Kidnap the Magic: NOS Holiday Wall Decoration

Don't you love New Orleans Square during the holidays? I do. It's totally gorgeous.

Oooooh!

Aaaaaaaahhhh!

Damn, I miss the Court of Angels.

These days, the lampposts receive arrays of décor like this:

Originally, though, they were decorated in a slightly more restrained fashion with the ornaments on and in a base of evergreen. That's how it was some years ago when I decided to try my own version of a New Orleans Square-style Christmas decoration, and that's what I'm going to instruct you in here. Since very few of us have 19th-Century vintage wrought-iron lampposts handy to hang things on, this can go on your wall or door, like a wreath. It's a very modular project, and no glue is involved so you can disassemble it after the holidays are over and perhaps try varying it up in years to come! You can find most of what you need at any big craft store such as Michael's or Jo-Ann's.

Armchair Imagineering: Krampus Bobsleds

Before we begin, I just want to note that I’m basically kidding with this one.

Basically.

Mostly.

Sort of.

But it would still be pretty awesome, in an offbeat sort of way, if they did something like this.

After Action Report: A Christmas Fantasy Parade

Do you remember what Christmas was like when you were little? About seven or so? When snow was only for playing in (and not shoveling), when you could not imagine ever getting tired of eating cookies, when new toys were intoxicating? Do you remember when you wrote actual letters to Santa Claus and then lay awake at night on Christmas Eve to see if you could catch him in the act?

Do you remember?

Someone obviously does...because someone distilled those memories, that feeling, and used the concentrate as the basis for “A Christmas Fantasy,” Disneyland's seasonal parade since 1994.

Kidnap the Magic: Small World Promenade Holiday Wreath

One of the most distinctive holiday decorating schemes at Disneyland can be found on the Small World Promenade. While Chester* rocks his Santa hat and colored lights, fourteen white wreaths themed to different countries and regions as depicted on the ride line the walkway, building anticipation via their familiar central insignia and “supporting casts” of witty ornaments.

I don't know who in Imagineering is responsible for this...but I like it! So much so that several years ago, I made a set of tree ornaments based on the wreaths, using snowflakes as the base (since I couldn't find white mini-wreaths at an economical price) and variously shaped sequins for the ornaments. But this is Kidnap the Magic, and I'm going to offer you a more ambitious project: An actual wreath decorated the same way as the ones in the park, scaled down just enough to fit comfortably in the average home.

Kidnap the Magic: Decorating for Christmas...Disneyland Style!

Thanksgiving* is only a few days away, if you can believe that. Once the dishes are cleared away, the Christmas season Officially Begins on a nationwide scale. Due to the increased prominence of online shopping (and a few high-profile tragedies engendered by the pressure-cooker atmosphere of certain “mega-sales”), Black Friday is starting to slide off its throne as the shopping day of the season...but a lot of people still like to take advantage of the day off to do their decorating.

And perhaps some of those people would like to decorate in the style of the Happiest Merriest Place on Earth. They could just drop a wad of dough on ornaments sold at the parks, but that wouldn't actually do the trick. Odd as it may seem, the fictional denizens of Disneyland do not decorate using real Disneyland merchandise. Our hypothetical people will need some pointers. Fortunately for those people, they live in a world that includes this blog.

This post is going to include general guidelines rather than step-by-step instructions. Disneyland's Christmas decorations are, as a rule, magnificent, and it's really inspiring to us crafty types to see how the various area themes intersect with holiday imagery and traditions. It would almost be missing the point to try recreating most of these uniquely designed items exactly, especially since they evolve over the years. So peruse, enjoy the photos, and get some awesome ideas for a Disneyland-flavored Christmas of your own!

The Second Sense: Area Music at Christmastime

I've snarked about Christmas Creep a couple of times on this blog, but I'll be honest: I enjoy the Christmas season. And the thing I like most about it is not getting presents or watching corny Christmas specials, but the atmosphere. The weather becomes delightfully chilly (not exactly cold, here in Southern California), sparkling decorations go up everywhere, and it seems like the only time of year when mainstream society accepts the idea of benevolent magic—philosophically, if not in fact.

And the music! I know I'm not alone in having familiar Christmas music wired directly to the nostalgia centers of my brain. Religious or secular, it doesn't matter (and this is coming from someone who hasn't identified as Christian for at least twenty years). The highly specific context in which this music is usually heard is what gives it its power to enthrall: Because it is Christmas music, when we hear it we are psychologically transported to that intersection of time (winter), space (shopping malls, Grandma's house, a gingerbread village) and attitude (peace on earth and goodwill toward all) that the holiday represents. They say smell is the most emotionally charged sense, but in my experience, hearing can do just fine under the right circumstances.

Disneyland is awesome with Christmas music.

The park is awesome with Christmas in general. As I've mentioned before, it's still a newbie at Halloween, but it's had a lock on Christmas since...well, since December of 1955. Christmas parades, Christmas carolers, Christmas character costumes, Christmas versions of standard attractions. And of course, Christmas music. Practically every part of the park has at least one music loop swapped out for a Christmas-themed one at the tail end of the year. This being a post in the category of The Second Sense, it will be my very great pleasure to take you on a tour of all of them, starting outside the gates of Disneyland proper.

Armchair Imagineering: Arts & Crafts Shop

 (I originally posted this piece on DeviantArt long before I thought about dedicating an entire blog to my Disneyland observations and insights. I thought this would be a good time to post it here, inasmuch as we're heading into the holiday season, a very crafty time of year.)

