After-Action Report: New Christmas Decs!

Short post this time—I've been a bit sick and the holiday tasks are piling up as it is! But I did manage to fit in a visit to the main park recently, and I took a few pictures of some lovely decorations that have been added this year.

I'll begin in Frontierland, which has been putting up Christmas decorations for quite some time (as described in this post). But these ones are new, and have a lot of character. It's not just the ornaments that are unique to each—the evergreen bases to which they are attached vary from post to post, as if each was assembled from scratch by a different person who used whatever they had on hand or could easily find. The highlight has to be the single boot, which is a perfect Old West stand-in for a Christmas stocking:

From there, we move to Fantasyland, where...I don't want to alarm anyone, but they have finally started putting up decorations in the Fantasyland Courtyard. I speculated in the post linked above about what that might hypothetically look like, but the reality turned out to be far more restrained than what I was imagining. You could put these up in your house without anyone batting an eye:

Yes, those are apples on the decoration for Snow White.

It almost feels like a beta test, like maybe they plan on expanding these in years to come. They are a little sparse for the medieval castle environment, I think.

Around this time most years, I put the blog on a little year-end hiatus so I can focus on my holiday obligations and brainstorm ideas for the new year. But I'm finding myself in a bit of a quandary this time around...I think I'm running out of topics to write about! I am coming to the end of my fourth straight year of Disneyland blogging, having maintained a pretty faithful weekly schedule for most of that time. Even a lifelong just-short-of-obsessed fan like me has to run dry eventually, right?

There are a few things I don't want to do. I don't want to start spacing the posts out more, for fear my eternally busy schedule squeezes out my motivation to maintain the blog altogether. And I don't want to let it devolve into more of this—just collections of recent photos detailing minutiae like crowd levels, construction progress, and maintenance hiccups. I want to keep this a thoughtful blog.

I might not be averse to expanding my subject matter. Reviewing other theme parks is probably off the table for now for financial reasons, but I occasionally touch on the subject of Disney movies, and perhaps I could go into more detail on my thoughts in that area.

Ideally, though, I would keep my focus on the Disneyland Resort. So I put it to you...what would you like to see me write about that I haven't yet? Any attractions, past or present, you'd like to see my take on? Principles of theme park design I should address? General questions I should answer?

I'll give you the next...oh, three weeks or so, to think about it. Until then, Happy Holidays to my few but loyal readers, and keep dreaming!

The Second Sense: Top 5 Holiday Music Loops

As long as we're thinking about Christmas music...

This isn't the first time I've gone off about the area music loops in the Disneyland Resort and it probably won't be the last. But we're solidly into the Christmas season now, with all its attendant responsibilities, and I need to write and post something simple. Simple...like one of the most basic delights of the holiday season at Disneyland: the temporary replacement of many area music loops with holiday versions.

Background music is a key element in creating themed atmosphere (or atmosphere at all, really), and this is especially true when the theme involves Christmas, because the intergenerationally familiar music is such a big part of the holiday. Disneyland's holiday loops are generally excellent for their purpose, but only about half of them are much good for any other purpose—i.e. general seasonal listening. I'll pull up the New Orleans Square waterfront loop as part of my Disneyland Christmas lineup, but not when I just feel like getting my holiday spirit on. Dixieland jazz isn't a normal part of my music listening habits.

But there are a handful of these loops from both parks, past and present, that I absolutely adore on their own merits, not just because they remind me of Disneyland. Here they are, in reverse order of my preference, so that the best is saved for last!

Armchair Imagineering: Walt Disney Animation Holiday

We can definitely start thinking about Christmas music now.

Disney sure loves its holiday overlays. Between Halloween and Christmas, and counting parades and fireworks shows, there are no fewer than eleven holiday-specific attractions in the Disneyland Resort.* Likewise, quite a few music loops throughout the resort are seasonally replaced with Christmas-y versions.

However, there is one—attraction? sort of? let's call it an attraction-esque feature—wherein the music is much of the point, yet it has never been given this sort of temporary reskin. And this despite the fact that the feature in question is so modular that creating and executing a special version for the winter holiday season would be a snap. I am referring, of course, to the lobby area of Walt Disney Animation in California Adventure.

I've gushed about this spot before. It's just such a pleasant place to pass a half-hour or so until the display loops around. Given the extent to which my personal enjoyment of the Christmas season relies on the holiday's unique atmosphere, I can't help but feel this would only be enhanced if the lobby lined up with the holidays. The only snag is...is there enough material?

