Armchair Imagineering: PVC Figurines

(Tip of the hat to fellow-blogger and commenter Cory Gross, whose recent post about his kitbashed Disney board game Talismouse started a conversation which led to this post.)

This is going to be a bit of a different Armchair Imagineering post than the usual. Instead of sharing my grand ideas for rides, attractions, and holiday overlays, this one is about...souvenirs. Merchandise. Swag.

Souvenirs are obviously a big part of Disneyland, but most of the ones available seem to revolve around Disney's film and television IPs. It's not difficult to see why this is: It's easier to sell people stuff they recognize than stuff that might be brand-new to them. Tourists are having a terrific time at the park, to be sure, but they might not be falling in love with the individual attraction characters to the extent that they're willing to blow their memorabilia budget on Hitchhiking Ghosts when that Winnie the Pooh plush is right there, promising to make them feel like a kid again. So there's a lot more of the latter than the former lining the shelves.

Then, too, most of the merchandise that specifically references the park treats Disneyland* like a holistic entity, with little attention paid to its individual components. If you had only tee-shirts and picture frames to go by, you could easily be forgiven for thinking that the place consisted only of a castle with animated characters cavorting around it:

Celebrating 60 Years of Painfully Generic Branding

More specific items exist, of course...but the execution is inconsistent. There are pins, if you're into that sort of thing, and the odd plush toy. Beyond that, things start to get pretty pricey. At the low end, a handful of the popular Ear Hat Ornaments are based on rides, but they're twenty-five bucks a pop, making it a daunting task to build a collection. That, and they're Christmas tree ornaments based on Mickey Mouse ear beanies, meaning that the rides in question are not being allowed to stand on their own as souvenirs. The “purer” the attraction merchandise gets, the more expensive it gets. If you love more than one ride for its own sake, but you're not rich, it can be all but impossible to express your love via knickknacks.

But sometimes Disney gets it right. If you shop at the Disney Store, you've probably seen those packages of PVC character figurines, generally featuring anywhere from six to ten individual pieces and priced at around twelve dollars. Some years ago, the movie casts were joined on Disneyland (and presumably Walt Disney World) shelves by this set of bona-fide “Disney Theme Park Characters”:

There's also this set with the weighty name of “Sorcerer Mickey vs. the Disney Villains”...but the precise choice of Villains makes it evident to any park fan that it's a Fantasmic! set in disguise:

I am the proud owner of both sets. The second one I still see around sometimes, but the first one appears to be out of production. I thought for awhile that they had given up on PVC figurines of theme park characters that haven't also been in the movies, but then this past holiday season, this beautiful set appeared in Adventureland and New Orleans Square shops:

Six Pirates of the Caribbean figures, and not a Jack Sparrow** or Davy Jones to be seen. The most encouraging figure is the Redhead, because her presence proves that they're not just reaching in unconventional directions in order to sell more plastic pirates to little boys on the basis of brand-name recognition. Actually, the appearance of the human characters seems drawn directly from Marc Davis's concept art rather than the resulting animatronics...this set is for us, people. For the Disneyland fans.

With that in mind, it must have been a tough call for the designers to boil all the memorable characters of Pirates of the Caribbean down to only six figures, one of which had to pull double-duty as a title sign. If this set does well, maybe they'll release a “Part 2” with more luminaries from this most luminous of rides.

But you know what would be even better, especially in the meantime? If they did the same thing for more attractions! Here are just some of the great Disneyland attractions that are brimming with potential for these sorts of toys.

Enchanted Tiki Room

This may not be the most obvious choice for a toy set, but it has this going for it: They wouldn't need to create as many molds to fill out a character roster, since the four leads are all basically identically shaped. If we have to stick to the standard established by the PotC set and include only six figures, my picks are José, Michael, Pierre, and Fritz, plus an orchid in a basket and a Tiki Drummer (with one of the latter two also featuring the attraction sign). If we can go as far as eight, let's add a sulfur-crested cockatoo from the Birdmobile, and a jolly toucan. Much as I would love to have accurate, inexpensive models of the Tiki Gods, that would probably have to wait for an expansion pack.

