After-Action Report: GotG—Monsters After Dark

They should not have closed the Tower of Terror. I still hold that opinion. That ride was...basically perfect for its circumstances. It fit in exactly with Hollywood Land, it did an extraordinary job of building up atmosphere, it made guests the center of the story (“...in tonight's episode you are the star...”) and the effects were pretty dang...effective.

Guardians of the Galaxy—Mission: Breakout! is a distinctly inferior replacement. I have no animus against the GotG franchise itself—on the contrary, the movies are delightful and the second-worst thing about the firing of James Gunn is the wrench it throws into the production cycle of the third one*—but it's not the sort of thing that begs to be a theme park ride, and certainly not this theme park ride. It's awkwardly crammed into infrastructure that was designed for something completely different, it jettisons the Tower's beautiful melding of physical sets with digital effects in favor of a collection of movie screens, instead of making the guests the protagonists it makes them side characters in someone else's adventure, it has an unwieldy, overly wordy name, and the building is an eyesore.

Someone signed paperwork approving this design. Wrap your mind around that.

(Some people have the audacity to claim that this is an improvement on Tower of Terror. To them I say: On what grounds? Seriously, what does it do better? Also, aren't you the same people who were telling us we shouldn't be upset that it was being changed because it was still going to be a drop ride? Do you see the contradiction there?)

All that said, there is something at least moderately interesting about the ride's Halloween overlay, Guardians of the Galaxy—Monsters After Dark, and that's that it is framed as a direct sequel to Mission: Breakout! I don't think that's ever been done with Disney theme park attractions before—Star Tours: The Adventures Continue is framed as a prequel to the original Star Tours, what with the older Starspeeder model and glitchy prototype of Rex in the queue, but there is no sense in which the events of the one lead to the events of the other.**

Mission: Breakout! literally causes Monsters After Dark. The tower's generators get shut off during the former, and in the latter, the loss of power has freed all the dangerous creatures from confinement (hence the title). If nothing else, I appreciate the experiment. A Halloween overlay that only goes into effect at night (with the default version of the attraction operating during the day) is probably the only circumstance under which this conceit could really work, and I imagine it must be pretty cool if you manage to go on both in one day.

This is not to say that similar ideas couldn't work, especially if played subtlely. It could cross the borders of attractions or even lands. Imagine, for instance, if evidence were planted suggesting that the founder of the Jungle Cruise Co. got his startup capital mining gold in Big Thunder Mountain (before the disaster, of course). Obviously this would have to be used sparingly—Imagineering is doing something like this with the Society of Explorers and Adventurers, and the overall consensus from the snooty elitist fans is that it's not nearly as clever as the creators seem to think it is, doesn't really add anything to the attractions it touches, and discourages guest imagination by imposing One True Backstory on everything.

Anyway, back to Monsters After Dark: How is it as a ride? Eh, it's okay, I guess. It has all the same weaknesses (compared to Tower of Terror) as its non-Halloween/daytime counterpart, but some of the details are different. Pro: Since it is framed as a horror story rather than action-adventure, the queue is made creepier and more atmospheric, with reddish lighting and corrupted video transmissions playing on the big screen. Con: Instead of a more traditional eerie Halloween score or even the upbeat pop songs of Mission: Breakout!, our musical accompaniment is abrasive and repetitive heavy metal.***

I'm also not entirely sure it works as a Halloween overlay. Mission: Breakout! is already a ride that drops you at unpredictable intervals while various threatening situations play out on the screens and occasionally are staged to narrowly miss you. I'm not sure there is a way to make that scarier or more thrilling and aside from the unsettling elements in the queue, I am sure Monsters After Dark isn't such. It also doesn't reference Halloween by name, or use any of the holiday's specific imagery such as ghosts or pumpkins. If they decided to make it a year-round thing, it wouldn't exactly be out of place.

And that's about all I have to say on the matter. Should you check out Monsters After Dark, if you find yourself in California Adventure this Halloween season? Sure, why not. Unless you're legitimately afraid of heights/falling, darkness, monsters, fire, or Bradley Cooper.

Have a magnificent spooky holiday, readers mine. Next week...something different!

* The first-worst thing is that it was done at the behest of neo-Nazis. In case you were wondering.

** And that's not even addressing the fact that in aggregate, the events of ST:TAC are a stinking jumbled mess of shredded continuity.

*** I don't personally mind it, and it is composed by Tyler Bates, who also did the scores for both movies, but I imagine it must have fairly niche appeal among the theme park crowd.

The Second Sense: A Halloween Song For Every Land

In my various ruminations about how to further dress up the Disneyland Resort for the Halloween season, I have touched on the subject of seasonal music loops. I always include a few examples in my proposals—songs with spooky subject matter in the right genre for the area—but this time I thought I'd try something a little different and come up with one signature Halloween song for each area in both parks.

And for an extra bit of challenge...none of them can be Disney tunes. No “Skeleton Dance,” no “Headless Horseman,” no “This Is Halloween.” The Disney theme parks are in danger of losing themselves completely in self-reference, so I'm pulling back from that a bit.

Be fairly warned...this is a video-heavy post.

