hooray For Halloween Parade!

Beyond Blue Sky: Wicked Kingdoms

One oft-repeated wish in the Disney theme park fandom is for some permanent attraction based on the Disney Villains brand. A Villains ride, or a Villains land (often envisioned as an offshoot of Fantasyland)...sometimes even an entire Villains park, with themed areas based around individual members of the brand.

On the whole, the conceit seems to be the result of Disney's own relentless trend toward character branding running smack into the young adult taste for the dark and edgy. Most Disney animation showcases pretty black-and-white morality, and if the good guys come across as unappealingly twee (as they often do, thanks to child-oriented marketing efforts), there's only one place left to go.

To be honest, I don't think a Villains-themed area, ride, or park would really work. Disney Villains is very much like Disney Princess—a marketing brand that involves characters from several different movies but keeps them rigorously separated instead of allowing true crossover interaction. With Disney's theme parks in thrall to its branded IPs, I can't see the Imagineers being allowed to do anything really satisfying with the concept. Something like Princess Fantasy Faire squeaks by because its target audience is fairly undiscriminating about these things. I doubt the fans wishing for a Villains attraction would be content with a collection of meet-and-greet spots.

On the other hand, there's all kinds of fun to be had with layering the Villains on top of what's already there. “The Villains take over” is the plot bunny for a hundred and two Disney fanfics (including part of my own Crowns of the Kingdom as well as my flight of fancy about the ultimate Disneyland-based video game), but few people (myself included) really explore the potential. Disney itself rarely goes farther than the odd Halloween event, wherein the takeover seems limited to a particular live entertainment location and is quickly defeated. I'm thinking it could be fun to examine the possibilities if the Villains really did take over Disneyland and parcel it out amongst themselves.

Actually, let's make that both parks, maybe even the entire Disneyland Resort. There are a lot of Villains, after all—even considering only those from the Disney Animated Canon—and one of their qualifying traits is that they don't play well with others. They need a lot of territory to avoid getting up in each other's business and fracturing the whole coalition.

For this bit of spitballing, I'll be deviating from my usual practice of examining the themed lands in map order: Main Street, Adventureland, etc. An awful lot here hinges on what goes on at the epicenter of Villain activity: Fantasyland.

As a final note before we dive in, Disney's last few movies have surprised audiences (or not, depending upon how shrewd they are as viewers...no comment on my end) with the identity of the real Villain. So SPOILER WARNINGS apply to the rest of this post!