A funny thing happened about five minutes after I submitted last week's post. I suddenly remembered that when Kingdom Hearts
was new—well, newer than it is today*—I actually had a silly idea
for a “Kingdom Hearts tour,” where you would visit attractions in
the same order as you visit the corresponding “worlds” in the
game.
And...why not? I'm distracted this week, it's been a while since I
offered up any Unauthorized Fun,
and we're just entering the time of year where you can actually
experience this ride plan to its fullest extent. So here it is: The
Disneyland Resort Kingdom Hearts Tour!
You
know what I haven't talked about in a good while? Video games.
I
like video games. I want to say I love them, but in all honesty? If I
truly loved them I'd probably play more of them. Keeping on top of
the medium takes a serious investment of time and money that I'm just
not willing to put in. It would too greatly hamper my ability to
pursue everything else I do...including this blog. I'm usually
vaguely aware of the latest developments in the industry, but the
most advanced console in my personal possession is...a PlayStation 2.
But
that's okay. You know what I can play on a PS2? Kingdom Hearts.
I've mentioned before that there are many similarities between
playing a video game, especially one with a “sandbox” structure,
and visiting a theme park. The games in the Kingdom Hearts series are
not very sandbox-y, but they are especially comparable to a
Disneyland visit, and not just because of the whole Disney
mega-crossover thing. Game progression in this series revolves around
traveling to a succession of “worlds,” like miniature planets,
each a unique setting with its own theme and quirks. In the first
game alone (the one I own and the only one I am especially familiar
with—see above), the playable worlds include a tropical
island, a gorilla-inhabited
jungle, an underwater
realm, a spooooooky
haunted realm, a pseudo-futuristic/steampunk/magepunk
palace, Wonderland,
Neverland, and the
100-Acre Wood.
Kingdom Hearts II adds a fairy
tale castle, a pirate
cove, a world of
classic cartoons, and a virtual
reality computer world, among others. I can't keep track of all
the prequels and interquels and whatnot cluttering up the franchise,
but the third proper installment is due to be released next
year, and...guys?
There's theme park in it.
One of the game's special features will have the hero summon ride
vehicles—actual ride vehicles, ranging in type from a Big
Thunder Mountain train to a pair of spinning Teacups—and ride in
them to gain advantages during battle sequences. As a charming bonus,
the vehicles show up outlined in little colored lights, à
la Electrical Parade floats:
Disney's most ambitious and unique concept has finally been included
in what is probably its most successful video game franchise. I'm
surprised the park fans aren't talking about it more.* But it's not
really fully integrated, is it? The “summons” in these
games are fun, but they're basically cameos. They're not part of the
story. The stuff that matters in these games is bound up in
the various worlds you travel to and the native characters you meet
there.
You can probably tell where I'm going with this. Just for fun, here's
some completely speculative fanwank on my part about how certain
Disneyland attractions might fit into the Kingdom Hearts series as
actual worlds. Naturally, there's more to consider than just “Is
this cool?” Ideally, a world for this game franchise should
combine:
A
striking setting
Potential
unique gameplay elements
Potential
thematic enemy types/bosses
Characters
who can be your allies
Even of the existing worlds, not all of them hit all four points, but
most of them hit at least three, and the exceptions are typically
uniquely positioned within the plot—for instance, in the first
game, “End of the World” contains no allies, but that's because
it's the last dang stage in the game, described as a
conglomeration of destroyed worlds—what friendly character could
reasonably be expected to show up there?