It's not that Disney never makes anything specifically for Christmas. Consider Mickey's Christmas Carol, or Prep and Landing, or even Beauty and the Beast: Enchanted Christmas. The problem from our point of view is that Walt Disney Animation focuses exclusively on theatrical features, on the output of Walt Disney Animation Studios and Pixar. And given that the point is to toot Disney's horn about its best offerings, things should probably stay that way. So where are we supposed to come up with a 30-minute loop's worth of Christmas footage when not a single entry in the Disney Animated Canon or the Pixar filmography counts as a Christmas movie?

Well, there are a few things we can do. The main one is that instead of celebrating an entire movie at a time, we can zero in on particular scenes, sequences and songs that are Christmas-related. Another is that we can then broaden our standards to include general winter imagery, which in American culture is associated almost exclusively with Christmas. I'll go ahead and say we can venture a little outside the WDAS/Pixar dyad, as long as we stay within the realm of theatrical feature animation. And finally...as a holiday special, maybe this loop doesn't have to be as long as the standard one. 15-20 minutes should suffice.

So what have we got to play with?

After-Action Report: 5 Cool Custom Gifts You Can Get At Disneyland

We can start thinking about Christmas shopping now, right?

Once upon a time, strange as it may seem, Disneyland was considered a prime shopping destination. The park was chock-a-block with unique shops selling lines of merchandise that could be found literally nowhere else. There was a candle shop on Main Street, an antique shop in New Orleans Square, and the Guatemalan Weavers operated out of the Adventureland Bazaar. This all changed in the Nineties, when Archdemon Pressler decided it would be more efficient to just stuff the park with the same stuff being sold in every large mall in the country via the Disney Store. But even the machinations of a suit-wearing hellfiend couldn't completely eliminate the park's uniqueness, and to this day, there are quite a few distinctive, customizable, and surprisingly affordable items available at Disneyland's specialty shops and kiosks.

Here are just five that would make awesome holiday gifts for the special people in your life.

Kidnap the Magic: Disneyland Christmas Ornaments

We can start thinking about Christmas decorations now, right?

One year, my Christmas decorations revolved around a Disneyland theme. Before you roll your eyes and go “Well, duh,” you should be aware that I choose a different decorating scheme every year, and usually it's color-based. For instance, this year, my colors are red, green, gold, and purple.

But one year, I just couldn't settle on a palette for some reason, so I went with Disneyland. I used all the various mouse-eared ornaments I've picked up at the park itself, tied loops of string to my die-cast ride vehicles to turn them into ornaments and since that wasn't enough to really fill out my tree...I made a bunch more. I made an entire set based on the Small World Promenade Wreaths, using 6” snowflake ornaments as backdrops. I gave those away to a friend some years ago, but I still have some others that I put together:

And I do mean put together. These ornaments are assemblages of elements. Disneyland is far from my only subject matter when it comes to creating ornaments like these,* but I'm sure it's the one you're interested in. They're actually pretty easy to make, if time-consuming...but you do need special materials that are not necessarily easy to acquire. Said materials are as follows:

It Came From the Fandom: The Disney Experience

I don't like doing one of these only three weeks after the last one, but it was just Halloween—my time and thoughts have been very occupied with matters other than this blog.

Anyway, this one is a lot of fun. The Disney Experience is a website dedicated to cataloguing creative resources for Disney fans. It's more addressed to general Disney fandom than the Disney theme park fandom specifically, but there is a lot of theme park related content, and crucially, the website treats it as its own facet of the Disney brand rather than making the common mistake of treating the parks as a mere spinoff of the film properties.

I want to call special attention to the paper model “kits” (actually downloadable PDF files) featured as their own category, as this is where the best theme park material is concentrated. If you have access to a color printer, a detailed, accurate model of the iconic Disney structure of your choice is within your reach!*

Other points of interest include:

• Paper dolls and other crafts that are not the elaborate models.
• Tools for customizing a personal computer with a Disney theme, including desktop wallpapers, mouse pointer sprites, and—my personal favorite—fonts!
• Special events and contests and whatnot.
• Validation for anyone who was worried that they were alone in their Disney obsession.

Poke around and see if you find anything you like!

