Here it is, then...the final Disneyland decade. Ten more Diamonds,
and then I must move on to other things. We're in the home stretch
now...more-or-less literally, for catching up to the present is a
kind of homecoming.
If you're new to this blog, let's get you up to speed!
Are
you ready for this? Are you sure? Here—we—go!
2006: Fairytale Arts
It
hasn't happened yet, but it's definitely on my Disneyland To-Do
List...one of these days, I will arrive early and make a beeline for
the walkway north of the Matterhorn and get
my face painted.
I might be a tiger for the day (or for as long as the makeup lasts,
anyway) or have a butterfly half-mask daubed directly on my skin. Or
maybe just a dragon on one cheek, if I'm on a tight budget. And then
maybe that same day, I'll walk a few feet west and have my first name
rendered in watercolors with each letter dressed up as something from
a fairy tale or adventure story. These are the services offered at
Fairytale Arts. It's too open-air to be a shop, too spread out to be
a booth or cart, but it is a stable feature of Fantasyland. It may be a
bit “County Fair” for Disneyland, but I am a big fan of the
concept of personalized souvenirs, and it doesn't get much more
personal than your
name
and your
face.
2007: Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage
Once
again I have to confess that I'm not crazy about the ride itself. I
was excited enough when I heard that the Submarine Voyage was finally
going to re-open with a Finding
Nemo
makeover, but I wish they had gone with something more creative than
a recap of the movie taking place entirely on LCD screens. I
mean...that's not substantially different from just watching the
movie except that you have to stand in line first.
But, like Tarzan's Treehouse, it's better than the nothing we were
stuck with for nearly a decade. And there are some aspects I
genuinely like. The colors of the sculpted sea creatures come from
revolutionary paints pigmented with chemically stable glass granules.
This means that they don't rapidly fade from exposure to light and
chlorine, which in turn greatly lessens the frequency with which the
lagoon has to be drained in order to repaint the figures. The LCD
screen technology is pretty impressive as a means of inserting fully
animated CGI characters into physical scenes. And I'm glad they
remembered to give the recorded voices of the “captain” and
“first mate” Australian accents, in keeping with the Great
Barrier Reef setting of the film. (And that the first mate is a
woman.)
2008: Pixie Hollow
I, like many people, was wary of the Tinker Bell movies when I first
heard about them. Disney's track record with direct-to-video
entertainment was...not great, and we didn't know what to think about
the prospect of Tink a) speaking intelligibly, and b) being the
sympathetic protagonist instead of a fascinatingly jealous and catty
sidekick for one of Disney's more morally ambiguous title characters.
Fortunately, the movies turned out to be...not fantastic, but a lot
less saccharine and more smartly written and imaginative than we had
all feared. Not only were they pleasant stories to watch, they took
place in a fully realized setting that we could enjoy imagining
ourselves a part of. Appropriately enough, Imagineering gave us the
next best thing and turned Pixie Hollow into a place we could, if not
move to, at least visit for a few minutes.
Technically, the installation is “just” a character
meet-and-greet area. But it's one of the better-done ones—the
actual meeting spot is screened from the surrounding area by banks of
giant “grass” and the queue portion employs successively larger
sculptures of fairies and props in order to give the impression that
you are gradually shrinking to a pixie-esque scale. The queue also
has its very own music loop, composited of excerpts from Joel
McNeely's Celtic-inspired score for the first Tink movie. By the time
you get to where the flesh-and-blood fairy characters are, you're
thoroughly immersed in this whimsical fantasy environment. Nighttime
brings additional enchantment in the form of a periodic brief light
and water show that sweeps through the area, accompanied by more of
that awesome Celtic-styled music. Pixie Hollow may be modest as
Disneyland attractions go, but it's every bit as beautiful as a
proper fairyland should be.
2009: Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique
Speaking of beautiful, in recent years you may have noticed little
girls frolicking around the park not only in sparkly Princess
dresses, but with full makeup and elaborate hairdos. No, they're not
all part of the pageant circuit (although some might be, I don't
know)...they got glamor makeovers at Fantasyland's Bibbidi Bobbidi
Boutique. I have a love-hate relationship with the Disney Princess
franchise in general, but I am definitely not going to begrudge these
cherubs their special dress-up time. What kind of monster do you take
me for?
