Once
upon a time, Monsanto was the good guy. Hard as it may be to believe
in an age where they are perhaps best known for inventing scary
Frankenfood crops and then suing small family farms out of existence
for the crime of happening to be located downwind of them, there was
a time when they were mostly associated with neat stuff. Astroturf,
for instance. “Space Age” fabrics. And, most dramatically of all,
Disneyland attractions. Monsanto sponsored no fewer than four
Tomorrowland
attractions at various points during the park's first fifteen years.
Most
fans have heard of the House of the Future, that marvelous 100%
synthetic dwelling (located where Pixie Hollow is today) that had to
be dismantled with blowtorches because the wrecking ball bounced
right off it. Fewer have heard of Fashions and Fabrics Through the
Ages, a much less ambitious exhibit that didn't last long. It was
located right next to the Hall of Chemistry, which was actually the
first Monsanto attraction, going right back to Opening Day. The two
neighbors closed in September 1966—the chemical engineering giant
had bigger and better plans for the building they occupied. On August
5, 1967, there debuted something special. Something amazing. An
actual ride,
this time, instead of the mere walk-throughs the company had
sponsored before.
It
was once my favorite ride. It was also the first ride I lost.
Adventure Thru Inner Space.
It
can be hard to explain, to people too young to remember it, just how
compelling this ride was. They've been spoiled by the extraordinary
quality of Inner Space's surviving contemporaries (Pirates of the
Caribbean opened earlier the same year, the Haunted Mansion two years
later) and the fast-paced thrills of the coaster era that followed.
Drifting slowly past increasingly large models of snowflakes and
atoms doesn't strike them as terribly impressive. If they're familiar
with the ride's soundtrack, they might snicker at the melodrama of
Paul Frees's running narration (“Can
I possibly survive?”)
and the cornball cheeriness of the theme song, “Miracles From
Molecules.” A simple blow-by-blow of the ride's “plot” and
effects is unlikely to convince them. (If that's what you're after,
others
have done it before me.)
Maybe nothing will convince them. But it might help to think of
Adventure Thru Inner Space not as that chintzy Monsanto snowflake
ride, but as the Haunted Mansion—Tomorrowland style!
You enter the attraction building. It's dimly lit, but there are
plenty of details to examine while you wait. An unseen narrator—the
voice of Paul Frees—speaks to you, introducing you to the nature of
the experience ahead without giving away too much. You approach the
eggshell-shaped Omnimover ride vehicles, an endless line of them
moving at slow but constant speed. A moving walkway allows you to
match this speed and climb aboard. The front of the vehicle closes,
holding you in place. Your conveyance moves into the darkness, with
the disembodied narrator accompanying you. Eerie music plays in the
background. The air acquires a chill as you pass by a succession of
strange sights—mysterious lights and shapes and floating objects,
their significance explained at the discretion of the narrator.
Tension mounts. You may be in danger. Then you enter a spacious area
with a glowing globe as its focal point. Your attention is riveted to
it. After leaving this area, the ride takes on a different tone. The
floating entities are more numerous and active now, but the sense of
danger has lessened considerably. You enjoy lively music until the
ride comes to an end.
Okay, I admit it. I cheated a little. The pacing of the two rides is
entirely different. The Mansion's glowing globe—Madam Leota in her
crystal ball—is placed at about at the midpoint of the ride, while
Inner Space's atomic nucleus was near the end. But the similarities
between the two rides are noteworthy. They shared not just a ride
system* and a narrator, but a scene designer—Claude Coats, a true
master of creepy atmospheres. He set the tone for the first half of
the Haunted Mansion (before Leota sets free the ghosts) and the
entirety of Inner Space. In both cases, his influence lessens after
the pivotal scene with the glowing globe; it's just that in the case
of Inner Space, the entire ride is over by that point, whereas the
Mansion still has several more minutes to go, now dominated by
comical Marc Davis characters.
And
make no mistake—Adventure Thru Inner Space was creepy.
For most of the ride, you were in near-darkness, haunted (I use that
word deliberately) by images of ever-larger ice crystals, by tuneless
music and clanging, reverberating chimes, by the increasing
desperation of the narrator. Even the dénouement
once you left the interior of the oxygen atom was unsettling, with
liquid water molecules bouncing around randomly on all sides, and a
colossal eye peering at you through a microscope eyepiece.
I
was never frightened,
as such, by any of it...but the eeriness left its impression on me.
It made the whole thing more awe-inspiring. The set pieces were as
fantastic as they were scientific. Those giant snowflakes, glittering
under the dim bluish light, their branching crystalline spires
pointing in every direction, were like something out of a fairy
palace. The room with the huge water molecules gave an uncanny
impression of being a limbo
of pitch-black nothingness
with just these few glowing structures covered with whipping
electrons floating in it, absent any visible means of support. The
rules were different in Inner Space. “The universe of the molecule”
was indeed an altogether different universe.
I
think, too, that the fact of it being snowflakes
we were exploring contributed to the mystique. You might well ask:
Why would Monsanto, a leading producer of synthetic
chemicals, sponsor a ride centered around something as gloriously
natural
as snow/water? Some have noted the moderate resemblance of H2O
molecules to Mickey Mouse and suggested that as a motivation on
Disney's part, and...okay, maybe. The likeness didn't escape my
notice when I was six. I also suppose that maybe Monsanto didn't want
one of their proprietary formulas shown off to the public in
molecular detail. And it's certain that choosing a very simple
compound made it much easier to build the thing than if we were being
shot via Omnimover into, say, sugar crystals. Try to imagine rooms
full of these:
(Plus,
think of what it would do to the script: “Yes...these are sucrose
molecules! C12H22O11!