It Came From the Fandom: Disneyland Halloween Costumes

Anyone remember this post? No? Fair enough; it was an awfully long time ago by blog standards. I guess that means I'm not repeating myself too badly if I do another post about Disneyland-themed costumes!

First, I should probably go ahead and re-post my photo collage from...jeez Louise, five years ago at this point. AKA “That Time I Was the Small World Clock Tower For Halloween”:

Not pictured: my dignity

(If you're wondering, how did she do that?, please follow the link above. If on the other hand you're wondering, why did she do that?, I'm afraid I can't help you. Who knows why wackos like me do anything?)

In sharing the above with the internet, I have definitely outed myself as one of the geekiest of the Disneyland geeks. Disney Halloween costumes are thoroughly mainstream (and sold in the parks in children's sizes), but Disneyland Halloween costumes are the domain of the truly obsessed and, with very few exceptions, require DIY skills to achieve. So when you see someone walking around dressed as an iconic character from the parks—or even worse, an iconic structure (*cough*)—you know you're witnessing a True Believer at work.

We're rare, but we're out there. For this week's post, I'll share some of the ones I found perusing Google.*

(Disclaimer: Not all of these people are celebrating Halloween. Some of them are at conventions, including D23.)

Armchair Imagineering: Villain Land

Back when I used to frequent various online Disney theme park forums, one recurring suggestion from the Armchair Imagineers present was some sort of “Villain Land” or “Villain Mountain”—a themed area devoted to the Disney Villains. As I recall, the idea was almost never developed beyond that basic concept—those proposing it didn’t really know what they wanted, but they sure had a mighty need for it.

Well.

I’m an Armchair Imagineer myself, not an armchair psychologist, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and suggest that what these young people—because they were always young people, teens and early twenties—actually wanted was for Disney to validate their fandom as young adults. They hadn’t grown out of their childhood love of Disney but had reached an age where they were starting to be embarrassed about it, so they gravitated to the “darker and edgier” aspects of the brand—the Haunted Mansion, The Nightmare Before Christmas…and the Villains.

I bet a lot of them shopped at Hot Topic.*

My point is that the vagueness of the “Villain Land” idea is probably because it wasn’t coming from a place of Armchair Imagineering inspiration, but a simple desire to have something at Disneyland that the young adults could enjoy unself-consciously. If it gets around at school that you went to Disneyland and rode “it’s a small world,” you’ll be a laughingstock…but if it gets around that you went to Disneyland and rode, uh, the Malefi-coaster, no one will even bat an eye, because Maleficent is badass and was played by the sexy Angelina Jolie that one time.

Personally, I don’t think a Villain Land would work all that well. It’s not that the idea of a place where the Villains reign supreme lacks appeal—it would basically be a dark mirror of Fantasyland—but the execution would have to be bold in order to find its audience, and Disney's handling of its crossover brands has historically been anything but bold. Crossover might not even be the right word for Villains, or its innocent counterpart Princess—when was the last time you saw any merch for either that had the characters from different films interacting, as opposed to just existing side-by-side?

I can guarantee you, the sort of people to be interested in a hypothetical Villain Land would want interaction. They would want worldbuilding.** They would want to be heavily reminded of Fantasmic! and/or Kingdom Hearts. And I don't trust Disney's willingness to take the necessary creative risks in providing these things.

But what if...?

What if, instead of a mere Armchair Imagineer, I were an actual Imagineer, getting paid for it, and in fact I were advanced enough to be put in charge of designing the Villain Land project? How would I make the most of the opportunity? 'Tis true, you cannot make of a sow's ear a silk purse, but surely some kind of functional container, presumably made of rawhide, is possible?

That apocalyptic shattering sound you just heard was my knuckles cracking as I get to work!

Armchair Imagineering: Halloween Adventure

Many moons ago, I outlined a vision for a Disneyland Park going as hard (if not harder) for Halloween as it typically does for Christmas—unique decorations throughout every land, seasonal area music loops, nighttime attraction overlays, live entertainment, the works. None of it has actually come to pass, of course, but Halloween remains a highlight of the year, both at the Disneyland Resort and in the larger culture.

So now it’s the other park’s turn.

Like its older sister, California Adventure does a fair amount for Spoopy Day already, but there is tons of room for improvement, in terms of both refining what is there and adding more. One interesting aspect here is that the Halloween offerings only really kick in at nightfall, which is...certainly thematically appropriate! I might just let that stand.

Conversely, the one thing I find pretty irritating is the designation of Oogie Boogie as the park's official Halloween mascot. There's nothing wrong with a Halloween mascot per se,* but not only are there no specific links between California Adventure and The Nightmare Before Christmas or its characters, they don't actually do anything with this supposed mascot. His silhouette appears over the entrance gates and there are occasionally booming announcements in Ken Page's fabulous voice. That's it. There's no Oogie meet-and-greet tucked into an unassuming corner, no Oogie-based attraction overlay or stage skit.

So if we must have a mascot, then a) it should be a character with some legitimate connection to the park (such as perhaps?) and b) you should be able to tell that they're the mascot.

Anyway, let's get to the land-by-land breakdown. I admittedly have fewer solid ideas for this park than for the other one, mostly because...I was already an adult when California Adventure opened. I didn't grow up thinking about it; it doesn't live in my bones the way Disneyland does.

But let's see what I can do.