Disneyland is all about imagination. Imaginative people create. Therefore, what could be more natural than an arts & crafts shop right in the park? Indeed, various craft supply lines have been carried there in the past, only to be phased out in favor of more generic, perhaps more high-turnover merchandise. But the time is right to bring them back! “Craftiness” is on the rise, as attested by the success of websites such as Etsy and Pinterest, and searching “Disney” or “Disneyland” on any such site is bound to bring up thousands of examples of creative works by fans. Why not cater to them directly? Let the park inspire its guests, and let the guests indulge their inspirations right on the spot in a retail facility made for the purpose! Everyone wins!

Such a shop could be installed almost anywhere in the park—given the tendency to have the larger retail locations carry redundant lines of merchandise, it could very well take over space from the Emporium, Pioneer Mercantile, or Star Trader without reducing Disneyland's ability to carry the more conventional items. The Disney Showcase is another shop that seldom offers anything not available in other spots nearby, and its prime location at the corner where Town Square meets Main Street makes it a great, eye-catching place to promote the new concept. It offers space enough to display a wide variety of items and can support the do-it-yourself design kiosks mentioned further down.

What sorts of arts and crafts supplies would be included in this “wide variety of items?” Almost anything! One shelf could be devoted to sewing, with bolts of fabric, sewing patterns, thread, and notions. Another could offer scrapbooking papers and embellishments. A third could present plaster figurines and paints to decorate them. Window displays would show off examples of finished works. Each section would feature a decorative sculpture of an appropriately creative character—Rapunzel for paints and canvas, Geppetto for woodworking, Cinderella's mice for sewing. And of course, many of the products inside would be Disney-specific, featuring popular characters. Pre-packaged kits for everything from Princess doll clothes to model Cars would drive home the point and give overwhelmed newbie crafters a place to start.

The most exciting merchandise, however, would be craft supplies that evoke not just Disney animation and characters, but the very theme park the shop resides in. Disney films are mainstream—if you want a few yards of Sleeping Beauty fleece to make a blanket for a child's bed, you can get it at Jo-Ann's. But if you're agog at the sight of Sleeping Beauty Castle and want to render it in cross-stitch, the instructions to do so don't exist in the outside world (except, perhaps, if devised by one of the aforementioned Etsy crafters). At this shop, they would, along with numerous other ideas and supplies to create a piece of Disneyland at home.

If all this seems a bit too slanted toward adult guests, not to worry—there would be plenty here for children too. An “Imagination Station” consisting of two or three computer kiosks would allow kids (and adults) to choose from pre-existing graphical elements (e.g. Disney characters, background scenes, text) in order to compose a design which they could then have printed as a poster, tee-shirt, or other souvenir and pick up later in the day. Most magical of all would be daily lessons in creating a simple themed craft, hosted by a Cast Member...or even a face character! This event (like the similar character drawing lesson in California Adventure) would be free to participate in, but the smaller class size would necessitate advance sign-ups in order to prevent overcrowding. Between the scheduled lessons, the tables would be stocked with Disneyland-themed coloring pages and crayons, also free to use.

Hardcore fans of Disneyland tend to lament the homogenization of in-park merchandise and the over-reliance on film- and character-related items that can easily be found outside—the net effect of which seems to make Disneyland less special. Management prefers such things because their instant recognizability—even to first-time guests—makes them easy to move. By combining character imagery with unique lines of merchandise that play to popular, growing hobbies, a compromise that enhances both factors can be reached. Disneyland and its guests deserve an arts and crafts shop!

Sentimental Paleontology: Our Musical Heritage of the Past

So Halloween is over now. You know what that means. Cue the army of mall Santas.

I'm not quite ready to go full eggnog myself. I want to try to ease into the Christmas-themed posts here, so I'll start tangential: What was the first attraction at Disneyland to be made over into an alternate version for the Christmas season? I guess in part it depends on what you mean by “alternate version of the attraction.” Specially designed Christmas parades at Disneyland go all the way back to 1957...but I wouldn't consider “the parade” to be an attraction per se. There have been many different parades in Disneyland's history, of which the Christmas ones are just a few. Our current iteration, A Christmas Fantasy, is not Soundsational! or any other “regular” parade with tinsel added to the floats; it has its own completely separate floats. So it's not an alternate version of the attraction so much as an alternate attraction.

But neither did seasonal attraction overlays begin during the much-maligned Pressler era. “it's a small world” was actually the second participant in a Disneyland tradition that goes back over thirty years—more than half the park's existence. So what was the first?

Just a little show in the back corner of the park called...the Country Bear Jamboree.

Kidnap the Magic: How to Be a Theme Park for Halloween

This is a first for this blog: a Kidnap the Magic entry about something other than a themed party! I have numerous Disneyland-related craft project ideas, some of which I've actually done, but I haven't shared any yet because I haven't yet gotten in the habit of photo-documenting my works in progress. I did get a few good pics of this one, though, and the time is definitely right!

So a couple years ago, I was fortunate enough to attend Mickey's Halloween Party, the separately ticketed event that runs at Disneyland during the Halloween season. It's pretty much the only time when adults are allowed to enter the park in full-on, unambiguous costumes, and boy, did the guests ever take advantage of the fact. Practically everyone there was in some kind of Disney character costume. Many were obviously store-bought, but quite a few more were just as obviously homemade. Some people even went as Disneyland characters, such as the Haunted Mansion's Tightrope Walker AKA Alligator Gal, or recognizable individual buccaneers from Pirates of the Caribbean.

I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who showed up dressed as a ride, though.