Jungle Cruise

The big challenge here would be differentiating this set from any generic “jungle safari” playset. The obvious solution would be to include a distinctive Jungle Cruise boat rather than the usual Jeep, but it would have to be scaled down and molded as a single lump of plastic, ruining any actual playability. It's probably best to save the boat for a hypothetical full-on playset and focus on the wildlife...by which I mean, of course, a skipper. And maybe some animals or something.

No, in all seriousness, there are a handful of animals on that ride that instantly scream “Jungle Cruise!” to anyone in the know. The tiger is pretty distinctive with that hunch-shouldered pose. No common safari toys would ever feature a gorilla holding a shotgun or an elephant sitting up under a waterfall. A lioness with cubs batting at her tail tuft would be another excellent choice. A hippo head rising out of the river is a little more generic, but still a high point of the ride and I would expect to have one.

And then there are the human figures! Trader Sam (or Chief Namee for our Florida friends) is a classic Adventureland character. The native ambush is pretty recognizable and those war masks are fairly distinctive.

And by the way...I wasn't kidding about the skipper. They may not be animatronic, but they're some of the most memorable characters to originate in the Disney theme parks and you can't “play Jungle Cruise” without one. If they do create this set, it will be really interesting to see how they “cast” this key figurine.***

Haunted Mansion

Everyone wants this to be a thing, right? You can take or leave Tiki Birds and Country Bears, but if they're willing to make PVC figurines of the Pirates of the Caribbean, they simply must follow it up with a Haunted Mansion set. Agreed?

But here we run into a minor snag. I think we can all agree that you can't have the Haunted Mansion without Madam Leota...but you can't make her as a solid PVC figure. She would have to be a PVC head installed inside a separate crystal ball made of a transparent hard plastic, which would drive up the price of the set.

So here's my solution: As long as this set would have to be more expensive anyway...why not go all-out and make this one a deluxe set, with three rows of figures instead of just the two? Instead of a mere six to eight icons, we'd be looking at nine to twelve!

And that's a good thing, because I can't choose a mere handful of favorite characters from this ride the way I can with some others. Besides Leota, we would simply have to have the Ghost Host/Hatchet Man/Master Gracey, Constance, the Hatbox Ghost, all three Hitchhiking Ghosts, and the Groundskeeper, and if I were in charge of the project I would also include the 13 Clock, a Cast Member costumed as a maid, and the Singing Busts...although that bunch could be combined in a single figure the way related characters sometimes are in the movie-based figurine sets.

Come to think of it, there's so much iconic imagery in the Haunted Mansion in the form of both ghostly characters and haunted props—and the ride is so extremely popular—that they could launch a line of collectible figures that just went on and on. At least until they hit 999 separate pieces.

Country Bear Jamboree

This show may be extinct at Disneyland, but it's still alive and kicking in Walt Disney World, and I'm sure it has enough nostalgic fans on the West Coast to make it worth stocking the shelves in both resorts. What's more, it features plenty of instantly recognizable characters, with about a half-dozen that stand apart from the pack as “stars.” My picks would be: Henry (with Sammy up top), Big Al, Liver Lips, Wendell, Gomer at his piano, and Trixie. (I would say Teddi Barra, but her swing would probably be too difficult to render well in PVC.)

Splash Mountain

Usually when I think about unique Disneyland merchandise, I focus on rides and attractions that aren't based on movies—there's little difference, in practice, between merch for movie-based rides and merch for the movies themselves, which can be found just about anywhere.

Splash Mountain, however, is a special case. Not only can't you find any merchandise for Song of the South unless you go deep into vintage territory...you can't find Song of the South unless you go bootleg. Disney has disowned the film in every context except the ride it spawned, so for all intents and purposes, Splash Mountain can be considered a Disneyland original.