* Provided, that is, your choice is one of the Castles, Haunted Mansions, Snow White's Wishing Well, the old Disneyland marquee...

After-Action Report: GotG—Monsters After Dark

They should not have closed the Tower of Terror. I still hold that opinion. That ride was...basically perfect for its circumstances. It fit in exactly with Hollywood Land, it did an extraordinary job of building up atmosphere, it made guests the center of the story (“...in tonight's episode you are the star...”) and the effects were pretty dang...effective.

Guardians of the Galaxy—Mission: Breakout! is a distinctly inferior replacement. I have no animus against the GotG franchise itself—on the contrary, the movies are delightful and the second-worst thing about the firing of James Gunn is the wrench it throws into the production cycle of the third one*—but it's not the sort of thing that begs to be a theme park ride, and certainly not this theme park ride. It's awkwardly crammed into infrastructure that was designed for something completely different, it jettisons the Tower's beautiful melding of physical sets with digital effects in favor of a collection of movie screens, instead of making the guests the protagonists it makes them side characters in someone else's adventure, it has an unwieldy, overly wordy name, and the building is an eyesore.

Someone signed paperwork approving this design. Wrap your mind around that.

(Some people have the audacity to claim that this is an improvement on Tower of Terror. To them I say: On what grounds? Seriously, what does it do better? Also, aren't you the same people who were telling us we shouldn't be upset that it was being changed because it was still going to be a drop ride? Do you see the contradiction there?)

All that said, there is something at least moderately interesting about the ride's Halloween overlay, Guardians of the Galaxy—Monsters After Dark, and that's that it is framed as a direct sequel to Mission: Breakout! I don't think that's ever been done with Disney theme park attractions before—Star Tours: The Adventures Continue is framed as a prequel to the original Star Tours, what with the older Starspeeder model and glitchy prototype of Rex in the queue, but there is no sense in which the events of the one lead to the events of the other.**

Mission: Breakout! literally causes Monsters After Dark. The tower's generators get shut off during the former, and in the latter, the loss of power has freed all the dangerous creatures from confinement (hence the title). If nothing else, I appreciate the experiment. A Halloween overlay that only goes into effect at night (with the default version of the attraction operating during the day) is probably the only circumstance under which this conceit could really work, and I imagine it must be pretty cool if you manage to go on both in one day.

This is not to say that similar ideas couldn't work, especially if played subtlely. It could cross the borders of attractions or even lands. Imagine, for instance, if evidence were planted suggesting that the founder of the Jungle Cruise Co. got his startup capital mining gold in Big Thunder Mountain (before the disaster, of course). Obviously this would have to be used sparingly—Imagineering is doing something like this with the Society of Explorers and Adventurers, and the overall consensus from the snooty elitist fans is that it's not nearly as clever as the creators seem to think it is, doesn't really add anything to the attractions it touches, and discourages guest imagination by imposing One True Backstory on everything.

Anyway, back to Monsters After Dark: How is it as a ride? Eh, it's okay, I guess. It has all the same weaknesses (compared to Tower of Terror) as its non-Halloween/daytime counterpart, but some of the details are different. Pro: Since it is framed as a horror story rather than action-adventure, the queue is made creepier and more atmospheric, with reddish lighting and corrupted video transmissions playing on the big screen. Con: Instead of a more traditional eerie Halloween score or even the upbeat pop songs of Mission: Breakout!, our musical accompaniment is abrasive and repetitive heavy metal.***

I'm also not entirely sure it works as a Halloween overlay. Mission: Breakout! is already a ride that drops you at unpredictable intervals while various threatening situations play out on the screens and occasionally are staged to narrowly miss you. I'm not sure there is a way to make that scarier or more thrilling and aside from the unsettling elements in the queue, I am sure Monsters After Dark isn't such. It also doesn't reference Halloween by name, or use any of the holiday's specific imagery such as ghosts or pumpkins. If they decided to make it a year-round thing, it wouldn't exactly be out of place.

And that's about all I have to say on the matter. Should you check out Monsters After Dark, if you find yourself in California Adventure this Halloween season? Sure, why not. Unless you're legitimately afraid of heights/falling, darkness, monsters, fire, or Bradley Cooper.

Have a magnificent spooky holiday, readers mine. Next week...something different!

* The first-worst thing is that it was done at the behest of neo-Nazis. In case you were wondering.