I decided at the outset that I wanted to have a costume directly related to Disneyland, and not just to Disney's film library. When I hit on the idea of going as the “it's a small world” Clock Tower...I couldn't not do it. That's the sort of inspiration that strikes maybe once a year. Suddenly my head was full of ways to translate all those blocky shapes and clock gizmos into clothing on a human figure. I knew I had a winner.

I also knew I had my work cut out for me. The problem with choosing such an offbeat, niche-interest costume as the Clock Tower—or any other Disneyland icon that didn't originate in a movie—is that there are few to no pre-existing resources to help you out. From design to execution, you have to come up with it all yourself.

Wait...did I say “problem?” I meant invigorating challenge. There's a lot of satisfaction in creating your own unique costume and wearing it in a setting where it will be appreciated. If that sort of challenge sounds like your spinning cup of tea, read on while I walk you through the phases of my own such project.

Kidnap the Magic: A Haunted Mansion Halloween

I've really been looking forward to this one. Of the several Disneyland themed party ideas I've shared so far, this is the only one I've actually tried for myself, rather than merely speculating upon. So quell those doubts, readers—this stuff's been field-tested in advance by Yours Truly and my then-housemates!

Armchair Imagineering: Halloweenland

Disneyland has been in the Halloween business for less than a decade.

Oh, sure, there were bits and pieces. We've gotten a few jack-o-lanterns on Main Street for as long as I can remember. Seasonal character plush has a long history, Halloween included.* Haunted Mansion Holiday—which is treated like a Halloween overlay, even though it really isn't one—started in 2001.

But the first big, park-wide Halloween blowout wasn't until 2006.

It's kind of ironic, because other area theme parks have been doing Halloween events for a lot longer. Universal Studios' Halloween Horror Nights and Six Flags Magic Mountain's Fright Fest both date back to the early Nineties, and the first instance of Knott's Scary Farm was in 1973. So why was Disneyland so late to the Dead Man's Party?

Because of image, basically. Theme parks are entertainment venues. “Halloween” plus “entertainment” usually amounts to the horror genre. There are many ways of doing horror, but none of them are usually considered “family-friendly,” and since that's what Disney trades on, a typical theme park Halloween experience—strobe lights and haunted mazes and “scare-acters” leaping out at people and loud rave music—was right out. It was all part of the dichotomy that held sway throughout the Eighties and Nineties, in which Disneyland was considered “tame” and safe for families with young children, while all the other parks positioned themselves as the hip, edgy, teen-oriented alternative. Disneyland didn't need a big to-do for Halloween—in the theme park realm, it had a virtual monopoly on Christmas.

All this is so much rambling. The upshot is that Disneyland has not really been doing Halloween in a large-scale way for very long. And if you ask me (which hopefully you do, since you're reading my blog), the Powers That Be haven't really mastered it yet. Halloween Time still has a ways to go before it's really polished to Disney-caliber perfection. The seasonal decorations and themes are too sporadic throughout the park. I really think the place could benefit from a systematic, land-by-land makeover during this time. There are many dimensions to Halloween in the current era—a park as diverse as Disneyland could indulge them all.

So without further ado, here is my vision of Halloweenland!

After-Action Report: Space Mountain Ghost Galaxy

Can you believe it's October already? Bring on the Halloween-themed posts!

Space Mountain is probably the last ride you would expect to see dolled up for a holiday—any holiday. I mean...it's Space Mountain. There just aren't any major holidays where outer space is a big deal. Galaxy Day? All Comets' Eve? These are not actual things.

On the other hand, sometimes you get some interesting space motifs for Halloween. Aliens—abducting, probing, mutilating livestock, hunting us for sport, bleeding our planet dry*—are starting to take their place alongside more traditional horror monsters such as vampires and zombies and Swamp Things. Depending on whom you ask, they might be scarier than the old mainstays...after all, aliens might actually exist!

So maybe it's not too surprising that Space Mountain is the recipient of what is, in my eyes, the only proper Halloween overlay for a Disneyland attraction so far.

Source Materials: Heraldry in Fantasyland (Part 2)

Welcome back! Last week, I corrected a trifecta of misconceptions about the heraldic design located just above the arch of Sleeping Beauty Castle, and went on to explore some of the other instances of medieval heraldry used for thematic and decorative purposes in Fantasyland. This week...the latter continues!

Source Materials: Heraldry in Fantasyland (Part 1)

It's inevitable: Take an interest in Disneyland trivia, and sooner or later (probably sooner), you're bound to come across this little tidbit:

Walt Disney's family crest is on the front of Sleeping Beauty Castle.

This factoid is impressive for its sheer density of misinformation—no fewer than three errors or partial errors in only twelve words! The falsehoods are corrected as follows:

1. The design in question is not a crest (though it includes one).

2. Designs of this type do not represent families per se, at least traditionally.
3. This particular design is probably not directly associated with Walt Disney's specific family at all.

Thus we enter the often murky but always fascinating world of European heraldry!

This is Halloween – The Case Against Haunted Mansion Holiday

Let's digress from Disneyland for a bit to talk about Christmas Creep. Even if you haven't encountered the term before, you're bound to be familiar with the phenomenon: the tendency for retailers to start stocking and advertising their Christmas items earlier and earlier in the year. Is it a new phenomenon, per se? Hard to say. The Peanuts had a gag about a Christmas sale in April as far back as 1974, but when I was a kid in the Eighties, people still rolled their eyes over the fact that tree displays went up the instant Thanksgiving was over.* Now, of course, we're shocked if any store waits that long. The standard is to flip straight from Halloween to Christmas, with poor Thanksgiving relegated to an end cap display.