Not being seven years old myself and never being at the park with
someone of that age bracket whose parents were springing for such
royal treatment, I haven't seen the salon area itself. But you don't
need an appointment to visit the retail space in the front of the
boutique, which functions like any other shop and is stocked
ceiling-to-floor with Princess costumes and accessories. Personally?
I can take it or leave it. But for the little girls making it part of
their Disneyland day, it's not just a Diamond...it's a Diamond Tiara.
2010:
Authentic Jungle
Cruise
The
Jungle Cruise has been seen on this list already, way back in 1962
when the addition of the Elephant Bathing Pool forever marked it as a
humorous attraction rather than a realistically serious one. But this
milestone was too good to pass up. If you've ever wished you could
visit a real jungle and lamented that the closest you could manage
was the Jungle Cruise, lament
no more,
because in 2010, the ride's meticulously cared-for landscape and
flora was declared to be
a genuine jungle ecosystem. The imported tropical trees and shrubs
interact with each other just as they would in their native lands and
grow as if they were wild rather than cultivated and capture heat and
moisture during the day so that the air over the river stays warm at
night and in the winter.
And how's that for a dose of prescription-grade irony? All that
effort over the years on the part of the Imagineers and skippers to
make the Jungle Cruise sillier and weirder and pulpier and more
fantastical...and meanwhile nature, like a sneaky Blue Fairy, had its
own agenda in exactly the opposite direction.
Maybe the magic of Disneyland, too, is real after all...?
2011: Mickey's Soundsational! Parade
I didn't see many Disneyland parades growing up. Either my parents
thought it was a waste of time to spend half an hour to an hour
sitting on the curb instead of going on rides, or they thought my
sister and I would find it a waste of time, or something. We would
watch the Electrical Parade when it was in season, because by that
time of the evening we needed a break anyway to give us the juice to
last until closing time...but apart from that, I didn't watch one
start to finish until I was an adult, making my own trips and
defining my own time in the park.
And I can say that, of the ones I have been privileged to see in
their entirety,* Mickey's Soundsational! Parade is the very best.
It's the first parade in at least 20 years that exists for its own
sake, celebrating the combined Disney legacy rather than promoting a
single movie, major anniversary, or holiday. As parade themes go,
music is bursting with potential, and Soundsational! realizes it
brilliantly, incorporating musical instruments and symbols into
costume and float designs and featuring a broad selection of movies
chosen for musical variety moreso than mere marketability. Yet the
medleys for the different parade units are so well-composed and
harmonious that the choreography for one will synch up with the music
for another. And it's all tied together with an original theme song
that works with every unit, from the opener with Mickey Mouse himself
actually rocking out on an actual drum kit, to the whimsical Mary
Poppins-themed finale. It's a thing of beauty on every level.
2012: Glow With the Show
“Interactivity” is all the rage these days. Disneyland has at
least one interactive ride and has been known to experiment with
interactive parades. But how do you introduce interactivity into a
100% choreographed, pre-recorded nighttime show? Turns out...you
can't, really. But you can make people feel involved by
selling them a mouse ears beanie that can receive digital
transmissions from your show equipment. Some people are opposed to
light-up souvenir doohickeys on principle...and there are probably
more of them than there need to be, some more obnoxious than
others.** But if the “Glow With the Show” ears are just another
naked cash grab, then they are a naked cash grab with amazingly
beautiful results, as waves of color sweep through the audience for
Fantasmic!, the fireworks, and other nocturnal entertainments. When
no active show is within receiver range, they shift slowly through
the spectrum thanks to their internal LEDs.
There's another reason I find GWTS ears to be a cut above the rest of
the blinking, flashing gewgaws that come out in droves as soon as the
sun goes down: When used as intended, the ears benefit everyone
except the wearer (and the curmudgeons opposed on principle, I
suppose). Any time someone makes the choice to buy and wear these
ears, they are making the choice to entertain the crowd around them,
but themselves not so much. While I doubt altruism per se
drives most of the purchasing decisions, people still do it realizing
that it won't work as well unless a whole lot of people make the same
decision. That makes this possibly the first community-minded
Disneyland souvenir, and that's kind of a neat concept all by itself.