** And that's not even addressing the fact that in aggregate, the events of ST:TAC are a stinking jumbled mess of shredded continuity.

*** I don't personally mind it, and it is composed by Tyler Bates, who also did the scores for both movies, but I imagine it must have fairly niche appeal among the theme park crowd.

The Second Sense: A Halloween Song For Every Land

In my various ruminations about how to further dress up the Disneyland Resort for the Halloween season, I have touched on the subject of seasonal music loops. I always include a few examples in my proposals—songs with spooky subject matter in the right genre for the area—but this time I thought I'd try something a little different and come up with one signature Halloween song for each area in both parks.

And for an extra bit of challenge...none of them can be Disney tunes. No “Skeleton Dance,” no “Headless Horseman,” no “This Is Halloween.” The Disney theme parks are in danger of losing themselves completely in self-reference, so I'm pulling back from that a bit.

Be fairly warned...this is a video-heavy post.

It Came From the Fandom: Disneyland Halloween Costumes

Anyone remember this post? No? Fair enough; it was an awfully long time ago by blog standards. I guess that means I'm not repeating myself too badly if I do another post about Disneyland-themed costumes!

First, I should probably go ahead and re-post my photo collage from...jeez Louise, five years ago at this point. AKA “That Time I Was the Small World Clock Tower For Halloween”:

Not pictured: my dignity

(If you're wondering, how did she do that?, please follow the link above. If on the other hand you're wondering, why did she do that?, I'm afraid I can't help you. Who knows why wackos like me do anything?)

In sharing the above with the internet, I have definitely outed myself as one of the geekiest of the Disneyland geeks. Disney Halloween costumes are thoroughly mainstream (and sold in the parks in children's sizes), but Disneyland Halloween costumes are the domain of the truly obsessed and, with very few exceptions, require DIY skills to achieve. So when you see someone walking around dressed as an iconic character from the parks—or even worse, an iconic structure (*cough*)—you know you're witnessing a True Believer at work.

We're rare, but we're out there. For this week's post, I'll share some of the ones I found perusing Google.*

(Disclaimer: Not all of these people are celebrating Halloween. Some of them are at conventions, including D23.)

Armchair Imagineering: Villain Land

Back when I used to frequent various online Disney theme park forums, one recurring suggestion from the Armchair Imagineers present was some sort of “Villain Land” or “Villain Mountain”—a themed area devoted to the Disney Villains. As I recall, the idea was almost never developed beyond that basic concept—those proposing it didn’t really know what they wanted, but they sure had a mighty need for it.

Well.

I’m an Armchair Imagineer myself, not an armchair psychologist, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and suggest that what these young people—because they were always young people, teens and early twenties—actually wanted was for Disney to validate their fandom as young adults. They hadn’t grown out of their childhood love of Disney but had reached an age where they were starting to be embarrassed about it, so they gravitated to the “darker and edgier” aspects of the brand—the Haunted Mansion, The Nightmare Before Christmas…and the Villains.

I bet a lot of them shopped at Hot Topic.*

My point is that the vagueness of the “Villain Land” idea is probably because it wasn’t coming from a place of Armchair Imagineering inspiration, but a simple desire to have something at Disneyland that the young adults could enjoy unself-consciously. If it gets around at school that you went to Disneyland and rode “it’s a small world,” you’ll be a laughingstock…but if it gets around that you went to Disneyland and rode, uh, the Malefi-coaster, no one will even bat an eye, because Maleficent is badass and was played by the sexy Angelina Jolie that one time.

Personally, I don’t think a Villain Land would work all that well. It’s not that the idea of a place where the Villains reign supreme lacks appeal—it would basically be a dark mirror of Fantasyland—but the execution would have to be bold in order to find its audience, and Disney's handling of its crossover brands has historically been anything but bold. Crossover might not even be the right word for Villains, or its innocent counterpart Princess—when was the last time you saw any merch for either that had the characters from different films interacting, as opposed to just existing side-by-side?

I can guarantee you, the sort of people to be interested in a hypothetical Villain Land would want interaction. They would want worldbuilding.** They would want to be heavily reminded of Fantasmic! and/or Kingdom Hearts. And I don't trust Disney's willingness to take the necessary creative risks in providing these things.

But what if...?

