Sunday, August 2, 2015

Kidnap the Magic: Jungle Cruise Cookout

Can you believe it's August already? Where is the year going? Before you know it, it will be Labor Day, and then the kids will go back to school, and then you'll start seeing Halloween stuff everywhere, and The Holidays Will Be Upon Us.
But in the meantime, there's still plenty of summer left—plenty of hot weather and late sunsets and not a lot of other commitments involving school or calendar holidays. Perfect conditions, in other words, for a barbecue! You know where else the weather is hot, the demands of civilization have little to no hold on you, and people cook over open fires? The untamed jungle. So for this installment of Kidnap the Magic, I'll give suggestions for turning your cookout party into a Jungle Cruise-themed extravaganza!


Location

This is one event that must be held outdoors. A lot of people like to hold barbecues on the beach, but that won't do for the Jungle Cruise. You need a location with more shade and foliage. This might be a backyard, a public park, or a campground. There should also be one or more picnic tables available, ideally close to the trees and bushes.

Decor

This is the fun part, and the thing that makes this a Jungle Cruise barbecue rather than a run-of-the-mill cookout. You're going to turn each of your picnic tables into a reasonable facsimile of a Jungle Cruise boat!
Step 1: Erect a rectangular canopy over the table. If you own one the right size, great; if not, many party supply places rent them out. Broadly speaking, the Cruise has gone through two distinct “looks” throughout its history. The old-school canopies were striped like circus tents, with an equally circus-y scalloped edge:


Since the mid-90s, to go with the pulp adventure theme of the Indiana Jones Adventure next door, they've looked far more utilitarian:


Your choice of which look to use will likely be constrained by the availability of canopies more than any other factor, so don't sweat it too much. In any case, the real Jungle Cruisiness will come from the other steps in the process.
Step 2: Hang some netting underneath the canopy. Insect netting gives the right effect (and is probably what the ride is trying to suggest), but a coarse black or brown tulle from the fabric store also has the right general look and will be much cheaper. If your canopy comes with hooks or rings around the edge, use these as anchor points. Don't thread hooks directly through the mesh as you risk tearing it; instead, tie it off at regular points and attach the ties to the hooks/rings. If the canopy doesn't come with these, simply string the mesh from pole to pole and secure it.
Step 3: Fill the mesh with small items of camping/survival gear—satchels, canteens, cookware, lightweight binoculars, etc. Don't weigh it down too much and try to distribute the weight evenly. If you have any boating accessories, such as oars or life preservers, tie them onto the canopy supports.
Step 4: Attach a nametag to the top of the canopy. You'll need to have made this beforehand, by cutting the basic shape out of cardboard (or plywood if you want to re-use it and are handy with a jigsaw) and painting the name on one or both sides. Here is a template for the shape (click on it for the full version)—blow it up to the size you want, print it out (you might have to print it in sections and join them up afterward), and use it as a stencil:


If you want to name the table after an official Jungle Cruise boat and make the sign resemble the in-park one as closely as possible, follow the appropriate link for a photo to use as a guide:
(There used to be a Mekong Maiden and Magdalena Maiden, but both were retired in the Nineties, probably for being redundant.)
Alternately, you might want to come up with your own name(s) for your table(s). Just make sure to follow the basic pattern established by the ride: the name of an exotic river plus a word or name indicating a woman.
The best method for attaching it to your canopy will depend on the shape of the canopy and the size and material of the sign, so I'm afraid you're on your own there. If attaching it to the top doesn't work out, try affixing it to the side of the canopy where it hangs over—what would be the eave on a house.

After all that, anything else you might do to decorate for your barbecue must seem like small potatoes...but that doesn't mean you shouldn't bother. There's a lot more you can do to bring across the feel of the Jungle Cruise. Set up tiki torches for illumination if you expect the barbecue to run until nightfall, or just for atmosphere otherwise. Hang up things like African-style masks, tintype photos of explorers, or framed insect collections...if you have such things that is; don't go out of your way to acquire any unless you really love this idea and plan to do it again. Use humor in your presentations—for example, wrapping rubber snakes around soda bottles or displaying a hat like the ones the skippers wear with a big bite taken out of the brim. Let your creativity run wild!

Food

This being a barbecue, you'll need to serve something grilled by definition. If you really want to ramp up the Jungle Cruise theming, go full Adventureland and make shish kebabs like the ones at the nearby Bengal Barbecue. These come in chicken, beef, and vegetable varieties, but I see no reason to necessarily limit yourself quite that much. Whatever meats or veggies suit your fancy are appropriate. I do, however, recommend eschewing traditional American barbecue sauce in favor of spicy or tangy sauces such as those found in South and Southeast Asian cuisine.
As for side dishes and drinks, here you can be comfortably lazy. Tropical Imports sells bagged chips and bottled soft drinks. Know what your guests like, and oblige! And maybe have a fruit platter on hand too.

Music

You know me by now—I consider music an essential element of any themed experience. But apparently I'm in good company—the Imagineers do also, judging by the prevalence of background music in Disney parks. The Jungle Cruise is an interesting case since all of its background music and audio is diegetic. The queue loop of big band standards is a radio broadcast, complete with periodic news spots and interference. Native drums occasionally drift in from the jungle itself. You can replicate this effect pretty easily if you have access to at least two CD or mp3 players with external speakers. Put one in your eating area—on the serving table is good—and load it up with your queue loop. The actual Jungle Cruise queue loop is pretty easy to find online these days, or you could compose your own playlist of big band songs with tropical or travel themes. Stick another player in the foliage, turn the speakers way up, and play jungle animal sounds. If you have a third one, put it even further away and play subtle African drum music. (Make sure to collect all your audio devices when you clean up after the party!)

Other

People don't generally break out the party favors and games for a mere barbecue, but just in case you want to go all out, here are a few suggestions:
  • Give out paper animal masks. You can find these at any large party supply store, though they are usually sized for children. Look for a section devoted to a “jungle” or “safari” theme to get the right sort of animals.
  • For something a step above paper masks, pick up some jungle print bandanas at a craft store and give them to your guests to wear as neckerchiefs. Tiger, zebra, giraffe, and python prints are all fairly easy to find.
  • If you need an activity, hold a comedy contest! Have everyone who wants to participate take turns telling jokes about tropical wildlife. Play as many rounds as people can stand, and whoever gets the biggest laugh—or, alternately, the loudest groan—wins a prize! The prize itself can be as sincere or as perfunctory as you like...this is the Jungle Cruise, after all. If you make it out alive, you're having a great day!

I admit, the whole “picnic table as Jungle Cruise boat” idea is one of the more elaborate ones I've had and I've never even had an occasion to try it out. So I have no idea whether it would actually, you know, work. If anyone out there ever decides to give it a shot, please let me know how it turns out!

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