After-Action Report: Three Underrated Attractions

A loooooooong time ago, I did say that this blog wasn't just for the big fancy rides that everyone loves, or even the medium-sized fancy rides with Important History that the theme park enthusiasts love. Sometimes, it pays to appreciate the little things: the rides and attractions often overlooked by the general public, or enjoyed as a last resort, to fill some time before a FASTPASS or dinner reservation slot rolls around. This week, I'd like to direct your attention, briefly, toward three such attractions.

Davy Crockett Explorer Canoes: Total Immersion*

A certain amount of energy has been expended in recent years toward the goal of making theme park attractions more “interactive.” Guests are no longer completely satisfied with passive entertainment; they want to Do The Thing! Great! So we get ride-through video games (Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters, Toy Story Midway Mania), participatory shows and parades (Celebrate!--A Street Party, Jedi Training Academy), and things to poke and twiddle while we wait in line.

And then there are the Davy Crockett Explorer Canoes, née Indian War Canoes, which are not only intensely interactive, but one of the few truly real experiences in any theme park. There is nothing artificial or imaginary about them; you literally paddle a literal canoe which is literally floating in literal water. Except for the fiberglass and the lack of practice, it's pretty well indistinguishable from the historical experience of operating a canoe in the actual Western wilderness.

Also, you can flip water at people in other canoes with the tip of your paddle! You shouldn't, and the Cast Members will likely have Words with you if you do, but technically you can.**

In all seriousness, the literal hands-on aspect of this ride is both why it's important, and, unfortunately, probably why it's not particularly popular. Paddling is an unfamiliar activity for most people, and after an entire circuit of the Rivers of America, the average guest's arms are apt to be not only tired but sore. That's not, I assume, the sort of thing most people want from their Disneyland vacation.

But if you ask me, a little pain is worth it to have something real in this place of illusion and fantasy. And hey—the river loop is shorter now. If you're in the habit of skipping the Canoes, there's never been a better time to give them another chance.

Great Moments With Mr. Lincoln: STEM and the Humanities Kiss and Make Up

You might think it a little strange that Mr. Lincoln gets so little attention when his spinoff in Orlando, the Hall of Presidents, is one of the most enduringly popular attractions in the place.*** But it actually stands to reason. I think it's probably safe to say that East Coast residents feel a lot more connected to American history and government than us West Coasters, since so many of them live in or can easily travel to Washington, DC, Boston, New York,**** and all those other Important Historical Cities. For them, a robot President show is something they can really sink their teeth into, while for us, it can feel uncomfortably like school.

It's an attitude we really should do more to overcome, because Mr. Lincoln is frankly awesome. Yes, the historical stuff is a bit dry, and nothing we all didn't already know, but if nothing else, you should take some time once in a while to appreciate one of the most lifelike audio-animatronic figures ever created anywhere. Unlike the broad caricatures of Pirates of the Caribbean, the Haunted Mansion, and similar, the Lincoln robot is capable of subtlety: shifting his weight and glancing at his notes in a naturalistic manner. Rumor has it that he is sometimes mistaken for a live actor. The deaf have been known to read his lips. That's an incredible level of technological sophistication, all in service of...a theme park exhibit.

And if that doesn't float your boat, consider this: It's a nice break from standing and walking, in the air conditioning, with dim lighting and soothing sounds.

Let's not take it for granted, hm?

For our final underrated attraction, we'll be heading across the Esplanade...

Walt Disney Animation: Soak In It

You want interactive? Hollywood Land has got your interactive right here! Among other things, you can play with voice recording, take a Myers-Briggs personality test with Disney characters instead of incomprehensible strings of letters, and even get coached on drawing classic characters.

Or you can just do what I usually do and hang out in the lobby for a full rotation of the loop of animation clips and music.

There's a lot to love about the lobby display, from the massive screens depicting every stage of the animation process from concept art to finished product, to the music that saturates the area from every side, to the cushy upholstered benches that dot the floor, to the colored lights and occasional projected images that enhance the whole thing. It all serves as a fine reminder that despite the studio's ups and downs, Disney is still the gold standard in theatrical animation, constantly raising the bar for the art as a whole. Sitting in that room, you are effectively immersed in a sea of visual and auditory stimulation of superb quality. It's a heady experience, yet also relaxing. I can't recommend it enough.

What are your favorite underrated attractions, and why?

* Hopefully not literally!

** But you shouldn't.

*** Frothing controversy and all!

**** Neeewwww Yooorrrrk! The greatest city in the world!