Flipping the Script: The Matterhorn

 THIS NEVER POSTED? WTF, BLOGSPOT?

It occurred to me the other day that I've probably attracted some new readers with my Tumblr cross-blogging...so assuming you're out there, welcome aboard! You'll get the hang of things around here pretty quickly, but to assist the process, here's a “cheat sheet” for the major kinds of posts I am in the habit of making.

When you see the After-Action Report tag, I'm reviewing and/or commenting on a current attraction—you could theoretically drop in on the Anaheim resort the next day to fact-check me. Sentimental Paleontology, by contrast, is for my thoughts on extinct attractions. (Get it? Extinct...paleontology? Get it? Dangit, I explained the joke. Never explain the joke.)

Armchair Imagineering is where I stash my detailed ideas for things that could be added to the park, in a parallel timeline if not this one. It is distinct from Imagineering Theory, which is more about the principles of attraction design.

With Unauthorized Fun, I offer potential ways to enjoy Disneyland that you won't find in any brochure. And then there's Kidnap the Magic, wherein I offer potential ways to take Disneyland home with you...that you won't find in any brochure. (This is how I label the posts regarding my themed parties, of which there are embarrassingly many, and my craft projects, of which there are embarrassingly few.)

In Source Materials posts, I examine how things and concepts from the real world are used to great effect inside the parks. On the other hand, there are also Beyond Blue Sky posts, where I pull out all the stops on my wildest fantasies, and the topic is often how things and concepts from the parks could be used elsewhere.

Huh, I never realized before how many matched pairs of topic categories I was setting up.

The last few post categories don't line up so neatly, however. The Second Sense is a tag I put on any post dealing primarily with in-park music (especially area music) and other audio. It Came From the Fandom is something I pull out when I run short of time and ideas—I bang out a quick post promoting a Disneyland-related thing from elsewhere on the internet. (We just had a nice example last week.)

And finally, the newest post category, introduced right near the end of 2017: Flipping the Script, wherein I propose a rough outline—more than an elevator pitch, but less than a full treatment—for a film based on an attraction that doesn't have one yet.

And that's what this week's post is! What luck!

Last time I did this, I threw together a kid-friendly movie based on the Enchanted Tiki Room. This time, I think I'll do something completely different. Instead of a light-hearted kids' fantasy romp, how about a more adult-focused* science-fiction-ish thriller/mystery/adventure? And instead of the warm tropics, how about frigid mountain peaks?

How about, in fact, a movie based on the Matterhorn?

Genre/Themes

As mentioned above, I'm envisioning here a sort of PG-13 rated science-fiction mystery/thriller—something in a similar vein to the 1950s “atomic monster” movies, but hopefully not so corny. Maybe it could even be set in the 50s—the Matterhorn Bobsleds opened in 1959.

As for themes, the theme of said movies usually wound up being “Do science responsibly,” and I see no reason not to follow suit. Only, I would make it very clear that the message was: “Do SCIENCE! Responsibly!” All too often, “do science responsibly” gets muddled and comes across more as “science is playing god and thus inherently irresponsible,” which is a sentiment that should be set on fire and shoved into a black hole. How often do we see movies that not only extol the importance of science but actually showcase its reality—not just the flashy results, the gadgets and controlled explosions, but the meticulous process that led to those results? Make it sexy to gather and analyze evidence and control for all the variables.

I don't know how I'd work that into a story like this one, but I would want to.

Rough Plot Synopsis

Something weird happens with CERN or whatever.** Possibly involving laboratory monkeys and a particle stream.

Weeks later, several hikers disappear without a trace in the vicinity of the Matterhorn. Our Heroes—a team of four or five specialists—are sent to investigate. They find evidence—hair, footprints, claw marks on mangled items of climbing gear, etc.—to suggest that a previously unknown species of very large primate is in the area.

Obviously, it turns out to be a yeti, and a shockingly hostile one. But although it is responsible for the missing hikers, it hasn't killed them—instead, it is holding them prisoner in an ice cavern...as the team discovers when they are ambushed and captured themselves. From there, they must effect their escape from the beast's lair, which necessarily entails understanding the yeti's motives for taking people in the first place, and perhaps where it came from.

Opportunities For Fanservice

Most of these will be visual elements from the ride and its environs—things like the shape of the yeti footprints, the appearance of chalets, maybe the presence of Swiss heraldry on said chalets, luminescent ice crystals in the yeti's cave, that sort of thing. Beyond that, the best I can come up with in the time I have is for two of the captured hikers to be named Hans and Otto.

And I think it goes without saying that the humans' escape from the yeti's lair will involve bobsleds somehow. But that's hardly an Easter egg.

Possible Pitfalls

There are two big things to watch out for here, one of which I have already mentioned: the risk of bringing across an inadvertant anti-science message. That one is fairly easy to avoid. The second is tougher—when working in a genre this well-worn, it is all too easy to fall into the pit trap of cliché and lose the element of surprise...which is bad for any movie, but disaster for one that tries to maintain some sense of mystery and suspense. I might have to hand this issue off to a co-writer, because...well, see the second footnote below.

And there you have it! This one is a lot less detailed than the entry for the Enchanted Tiki Room, largely because the corresponding attraction is less detailed. I'm eager to hear what my readers have to say on the matter...especially, to bring this thing full circle, those of you who might be new!

* But still basically family-friendly, since people will take their kids to see a movie based on a Disney ride, even one with a height requirement.

** Science-fiction isn't really my strong suit.