This is understandable, of course. Both Halloween and Christmas are much bigger moneymaking opportunities than Thanksgiving. For Halloween, people like to buy costumes, elaborate decorations, and loads of candy. For Christmas, they buy elaborate decorations,** candy, occasional costumes, and gifts gifts gifts. Unless you're a supermarket or an airline, Thanksgiving just isn't that much of a boost for you...and if you are a supermarket or an airline, Christmas might still be bigger. On the consumer side of things, Thanksgiving isn't capital-F Fun the way Halloween and Christmas are, so most people are content to let it be eclipsed by its feuding calendrical neighbors.

Halloween itself wasn't always so prominent, of course. I think my generation was the one to decisively say “Screw you, adulthood, we'll keep dressing up if we want,” turning what had previously been thought of mainly as a children's romp day into an all-ages cultural phenomenon...and honestly? In light of Christmas Creep, it's a good thing we did. The prominence of Halloween gives us a stick with which to draw our line in the sand: “No, Wal-Mart, we are not shopping for Christmas yet; we are still celebrating Halloween.” And since it's become so easy to capitalize on Halloween itself, the retailers of America aren't too inclined to fight us on the matter. Don't be fooled by the appearance of fake pine garlands on the shelves in mid-October—those are just there so the transition can be made as quickly as possible once November 1 hits.

Now we can get back to Disneyland, which turns the whole thing upside-down by installing the Haunted Mansion Holiday overlay in September.

Kidnap the Magic: Talk Like a Pirate of the Caribbean Day

September is here at last, bringing with it (hopefully) cooler weather, quieter households...and on the 19^th of the month, the most beloved holiday that never got its own section in a Hallmark store: International Talk Like a Pirate Day! It's not hard to see why this “holiday” took off the way it did—it asks so little of you. You don't have to buy anyone a gift or a card, or spend hours decorating your house, or sit through a long church service. All you have to do is alter your speech patterns in accordance with a well-known pop-cultural archetype.

But why stop there? Talking Like a (Hollywood) Pirate is fun and all, but maybe a little too easy. The name hasn't changed, but for many people, Talk Like a Pirate Day is also Dress Like a Pirate Day, Fly the Jolly Roger Like a Pirate Day, and Watch Pirate Movies* Day.

Even...perhaps...Throw a Pirate-Themed Party Day! And when it comes to pirate theming, nobody has more vivid mental images than devotees of Disney parks. This is probably because the original version of Pirates of the Caribbean, the ride, installed at Disneyland in 1967, is the best theme park attraction ever built. As an iconic fantasy depiction of piracy in the Age of Sail, it's second only to Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island. As a first-person experience, it's simply incomparable. It's got its own specific imagery, its own instantly recognizable soundtrack, its own unique smell. If you want your Talk Like a Pirate Day party to take its cues from the ride—and if you consider yourself a Disneyland fan, then you do, no two ways about it—then you have plenty of material to work with that will make your guests go “Hey...this is that ride!”

What you don't have a lot of is convenient shortcuts. Make no mistake—“Pirate” is one of the big themes in your average party store, and you can even find Pirates of the Caribbean branded items...but naturally it's all to do with the film franchise. Use it anyway if you like; these days Jack Sparrow is on the ride, after all. But if you really want to evoke the ride itself, Party City and its brethren will be of very little help. And nor will much of anything else in the retail arena. It's just that unique.

So what can you do?

You can do what brought us the marvels of Pirates of the Caribbean to begin with. You can Imagineer.

This isn't going to be like my other Disneyland party ideas, where I take you through all the major facets of party planning including ideas for food, games, and music. The food should be sumptuous, the games should revolve around treasure maps, and if you follow this blog but can't think of any music that reminds you of Pirates of the Caribbean, then there's simply no help for you. Rather, this post is going to highlight some specific things you can do to create a Pirates of the Caribbean-style atmosphere...be it for a party or any other reason!

The Second Sense: Adventureland Music Loops

It would be nice—I guess—to close out Adventureland August with a bang, but the Disneyland Dilettante isn't just about the E-tickets and momentous events. The smaller stuff definitely has its place here too...maybe even a more cherished place, considering how often it's overlooked by not only the general park-going public but even the aficionados. There are entire websites dedicated to extolling the virtues of the Haunted Mansion or catering to the exalted fraternity of Jungle Cruise skippers, but when was the last time you saw even the smallest blog post praising the Silhouette Studio?

This blog post is not about the Silhouette Studio. It's about a feature of Disneyland that actually does have a following (though it's still definitely a niche interest by normal standards): background music.* This is one of those under-appreciated but absolutely essential parts of the Disneyland experience, like the standards of cleanliness. Most guests don't really notice that it's there. They might not overtly notice if it were gone...but they would certainly feel the detriment on some level. What would Main Street be without its light orchestra instrumentals? The New Orleans Square riverfront without its lively Dixieland jazz? Frontierland without its Western folk tunes or Fantasyland without its (gasp) actual Disney songs?

And where would Adventureland be without its...uh...hang on...huh.

Adventureland does not have an overall area music loop. I can think of potential reasons for this oddity. Perhaps there aren't enough good places along the walkway to install speakers for such ambiance. Perhaps the diversity of the locations represented is such that no single loop could adequately serve. Perhaps it was decided that any ambient music would detract from the impression of a remote area where survival is Priority Number One and performing arts are an unaffordable luxury.

