Armchair Imagineering: A Proper “Studios” Park

There seems to be a broad consensus among theme park fans that Disney's worst results come about when it tries to poach Universal's fanbase by creating parks (and sometimes sections of parks) where the “theme” is: movies. The main reason for this consistent failure is, I think, that Disney is too wedded to the concept of “magic.” The thing that makes Universal Studios Hollywood unique is not which IPs it can lay claim to, but that it is entwined with a working film studio, and its centerpiece attraction (as well as various others over the years) is all about showing its guests, in some detail, how filmmaking works, how the illusions are created. Other Universal parks don't have this going for them, but some of the mojo rubs off on the brand.

But Disney won't do that, because for some reason the company hates admitting that what it does is artifice. Maybe the decision-makers actually don't think much of guests' imaginations,* so they assume they have to trick us into believing it's all really truly reeeeaaaaaaaaal or we can't be counted on to purchase Princess costumes and toy lightsabers. Whatever the reason, the “Studios” parks end up being dumping grounds for rides based on movies that don't fit the themes of a Kingdom-style park or Epcot or DisneySea, but they're still movies, so they totally work in a park where the theme is movies, right?

Right?

Does it even need to be said at this point that I disagree?

If Disney really wants to duke it out with Universal, it has to be willing to go all-in—to say not only “Aren't our movies awesome?” but also “And here's how we make them so.”

And then it has to do its rival one better by focusing on not just the most popular movies under its already vast and still-expanding umbrella, but those movies that best demonstrate “movie magic”—the ones that advance the artform in some significant way, the ones that enjoy not just box-office success but critical acclaim. By the same token, the company needs to be willing to highlight the differences in how the various studios it has absorbed tell their stories, instead of just blithely subsuming them under the homogenized banner of Disney-ness and pretending that Elsa, Spider-Man, Chewbacca, and Dory are all natural companions to each other.

This Armchair Imagineering post offers a rough idea of how they might do that in a hypothetical “studios” park.

In addition to this bold premise, I continue to champion the idea that there is a broad middle ground between the biggest bestest most elaborate thrill rides on one hand, and the humble character meet-and-greets on the other, and Disney needs to get back to offering more of that middle ground.

Intrigued yet?

It Came From the Fandom: Yesterworld Entertainment

(My excuse this time around is that I'm on vacation and taking it easy. I'll have something more interesting next week.)

Our subject this week is Yesterworld Entertainment, a YouTube channel focusing on theme park attractions that are either extinct, or have been heavily altered over the years. The curator addresses not just Disney parks, but Universal Studios and even films and video games, and occasionally does long-form podcasts with other theme park vloggers. The presentation is straightforward, with an abundance of photos and video clips showing what once was. Most YouTube channels can't tell me anything about Disneyland that I don't already know, but I've learned a lot from Yesterworld. There's no attraction too big or too small for this channel, as long as it has a detailed history. As of this writing, the most recent video is this one about Peter Pan's Flight:

Give it a watch! There's enough here to keep any theme park fan busy for hours or days!

Imagineering Theory: But I WANT To Design a Tie-In Ride!

You may have noticed that I tend to come down pretty hard on IP-based attractions around here, especially the newer ones. And maybe you've found that a little...distressing. The great majority of Armchair Imagineering efforts probably take inspiration from Disney films and TV series. It's hard not to go that way when there's so much material to draw on and we have so many examples already in the parks. I know I can come across pretty strong in my opinions, and maybe I've given you cause to wonder if I might be preemptively dismissing your own ideas as unworthy.

Sorry if I did give that impression. I didn't mean to. It would be pretty hypocritical of me, given that most of the items under my own Armchair Imagineering tag use Disney properties as inspiration. Moreover, it would be pointless to discourage the Armchair Imagineers of the world from sowing their seeds of creativity in such fertile soil.* Everyone expects Disney IPs to be adapted as rides in Disney theme parks. It's a legit tradition. It's not gonna stop.

The point of this post is not to tell you not to design tie-in rides. It's to tell you how you can design tie-in rides that are interesting, unique, and even artistic on their own merits. To that end, I've got some Do's and Don't's to offer you. Actually, make that Don't's and Do's—each Don't followed by one or more Do's as alternatives.

Now, if only I could get WDI to take my advice...

My Top 5 Attractions I've Never Been To (Yet)

As I mentioned at the start of the year, I am running low on detailed things to say about Disneyland. But there is a growing roster of Disney theme park resorts around the world, only one other I have had any experience of, and that was...nearly 30 years ago, if you can believe it. So there's a whole lot I haven't seen in person, but in this day of YouTube and GoPros, I can get a pretty good impression of them regardless—easily enough for me to develop Opinions about which ones intrigue me the most.

Some of you have more money and vacation time than I do, so maybe you can tell me whether my Opinions are backed up by Facts?

Anyway, here my five favorite Disney attractions that I've never (yet) been to in person!