What if, instead of a mere Armchair Imagineer, I were an actual Imagineer, getting paid for it, and in fact I were advanced enough to be put in charge of designing the Villain Land project? How would I make the most of the opportunity? 'Tis true, you cannot make of a sow's ear a silk purse, but surely some kind of functional container, presumably made of rawhide, is possible?

That apocalyptic shattering sound you just heard was my knuckles cracking as I get to work!

Armchair Imagineering: Halloween Adventure

Many moons ago, I outlined a vision for a Disneyland Park going as hard (if not harder) for Halloween as it typically does for Christmas—unique decorations throughout every land, seasonal area music loops, nighttime attraction overlays, live entertainment, the works. None of it has actually come to pass, of course, but Halloween remains a highlight of the year, both at the Disneyland Resort and in the larger culture.

So now it’s the other park’s turn.

Like its older sister, California Adventure does a fair amount for Spoopy Day already, but there is tons of room for improvement, in terms of both refining what is there and adding more. One interesting aspect here is that the Halloween offerings only really kick in at nightfall, which is...certainly thematically appropriate! I might just let that stand.

Conversely, the one thing I find pretty irritating is the designation of Oogie Boogie as the park's official Halloween mascot. There's nothing wrong with a Halloween mascot per se,* but not only are there no specific links between California Adventure and The Nightmare Before Christmas or its characters, they don't actually do anything with this supposed mascot. His silhouette appears over the entrance gates and there are occasionally booming announcements in Ken Page's fabulous voice. That's it. There's no Oogie meet-and-greet tucked into an unassuming corner, no Oogie-based attraction overlay or stage skit.

So if we must have a mascot, then a) it should be a character with some legitimate connection to the park (such as perhaps?) and b) you should be able to tell that they're the mascot.

Anyway, let's get to the land-by-land breakdown. I admittedly have fewer solid ideas for this park than for the other one, mostly because...I was already an adult when California Adventure opened. I didn't grow up thinking about it; it doesn't live in my bones the way Disneyland does.

But let's see what I can do.

The 5 Scariest Disneyland Resort Attractions (That Aren't the Haunted Mansion)

There is a school of thought, concerning theme park attractions, that says: Scarier = Better. (It often overlaps with the related Faster = Better school.) Naturally, it comes to the fore during the fall season, when temporary Halloween attractions pop up everywhere and try their best to scare the pants off everyone who pays good money to experience them, and occasionally succeed.

Disney theme parks don't usually fare too well on the Scarier = Better scale. WDI tends to take a middle-of-the-road approach with attraction content, avoiding both the too-saccharine and the too-horrific. Exceptions, especially on the too-horrific end of the scale, come across as “not Disney enough” and may not last as long as they probably would in someone else's park. It's something of a pity—it would be nice if the world's finest attraction builders got to stretch themselves a little more, instead of having to stick within the bounds of a PG/soft PG-13 rating.

Regardless, Disney rides are not scary. At least, they don't have a reputation for being scary. Depending on the guest, they can be quite scary indeed...not always on purpose! The Haunted Mansion is the obvious example of a Disney attraction that is considered at least mildly spooky—so obvious that for this post, I decided it would be more fruitful to set it aside and talk about others instead.*

So here are—in my estimation—the five scariest non-Haunted Mansion Disneyland Resort attractions!

(Disclaimer: None of them actually scare me, nor ever have. Even when I was little, I think I had too firm a grasp of reality to be actually frightened by Disneyland. I knew it was all pretend and couldn't really hurt me.)

Sentimental Paleontology: Late Lamented Haunted Mansion Effects

Well, we're into September now, and you know what that means.

“Halloween creep” is getting to be as bad as Christmas creep, but this year I actually don't mind. I, along with about 90% of the people I know, have been basically done with summer since approximately mid-July. Bring on the pumpkins, I say.* And what better way to kick off Halloween Season at the Disneyland Dilettante then with a look at the Haunted Mansion, and particularly aspects of it that are, shall we say, no longer with us?

And boy howdy, are there ever a lot of them. Plenty of attractions have been upgraded and retooled over the years, but I think I can safely say that no other attraction has undergone anywhere near as much piecemeal turnover—adding, subtracting, and/or replacing individual show elements as opposed to whole scenes—as the Mansion. There are probably several reasons why this should be. The supernatural subject matter lends itself to many different kinds of effects, which practically beg to be upgraded as technology improves. It's a modular sort of spectacle, in which swapping out one ghost for another doesn't meaningfully alter the ride's sense of narrative flow. And it has a devoted fanbase always ready to scour every inch for surprises, meaning that any tinkering is bound to be noticed.