Or maybe, given how narrow the walkable space is, an overall loop would clash with the queue loops for the individual attractions. Because Adventureland does have a plethora of background music tailored to its specific offerings. This, of course, is one way to get around the second issue mentioned above. So let's take a tour!

After-Action Report: Indiana Jones Adventure

FIRST, AN ASIDE:
I try not to dwell on news items here at the Disneyland Dilettante, but seeing as it's Adventureland month and all, I couldn't ignore the announcement that Disney is finally going ahead with a movie based on the Jungle Cruise, an idea the studio has been toying with for the past decade. So far the only details released are a) it will be a period piece and b) it will star Dwayne Johnson. The second bit amuses me because of his role in the upcoming animated film Moana—are they just making him their Adventureland mascot or what? I'll have to hold off on forming specific opinions until I know more about the project, but for now I am cautiously optimistic. Even before I knew they were thinking about doing it, I thought the Jungle Cruise would be a decent enough candidate for a ride-turned-movie. It has the same big strength as Pirates of the Caribbean: a strongly defined mood and setting without much in the way of an established plot to shackle the writers...which I believe is where the 2003 Haunted Mansion movie went wrong. (Well, that and letting Eddie Murphy stomp all over it.)
END OF ASIDE. ON WITH THE MAIN POST.

This is where I reveal that I am an enormous hypocrite.

I have multiple posts on this blog where I denounce Star Tours—and the whole phenomenon of Star Wars in Disneyland—for various reasons. Chief among them is that it began as, basically, an intruder—an outside property that wasn't quite a thematic fit with the area where it was placed, but which subsequently took over said area to an extent, imposing its aesthetic on the non-IP-based attractions that had been there all along. Another is that it's too focused on recapping famous scenes from its source material to add much to its canon.

Um.

In the interest of basic human decency, I have to admit that the Indiana Jones Adventure is guilty of these same sins...yet for some reason, I have no objections. I love this ride. Its existence feels as natural to me as the existence of Star Tours feels forced. I can accept this as another wacky installment in the serialized adventures of everyone's favorite fedora-wearing archaeologist, even if it bears suspicious resemblances to many of his other adventures.

Part of it, of course, is that I just plain like the Indiana Jones franchise better than I like Star Wars.* Just knowing that it's there in the Happiest Place Where Dreams Come True on Earth doesn't automatically make me roll my eyes. And maybe that's hypocritical in itself—I tend to look down my nose at people who get all excited about the prospect of Marvel superheroes and MOAR STAR WARS in Disneyland because they love the movies. I don't think that stuff is a natural fit for the park, so I disdain the fan loyalty that causes people to like the idea. But is Indiana Jones really any more appropriate for Adventureland than Lucas's other, bigger baby or Stan Lee's portfolio is for Tomorrowland?

Actually...I would argue that it is.

Beyond Blue Sky: What Kind of Castaway Are You?

Last week, I shared an Armchair Imagineering proposal for turning Adventureland's Treehouse, once the home of the Swiss Family Robinson and now of Tarzan, into a generalized Castaway's Treehouse where the guests themselves are the implicit inhabitants. One of the interactive features I suggested including was a “What Kind of Castaway Are You?” personality quiz, along with related merchandise.

This week, to keep Adventureland August going, I decided...what the heck, I'll write the quiz! Enjoy!

Armchair Imagineering: Castaway's Treehouse

This one will be relatively short. The weather here in SoCal has been relentlessly hot and humid, which tends to sap my energy when it comes to things like composing blog posts. You might say it still feels like the tropics out there, so...should I just go ahead and make August Adventureland month? I can certainly try...although I don't know if I have three more Sundays' worth of related material that I haven't already posted.

Well, either way, I'm still in an Adventureland mood this week, so here's an Armchair Imagineering post with an idea for revitalizing that long-standing but little-appreciated fixture of Disneyland's wild jungle: the Treehouse.

Kidnap the Magic: Jungle Cruise Cookout

Can you believe it's August already? Where is the year going? Before you know it, it will be Labor Day, and then the kids will go back to school, and then you'll start seeing Halloween stuff everywhere, and The Holidays Will Be Upon Us.

But in the meantime, there's still plenty of summer left—plenty of hot weather and late sunsets and not a lot of other commitments involving school or calendar holidays. Perfect conditions, in other words, for a barbecue! You know where else the weather is hot, the demands of civilization have little to no hold on you, and people cook over open fires? The untamed jungle. So for this installment of Kidnap the Magic, I'll give suggestions for turning your cookout party into a Jungle Cruise-themed extravaganza!

Sentimental Paleontology: These Were Snowflakes

Once upon a time, Monsanto was the good guy. Hard as it may be to believe in an age where they are perhaps best known for inventing scary Frankenfood crops and then suing small family farms out of existence for the crime of happening to be located downwind of them, there was a time when they were mostly associated with neat stuff. Astroturf, for instance. “Space Age” fabrics. And, most dramatically of all, Disneyland attractions. Monsanto sponsored no fewer than four Tomorrowland attractions at various points during the park's first fifteen years.

Most fans have heard of the House of the Future, that marvelous 100% synthetic dwelling (located where Pixie Hollow is today) that had to be dismantled with blowtorches because the wrecking ball bounced right off it. Fewer have heard of Fashions and Fabrics Through the Ages, a much less ambitious exhibit that didn't last long. It was located right next to the Hall of Chemistry, which was actually the first Monsanto attraction, going right back to Opening Day. The two neighbors closed in September 1966—the chemical engineering giant had bigger and better plans for the building they occupied. On August 5, 1967, there debuted something special. Something amazing. An actual ride, this time, instead of the mere walk-throughs the company had sponsored before.