2013: Fantasy Faire
If nothing else—if nothing else—we should appreciate
Fantasy Faire for taking the Princesses off the Fantasyland Theatre's
hands and freeing it up for unique shows again. But fortunately,
there is a decent amount of else to be found in this little nook just
southwest of Sleeping Beauty Castle. I've always said—though I
didn't always have the vocabulary to say so eloquently—that rides
are not nearly as important to the Disney theme park mystique as
quality themed environments, and Fantasy Faire is certainly a
successful example of the latter. Architecturally, it echoes the
old-world village aesthetic from the other side of the castle, and
even if you don't want to meet a Princess or watch the Smythe and
Jones Fairytale Variety Hour,*** you can poke around and hunt for all
the terrific little details. Clopin's Music Box and the animatronic
Figaro on the balcony are obvious enough, but take a look sometime at
the upper shelf behind the cash registers in the Fairytale Treasures
shop. If you ever wondered whether Disney's animated fantasies do in
fact take place in the same universe, here's your answer.
2014: Movie Previews in Tomorrowland
As cool as it was when Captain EO came back to the Magic Eye Theater,
I don't really mind that he's taken off again, presumably to wield
the powers of his magic rainbow tee-shirt on yet more troubled
planets. They didn't have a ready-made replacement, and I don't think
anyone was on the edge of their seat hoping for the reinstatement of
Honey I Shrunk the Audience. But Disney's been getting its hand back
into science-fiction in a big way, and so, while we wait for them to
come up with a new and unique 3-D film (or failing that, a new use
for that space entirely), we get sneak previews of upcoming
releases—not exactly an advanced screening, just a scene or two,
but much more than a trailer and enhanced with all the goodies the
Magic Eye can provide. Guardians of the Galaxy and Big Hero
6 both introduced themselves to the parkgoing public this way,
and there's no reason to suppose the same won't happen later this
year with Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens. In the
meantime, the Magic Eye itself is cooling its heels...but the sci-fi
attractions continue right next door, where part of the former
Starcade is currently hosting an exhibit of concept art and props
from the film Tomorrowland.
2015: Paint the Night
Speaking of current attractions...here we are, aren't we. The very
last Diamond on the list. Forgive me if I get a little emotional
here...
Disneyland officially turns 60 on July 17, but the festivities have
been in full swing since Memorial Day Weekend. Sleeping Beauty Castle
is blinged out with diamond embellishments, the shops are packed with
Diamond Anniversary souvenirs, and in accordance with recent
tradition, a new parade and a new fireworks show have been
rolled out for daily viewing. I was tempted to call the whole shebang
the last Diamond, but I decided to single out the bit I like the
best: the Paint the Night Parade.
It's not across-the-board awesome the way Soundsational is, but we've
missed having a nighttime light parade. If you've been a fan of
Disneyland for at least 20 years or so, you probably remember the
debacle surrounding Archdemon Pressler's forced retirement of the
beloved Main Street Electrical Parade in order to replace it, for no
readily discernible reason, with the disturbing Light Magic. Much
later, the Electrical Parade was reinstated...at California
Adventure. It wasn't the same. Paint the Night isn't quite the
Electrical Parade, but it's a worthy heir to its tradition to exactly
the extent that Light Magic wasn't—a marriage of “millions
of dazzling lights” with relentlessly upbeat music. You'll notice
I'm being sparing with details, for the sake of those who haven't
made it out to see the parade yet but prefer to be surprised. If you
don't mind spoilers, everyone and their uncle has already posted
their home videos of this beauty to YouTube. What an age we live
in...
Sixty years is a long time—most of a human lifetime. Yet Disneyland
has not only held on for all that time, not only grown and thrived,
but has managed to add—and keep!—new delights every year
since it was first introduced to a fascinated public. That's a hell
of a résumé, and I'm sure Walt would be thrilled from top to bottom
to see just how far his audacious idea has come. He missed Pirates of the Caribbean and the New Tomorrowland by mere months; could he possibly have anticipated the likes of Space Mountain, or Splash Mountain, or Fantasmic!? Wouldn't he have been flabbergasted, in the best way, by these achievements?
Aren't we lucky to have them?
Thanks for coming along with me on this journey. Regular features
resume next week!
* Except, perhaps, the aforementioned Electrical Parade.
** Glowing roses are okay. Glowing necklace of Jack
Skellington making faces? Pretty gauche.
*** Not its actual name.
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