The upshot is that sometimes a fragment of the Haunted Mansion just...goes away, usually with little to no fanfare, never to be seen again in this life. But they say that nothing is truly dead as long as its name is still spoken...**

After-Action Report: Pin Collecting/Trading

I don't know what it is about the pins. It might be simply that they're cute, affordable, don't take up much space, and come in such a staggering variety that you're bound to find something that appeals to you. Got a favorite character, favorite ride, favorite holiday, favorite sport? There's a pin for that! With new ones released on a weekly basis, not to mention the special editions, mystery boxes, and whatever else they scheme in the smoke-filled rooms of Disney Marketing, there are so many pins. Even if you could afford it, you'd never be able to collect them all.

And I don't know about you, but that's a big relief to me, because it means I am under no obligation to try.

I exaggerate. I wouldn't say I've ever been into pin collecting. If I see one I adore, I will usually get it, but that rarely happens these days. I mostly got it out of my system back in the mid-2000s—you know, around the time of the 50^th Anniversary, possibly the single most rewarding time to be a Disneyland fan in my lifetime—but that was enough for me to build up a reasonably sized collection.

I've never actually traded for a pin. Ever. I have one that I bought on eBay, because it was already out of production by the time I discovered that I really wanted it. Everything else in my stash came from a Disney theme park pin store, sometimes through the intermediary of a friend who gave it as a gift.

So I might not be the most qualified person to talk about this. But did you know there's no licensing process for blogging? Strange but true!

Actually, I'll come clean: this is mostly an excuse to show off my pin collection. Photos and explanations under the break!

Er...fair warning: these are not good photos. They were taken in the decidedly nonprofessional setting of my apartment, using the sub-amateur equipment that is my phone, against the completely ad-hoc backdrop of my coffee table. And I was not always able to wrangle the flash very well.

The Second Sense: Some Thoughts On Music Loops

To my U.S. fans, happy Labor Day! To my Canadian fans, Happy Labour Day! (My desk calendar at work lists them separately.)

I collect Disney theme park music and audio. If that surprises you...welcome to my blog! I have a huge archive for you to get caught up on! Anyway, this obsession extends not just to the soundtracks of individual attractions, but to the so-called “music loops” that provide atmosphere in open areas, attraction queues, and even shops. As far as I can tell, these started being used in 1971; presumably the first few were created for Magic Kingdom but also installed in Disneyland because why not?

Most loops run anywhere from 50 minutes to an hour before repeating, and traditionally they have been composed of instrumental music rather than vocal recordings. Recently, however, there has been a shift toward the use of actual songs* in music loops, often very well-known songs, and I think this is a bit of a mistake.

Firstly, instrumental music can readily fade into the background and provide atmosphere without demanding attention, while vocals (especially familiar ones) can be quite distracting. There's no way around it—we humans are social animals, our interactions are mostly mediated vocally, and thus human voices are more attention-grabbing than any other sound.

Secondly, songs tend to be more instantly recognizable than instrumentals (since most people listen to vocal recordings more often than they listen to instrumental music), and extremely recognizable music inevitably reminds people of the context from which they recognize it, rather than immersing them in the setting of the park as it is supposed to. (This video describes a similar problem with respect to film soundtracks that lean heavily on established pop music.) Some of the most lackluster music loops in the Disneyland Resort have to be the ones throughout Cars Land, which just sound like “oldies” radio stations and make me feel less like I'm in a small town in a fantastic world of living cars, and more like I'm in the car with my Baby Boomer parents controlling the radio.**

Armchair Imagineering: Disneyland Tribute Parade

I haven't talked much on this blog about the massive celebration Disneyland held for its 50^th anniversary, dubbed the Happiest Homecoming on Earth. Some, but not much.

It was really, really awesome. Sleeping Beauty Castle was decked out with jewels, banners, and five gorgeous crowns on the turrets, each representing a different decade of Disneyland history. Those who enjoyed “find them all” type games had no fewer than three to dive into, one involving photomosaics built from photos sent in by guests, one involving mouse-eared “50” logos, and one involving pressed pennies. There was a retrospective film with Steve Martin,* and the best fireworks show ever.** It was so memorable and, dare I say it, magical that...I... mayhavewrittenfanfictionaboutit.