It was once my favorite ride. It was also the first ride I lost.

After-Action Report: “it's a small world” (Part 2)

“it's a small world” debuted to the world it celebrated at the New York World's Fair in 1964 and moved to Disneyland two years later. For most of its history, changes were minimal—a new color scheme here, a remastered soundtrack there, a different sponsor*—but starting in the Paul Pressler era, management decided it was okay to mess with it to a more significant extent. So how'd all that work out? Well...

After-Action Report: “it's a small world” (Part 1)

What would you say is the most overrated ride at Disneyland? That is, which one has the biggest gap between overall public acclaim and actual quality, with the quality on the low end of the equation?

I had to do some hard thinking to come up with my answer, but I think it's the Mad Tea Party.* It's an iconic ride, but iconic is not the same as impressive and if anything, it's a testament to the power of theming. Without its Wonderland morphsuit, it's just that old carnival standby, the Tilt-a-Whirl. An adorable paint job and familiar music have kept it successful for 60 years. Me, I've got better things to do with my Disneyland day than work a 90-second shift as the Amazing Human Spirograph.

Now, how about the most underrated ride? Which ride in the park is the most unjustly maligned by the public despite being in every way a classic? This one was a much clearer choice. The Mark Twain and Mr. Toad's Wild Ride both deserve longer lines than they get, but they lack the one trait a ride needs to be truly unfairly dismissed, and that is visibility. They aren't underrated so much as overlooked.

But there is one ride that has it all—an original concept, innovation, extraordinary artistic design, accessibility to all ages, an uplifting presence, and even its own theme song—yet routinely suffers outright mockery from the general public, from Disney's competitors, and from actual Cast Members.** That ride is the one, the only, “it's a small world.”

But you already knew that from the post title.

After-Action Report: Disneyland Forever

What do you think of my spiffy new banner? We can thank my sister for the artwork on that. Go, appreciate more of her Disney art! And maybe buy something from her on Redbubble!

Disneyland's Diamond Anniversary has hit the ground running, with special decorations and souvenirs, a new parade, and a new fireworks show (and that's just in Disneyland itself). Last week, I designated the Paint the Night Parade as the “Diamond” for the year 2015 on the grounds that of the big 60^th Anniversary offerings, I like it the best. But I didn't say why I like it the best, in particular why it wins out over the fireworks show, “Disneyland Forever.”

60 Disneyland Diamonds: 2006-2015

Here it is, then...the final Disneyland decade. Ten more Diamonds, and then I must move on to other things. We're in the home stretch now...more-or-less literally, for catching up to the present is a kind of homecoming.

If you're new to this blog, let's get you up to speed!

60 Diamonds Intro

60 Diamonds: 1956-1965

60 Diamonds: 1966-1975

60 Diamonds: 1976-1985

60 Diamonds: 1986-1995

60 Diamonds: 1996-2005

Are you ready for this? Are you sure? Here—we—go!

60 Disneyland Diamonds: 1996-2005

No fancy greeting this time. Just some links to the previous posts:

60 Diamonds Intro

60 Diamonds: 1956-1965

60 Diamonds: 1966-1975

60 Diamonds: 1978-1985

60 Diamonds: 1986-1995

And now, on with the next set!

60 Disneyland Diamonds: 1986-1995

The second half of my 60 Disneyland Diamonds for the Diamond Anniversary starts now! For the first half, see here, here, and here. And if you just stumbled upon this blog and are completely baffled as to what the 60 Diamonds series even is, see here!

60 Disneyland Diamonds: 1976-1985

60 Disneyland Diamonds for the Diamond Anniversary continues! If you need a refresher course, the previous entries are here, here, and here. And now, on with the show!

60 Disneyland Diamonds: 1966-1975

60 Disneyland Diamonds for the Diamond Anniversary continues! If this is your first time reading this blog, first of all, where have you been? Second of all, you can find the introduction to the 60 Diamonds premise here and the first ten here. And now, on to the second decade's worth!

60 Disneyland Diamonds: 1956-1965

Welcome back! Last week, I announced a new post series I'll be running here at the Disneyland Dilettante in honor of Disneyland's 60^th birthday: 60 Disneyland Diamonds for the Diamond Anniversary. So let's get the ball rolling with the first ten!

60 Disneyland Diamonds: Introduction

On July 17 of this year, the Happiest Place on Earth turns 60. The party starts this Friday!

60...wow. Feels like only yesterday that it was turning 50.

 

Back then, they did something called Magical Milestones to highlight just how much the park had grown since it opened. There were actually two versions of Magical Milestones: a set of trading pins and a special set of penny presses installed for the duration. Both versions consisted of 51 items, one for each calendar year Disneyland had been in operation and featuring a landmark event from that year—usually the opening of an attraction, but the M.M.'s also included parades, other important anniversaries, and even lesser-known events like the launching of the Disneyland Ambassador program.

The pin set would have been nice to have, but the pins started at like eight dollars a pop, and there were fifty-one of them to collect. I didn't have anything like that kind of money,* so I got the pressed pennies—a much lighter investment. I assembled a bunch of nice shiny pennies and got about $30 in quarters and had a great time hunting down all the special machines. Ten years on, the pennies aren't nearly as shiny, but I'm still proud of finishing that sidequest...and of the special drawstring pouch I made to keep the pennies in:

(I feel safe in saying that no one else in the whole world did this. Made a pouch for the Magical Milestones pressed pennies, that is. I am a special kind of strange.)