It's a little light on well-known characters, though. Once you've covered the three Brers—Rabbit, Fox, and Bear—who's left to fill out the rest of the set? Who really stands out among the dozens of audio-animatronic critters the ride inherited from America Sings? Here are some possibilities:

• Brer Terrapin. The tortoise to whom Brer Rabbit confesses his running-away plans may not be the most exciting character on the ride, but at least he has an official name, which is more than you can say for most of them. Plus he's a bona-fide import from the writings of Joel Chandler Harris.
• Mrs. Rabbit and her brood. I think the ride is trying to imply that this is Brer Rabbit's family, even though all other evidence points to him being a swinging single. No matter—the mournful mother rabbit surrounded by her stereotypical litter was a striking image on America Sings and it's equally striking on Splash Mountain.
• The Boot Hill Boys. Riders can't possibly fail to notice these two, who address us directly, with humor so black that each line emits a measurable amount of Hawking radiation, as we begin to ascend the big lift.
• A gospel-singing hen. I just think a set like this should include a figurine that is definitely singing “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah.”
• Professor Barnaby Owl. The proprietor of the photo kiosk at Splash Mountain's exit also makes an appearance on the ride itself, presenting each logful of riders with their drop photo as they exit the finale scene. Again—not an exciting character but a named one, and the significance of this being the first Disneyland ride to take your picture can't be overlooked.

Naturally, all my references are from Anaheim's version of Splash Mountain. I understand there are a lot of differences between it and Orlando's version, including the presentation of some of the characters. I also know that the merchandising department tends to treat Magic Kingdom as the definitive “kingdom park” and use its specific imagery when designing items. So even if they used some of my ideas, a set like this could end up looking very different than I envision it.

Heck, I'd buy it anyway.

“it's a small world”

To be fair, Disney hasn't done too terribly with merchandise for this ride. The fact that the characters all resemble dolls and plush animals to begin with makes for comfortably obvious concepts for souvenirs, and over the years these concepts have been rendered as everything from $10 Beanie Babies to $150 ceramics. So a $12 PVC figurine set shouldn't be out of line, right?

The only difficulty would be selecting just six to eight out of the dozens of countries depicted on the ride. If they really committed to this idea, then each continent could have its own set (and I would definitely Collect Them All)...but if they just did one, I think I'd have to go with a French can-can girl, Indian snake charmer boy, Japanese girl, African boy, Mexican boy, and Pacific Island girl. That gives us suitable diversity while still including some of the most iconic dolls on the ride.

(As an aside, please note that I would not wish to include any a) Disney film characters or b) white Americans. This is classic “it's a small world.”)

Odds and Ends

That's about it as far as extant attractions with full casts of notable characters, but while writing this post, I've also considered possibilities like the following:

• Mountain Range: Little models of the Matterhorn, Big Thunder Mountain, Space Mountain, and Splash Mountain, each accompanied by a secondary model of the ride vehicle and/or a prominent “character” such as the Yeti or the dynamite-chewing goat.
• Carousel of Progress: Like the Country Bear Jamboree, it's extinct in Disneyland but still a going concern in Walt Disney World, and not only has a consistent set of characters, but makes use of historical and seasonal imagery. This set could be a lot of fun to design, let alone display/play with.
• America Sings: Technically, the Splash Mountain set would also be this. But if they had trouble deciding which supporting characters to include in that one, they could package the also-rans with Sam and Ollie figures and give us nostalgic fans a treat.
• Live Performers: A Dapper Dan, a Billy Hill, and a Royal Street Bachelor walk into a bar... This is one of the more unusual ideas I've come up with, but the live musical groups that have appeared in Disneyland over the years do a lot to create and maintain its unique atmosphere, and the costumes would be fun to see all together.
• Tomorrowland Robots: Captain Rex, a G2 droid, Tom Morrow, the FedEx robot from Space Mountain, maybe ASIMO...are there any other good ones? How about in Orlando's Tomorrowland? And on that note:
• Captain EO: I'm honestly surprised they haven't already released more nostalgic merchandise for this show, including character toys. EO and his crew would make fantastic PVC figurines just as they are. Though I must admit that of all my ideas here, this one has the least chance of becoming a reality—Disney probably doesn't want to pay Michael Jackson's estate for the right to use his image.

How about it? Would you buy sets like the ones I propose? What other sets would you be interested in or what would you change about my ideas? Let's show Disney that we want what their theme parks have to offer that can be found nowhere else!

* Or “the Disneyland Resort,” or—far worse—“Disney Parks”

** Sorry—Captain Jack Sparrow.

*** Five'll getcha ten they'd model it after Dwayne Johnson.