Twenty-two hydrogen atoms bonded to a complex framework of twelve
carbon atoms and eleven oxygen atoms...” Nowhere near as elegant.)
But there's another reason to choose snowflakes: Disneyland is in
Southern California, and most of its guests are locals. Snow, to us,
has a semi-mythic status already. It doesn't land in our backyards;
at minimum, we have to make a special day trip into the mountains to
experience it up close. Most of us never have to worry about
shoveling sidewalks or scraping windshields. We see a lot of snow on
TV around Christmas time, though. It's a source of pure magic to
us—would the soapsuds “snow” sprayed after the holiday
fireworks elicit such delight in a theme park located in South
Dakota? I think not.
As
of September 2 of this year, Adventure Thru Inner Space will have
been closed for 30 years. I can't say the closure wasn't justified;
by the time of its removal, the ride was usually a walk-on. The
effects hadn't aged well and the sets were in poor repair. But no one
can say it isn't sorely missed by the older generations of Disneyland
fans. Any discussion of it on related message boards brings out
nostalgia by the bucketful. Amateur Imagineers designing their own
Disneyland often include a version of it whether they ever rode it or
not. It even made a surprise appearance in Virtual
Magic Kingdom,
the MMORPG released for the 50th
Anniversary and targeted at children.** In the course of writing
this, I've spent a lot of brainpower on the thought: If
only I could ride it again...just once more...
Being
three decades in the past makes Inner Space maddeningly inaccessible.
To the best of my knowledge, unlike many other Disney attractions
past and present, no
high-quality video footage of the ride has survived. A few handfuls
of decent photos have surfaced, but all the video making the rounds
is mediocre at best. The darkness and use of projections inside the
ride made it fiendishly difficult to capture on film without badly
spoiling the effects, especially with the cameras and video recorders
of the time. The audio dimension of the ride is readily
available—Disneyland has released the soundtrack in various forms
and, the Internet being what it is, the files get around—but the
visual dimension is much harder to come by. Even the memories grow
more dreamlike as time passes, exacerbated by the fact that the whole
thing was pretty dreamlike to begin with.
Or
maybe that's just me. See, here's the thing. If I am completely
honest with myself, my literal, first-person memories of Adventure
Thru Inner Space—as opposed to re-exposure long after the fact via
things like the released soundtrack or published photos—are
incomplete.
Only a few phrases of the ride narration stuck with me throughout my
life. Most of the ride scenes are in place and fairly accurate, but I
somehow lost the climactic scene with the atomic nucleus and “galaxy”
of electrons. I was only eight when it closed...if it had been
allowed to hang on just a little longer, would I have a better
first-hand mental picture of it? Circumstantial evidence suggests so:
I vividly
remember America Sings, which closed a scant few years later in 1988.
I
feel deprived of Adventure Thru Inner Space in a way that doesn't
apply to other beloved extinct attractions. It vanished just as I was
really starting to get
it. And what landed in that cushy spot just inside the Tomorrowland
gates was...Star Tours. In this
post,
I listed my reasons, personal and otherwise, for being opposed to the
“Star Wars Land” concept, but now I think I missed one: The
presence of Star
Wars
in Disneyland serves as a constant reminder of the day my fascinating
snowflakes and atoms were taken away from me.
But
I don't want to end this post on such a sour note, so here's
something good. No, not good...magnificent.
It's fairly common knowledge at this point, but back in the early
years of the 21st
Century, a terrific fan named Steve Wesson went the extra mile
marathon and created a complete CG-animated ride-through of Adventure
Thru Inner Space. It's not perfectly accurate, but it's astonishingly
close, especially given the dearth of good reference images. When it
first came out, I dropped twenty bucks on the DVD version, which
included the ride-through itself as well as some nice bonus material.
But you don't have to, because the ride-through, at least, has been
posted to YouTube since 2011. And here it is, in all its glory:
Still
not convinced? Well...a video, no matter how well made, will never
quite capture the experience of really being there. Maybe you had to
be there. Adventure Thru Inner Space was many things. It was
simultaneously the last of the “old guard” of Tomorrowland
science attractions—you know, that whole “Utopia awaits thanks to
the largesse of our benevolent corporate overlords” message—and
the first of the “new guard,” where scientific endeavors are
fraught with peril. It seamlessly blended hard scientific knowledge
with wild flights of fancy. It used the glories of nature as a
platform for extolling human artifice, and of course it was itself a
splendidly clever work of artifice. It made a colossal spectacle out
of the infinitesimal, and in the process rendered the macroscopic
quite irrelevant, at least for six minutes or so. All in all, in both
style and substance it was inescapably a product of its time. We will
not see its like again.
Links:
* In fact, I always noticed that the Atommobiles were identical to
the Doom Buggies except for the color. It provided a sort of
comforting cross-park continuity, as it were.
I never got the chance to ride Adventures Thru Inner Space (a byproduct of my having to get to Disneyland under my own steam, at age 27, in 2005), but it is one of the Disneyland attractions that I most wish I could have seen. I'm sure that the myth of it doesn't quite match the reality, but it is still one of those great original attractions that draws you into a new world... In this case, the inner world of molecules and atoms rather than the world of ghosts or pirates or fairy tales. It looks like it would have been right up my alley.
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