Where was I...?

Anyway, Disneyland's Golden Anniversary was great, largely due to cool things like Magical Milestones which delved into the history of the park. The Diamond Anniversary seems...less focused on that stuff (although of course I won't know for sure until it kicks off and I get to see what's what). So just in case the Powers That Be don't revisit something like Magical Milestones now that Disneyland has another decade's worth under its belt...I'm doing my own version:

60 Disneyland Diamonds for the Diamond Anniversary.

Not only will this be a nice tribute to the occasion, it will allow me to talk up rides and other things that might not merit a full post. A lot of the Diamonds will be the same as the corresponding Magical Milestones from 2005. How could they not be? The debut of the Haunted Mansion was the Disneyland event of 1969; Space Mountain was likewise the highlight of 1977. But rather than copying that list wholesale and tacking on ten extra, I've set myself a couple of limiting guidelines:

1. Disneyland Park is what's turning 60, not “the Disneyland Resort.” Saints preserve us from brand manipulation. So nothing from California Adventure, Downtown Disney, or the resort hotels will be included in this list.
   
   
2. Many of the Magical Milestones referenced attractions that are long-gone. I want each and every one of my Diamonds to be something you could go enjoy tomorrow, if you so chose.

In order to make up for these limitations, I've expanded the list of candidates to include not just attractions and parades, but shops, restaurants, and various tidbits not considered glamorous enough to be featured on any official merchandise. But they're all, in their own way, Diamonds in the Disneyland crown.

The entry for 1955 is obviously and inevitably Disneyland itself, and this whole blog is dedicated to discussing it. So next week I'll pick up starting in 1956 and give you the first ten Diamonds from that first magical decade! See you then!

* I did buy one M.M. Pin, though—1977, my birth year.

We Name the Nameless

A couple weeks ago, I shared a tidbit about having made up my own names for the individual members of America Sings's Gander Quartet*, since they never had official ones, and teased that I might do an entire post about this weird habit I've developed of doing just that. Let it never be said that I'm content to be a tease...

STAR WARS DAY BONUS! After-Action Report: A Tale of Two Tours

This post is sort of an After-Action Report and a Sentimental Paleontology in one. You can most definitely go to Disneyland and ride Star Tours in the present...but it's on its second incarnation, which is different enough from the original to almost be considered a new attraction. Whether it really is or not is a matter of opinion and perception, but it seems like Disney is counting it that way. Either way, such a major change to a long-standing E-ticket level attraction inevitably invites a Before vs. After comparison. And that's exactly what you're gonna get here.

It might surprise you to learn that I even have a preference vis-a-vis the two versions of Star Tours, after I thoroughly decried the presence of Star Wars material in Disneyland at all, in large part because I'm just not into the franchise. But here's the thing: I don't hate Star Wars. I can appreciate the importance of this film series in terms of its effects on the art of filmmaking and popular culture as a whole. I can understand why people find it so cool. I can even, from time to time, enjoy watching the movies, although no more than a chunk or two at a time.

And I do, for the most part, enjoy Star Tours. It's effective both as an adaptation of its source material and as a fun ride in its own right. Do I ride it every time I go to Disneyland? Heck no. But I ride it often enough to intelligently weigh in.

Sentimental Paleontology: Pop! Went the Weasel

Tomorrowland is a mess. This much is a largely agreed-upon fact in the Disneyland fan community. Saint Walt's Utopian Dream of the Future has Lost Its Way and become a ghastly mishmash of attractions with vague technology, science-fiction/fantasy, and even cartoon themes—mostly from IPs Disney has purchased, as opposed to creating in-house. It's probably true that the area is more inconsistent than ever before, but if we're completely honest with ourselves...we have to admit that “theme confusion” in Tomorrowland is nothing new. It arguably goes right back to Opening Day, when budget shortfalls forced Walt to fill Tomorrowland with corporate sponsors who had much more to say about what they were doing in the present than about what they would do in the future. But those exhibits at least had a scientific or technological bent that worked with the area.

So let's try a different approach. What was the last major Tomorrowland attraction to be straightforwardly futuristic rather than taking a sideways leap into science-fantasy or sillier? I think you could make a case for Space Mountain, which debuted in 1977.* It is first and foremost a roller coaster (in the dark!), but it appears to take place in a setting where people hop into tiny rockets and go zooming around the asteroids for fun. That's fanciful, but it's at the harder end of the science-fiction scale. Personal spacecraft launching from a space station are a believable future technology.

But even by the time Space Mountain made the scene, Tomorrowland already hosted a ride that had nothing to do with the future or outer space or science or technology.** That ride was America Sings, a brief history in four acts (plus an introduction and an epilogue) of American music as demonstrated by audio-animatronic cartoon animal characters. Described so brusquely, it almost sounds like a parody of Disney attractions, like the sort of thing that would be featured in an episode of The Simpsons lampooning the whole institution, while those in the know would be aware that all of those individual elements could be found in abundance throughout Disneyland, but never all in the same attraction.

But they were all in the same attraction. America Sings was sort of a distillation of Disney park tropes of its era. It was installed in 1974, timed for synergy with the upcoming American Bicentennial. But why in Tomorrowland? Even as a young child, I realized how weird this was. Why not, say, Main Street, which already had patriotism as a major theme?

After-Action Report: Enchanted Tiki Room

I had so much fun assembling last week's post about hosting an Enchanted Tiki Room-themed luau that I decided to dedicate this week's article to the attraction itself.

Having already written one of these for the Jungle Cruise, the obvious thing to do is a compare-and-contrast between these two Adventureland attractions from Disneyland's first decade. So here it is: In addition to the two points of commonality already mentioned, the Jungle Cruise and the Enchanted Tiki Room both heavily feature comedy involving audio-animatronic tropical animals. And that's about it for similarities.

The Jungle Cruise is a boat ride, the Enchanted Tiki Room a stationary show. The Jungle Cruise evokes Africa, Southeast Asia, and South America, while the Enchanted Tiki Room evokes Hawaii. The animals in the Enchanted Tiki Room are all birds, while the Jungle Cruise showcases a few birds, lots of mammals, some reptiles, and even fish and insects. The Enchanted Tiki Room is about one-and-a-half times as long as the Jungle Cruise—over twice as long if you include the pre-show. The Enchanted Tiki Room revolves around music; the Jungle Cruise decidedly does not. The Enchanted Tiki Room presents a pre-programmed show that never varies, while the Jungle Cruise, thanks to its live spiel, is different every time.

Do I have to keep going?

Kidnap the Magic: Enchanted Tiki Luau

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Spring has sprung and the weather is warming up! It's the time of year when people start to think about moving their recreational activities outdoors, and one of the classics is the luau. A better term might actually be “Hawaii theme party,” since we mainlanders don't usually follow all the genuine island traditions, but “luau” is the accepted term used by all the party supply stores. Luau gear is in abundance all throughout the spring and summer in the U.S.—all the leis, tiki torches, and plastic piña colada glasses molded to look like coconut halves that you could want.

But this isn't just any party planning guide. This is the Disneyland Dilettante! And when a Disneyland aficionado gets it into their head to hold a luau, there's only one place to go...

To the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room!

In this issue of Kidnap the Magic, I'll provide tips for turning your party space into a tropical hideaway for the lucky people you welcome there.

Beyond Blue Sky: In Search of the Perfect Disneyland Video Game

Disneyland was designed and constructed as something like a movie brought to life in three dimensions, so that you could walk through it and experience it as your own story. The ground at the entrance resembled a red carpet (at first), emerging from the entry tunnel is like a curtain lifting and revealing the scene, the Main Street windows feature “credits,” etc. But while a theme park can include a lot of movie-like content, visiting one can never really be comparable to watching a film. The audience of a film is entirely passive; the story on the screen unfolds as it will no matter how the viewers feel about it, or even whether they are paying attention. Outside of a few avant-garde experiments, there is nothing interactive about a movie.

But theme parks are inherently interactive. Even if you just wander around and don't actively engage with the attractions, you still choose where and how you wander, plotting the “story” in the process.

My point, I suppose, is that the reason Walt Disney and the Imagineers thought of the Disneyland concept as a living movie is that video games hadn't been invented yet. Exploring even the most cinematic theme park is a lot more like playing a sandbox-style video game than it is like watching a movie.

Think about it. You start the game/enter the park and get your overworld map. If you need “quests,” you can talk to an NPC (park employee) and find out what is available to do (attractions) and the difficulty of succeeding (wait times). At Disneyland itself, most of the area themes have ready counterparts in many games, especially classic platformers—you can visit the jungle level (Adventureland), the desert level (Frontierland), the outer space level (Tomorrowland), and the zany level (Mickey's Toontown). Most “levels” have atmospheric music playing non-stop. There's even a “final battle” at the end, although in this case, instead of an evil overlord, you're fighting human foot traffic.

Given all that, wouldn't it be cool if there were a Disneyland video game? Well...there have been some. A half-dozen or so—not bad for something that is usually seen as an adaptation of works of media, rather than a work of media in its own right that can be adapted. (Although I should note that only one of these games actually takes place in Disneyland itself. Likewise, only one of them takes place in Orlando's Magic Kingdom. The rest of the time, the game's designers meld the two parks together into a genericized “Magic Kingdom”¹ containing salient features of both.) Perhaps the most interesting thing about them is how different they all are. To the best of my knowledge, none of them was ever an overwhelming success...perhaps Disney Interactive is still searching for the perfect template for the perfect theme park-based game.

That's okay. So am I.

Imagineering Theory: The How and Why of Dark Rides

In this Imagineering Theory article, we’ll explore that staple of Disney theme parks, the animated film-based dark ride. We’ll see what makes them effective, what doesn’t make them effective, and how this information has typically played into actual Imagineering decisions about which films to turn into rides.

For starters, what is meant by “dark ride”? While any ride taking place in an enclosed building can be considered a dark ride (even if the scenes are actually well lit), for the purposes of this article we’ll consider only the “classic” type: a ride involving a simple, relatively slow-moving, electric-powered vehicle that transports guests through a sequence of blacklit scenes that tell a story. Disney’s dark rides are an elaboration of the “haunted house” type of attraction found at many amusement parks dating back to the early 20th Century. These primitive precursors provided the ride system and the basic special effects, but tying it all together with a story was Walt Disney’s own innovation.

However, while the story is the thing that sets Disney dark rides apart from their competitors, it is not the most important factor in creating each unique experience. Indeed, most dark rides do not do a very good job of summarizing their respective films. Notable scenes may be whittled down to a single image and line of dialogue, placed out of order or eliminated altogether, while less plot-relevant sequences may be given disproportionate attention. This is because the job of a dark ride is not to simply tell the story, but to allow the riders to experience it for themselves by transporting them to the fantastic settings depicted in the film. Place, not plot, is the most important factor.