There was also a parade.

I'm not saying Walt Disney's Parade of Dreams was bad, but when put up alongside the other Golden Anniversary offerings, it was...too normal, maybe? Except for the first and last units, which popped in appropriate ways, it was a pretty standard 21^st Century Disney parade: about half a dozen floats referencing different animated movies, accompanied by appropriately costumed dancers. Every so often, they would remember why they were there and have a “show stop” involving golden flags and a new cover of the song “Welcome” from Brother Bear.***

It's almost like two parades were cut in half and mashed together: a conventional parade promoting popular movies, and a really unique one for the 50^th anniversary. And I just think that for such a momentous occasion, the whole thing should have been unique. Should have been about Disneyland, like the fireworks were.

There was certainly precedent. The Silver Anniversary, in 1980, featured both a parade and a live stage show that celebrated the park in a land-by-land fashion. And you know me—I'm all about those themed lands. So consider this the parade we should have gotten for the Happiest Homecoming...with a bonus feature of also being applicable to any park anniversary...or just in general. Disneyland shouldn't need an excuse to celebrate itself.

Any similarities with the 1980 parade are, believe it or not, purely coincidental. But also pretty much to be expected.

It Came From the Fandom: That's From Disneyland!

The Disneyland-related benefits of living in Los Angeles do not stop with proximity to the resort itself. Because the park has remained primarily of interest to locals (as opposed to tourists like its Orlando counterpart), the hardcore fan community is pretty centralized to Southern California. As well, this city being a major hub—maybe the major hub—for the entertainment industry as a whole means that, to put it delicately, there are quite a few stinking rich people in this area. And that all means that, on those rare occasions when Disneyland just up and gets rid of something, it tends to end up in the possession of someone who lives nearby...and in the fullness of time, many of these things come back to the fan community in some way.

One of those ways is by being loaned for display to the Van Eaton Galleries, an art distributor and auction house headquartered in Sherman Oaks, CA, perhaps a 45-minute drive from Disneyland...and about five miles away from the residence of Yours Truly. I manage to drop in whenever they have a Disneyland memorabilia collection on the premises. The subsequent auctions are invariably too rich for my blood, but they let you take as many photos in the meantime as you like.

For the most recent exhibit, still (barely) ongoing, they've ramped things up. This time, the feature is the collection of Disneyland megafan Richard Kraft, including everything from concept art to decommissioned ride vehicles, and there weren't no way that was going to fit into their regular exhibition rooms or even the overflow space next door. So they've leased a two-story retail location* for a full-on, museum-style pop-up exhibit and gift shop, freely open to the public. The name of the exhibit? That's From Disneyland!

That name says it all, doesn't it? They certainly know who their audience is—people who know Disneyland's iconography by sight and need no other reason to love it.

What? Of course I've been there. What kind of question is that? Here are just a few of the nice photos I got...

Some Pet Peeves

As much as I love Disneyland, there are some things about it that just...bug me. They aren't travesties. They aren't even necessarily negatives, objectively speaking. They just bug me. This post is going to be somewhat ranty—a Disneyland Dilettantrum, if you will—but given the nature of most of the pet peeves, consider it a plea for additional creativity.

After-Action Report: So How Is It? (PotC Changes)

So it's happened. Pirates of the Caribbean, the Anaheim original, the bestest theme park ride ever made, has been altered. Forever.

I mean, it's not the first time or anything, but this renovation seems to have gotten people hotter under the collar than earlier ones. The 1997 revamp—the one that changed the post-auction scene so that the pirates were after food rather than...um...romance—garnered a lot of eye-rolling,* but I don't remember much in the way of sackcloth and ashes. Even the addition of all the movie franchise stuff in 2006 didn't have theme park fans tearing their hair out to quite the same extent. Was the original auction scene just that beloved? Did the fact that feminism (boogie boogie!) was involved get people's hackles up?

Regardless, what's done is done. And now that I've seen it, I can share some informed thoughts on the matter.

First, it must be noted that the redesign of the auction scene was not the only big change made to the ride. There were others...but they didn't involve feminism (boogie boogie!) and so attracted much less controversy. (Also one of them was uncontroversial to begin with because it's inarguably a net positive.)

Things You Can Do At Disneyland According to the Ads

Just a short, silly one this time. A full plate and hot, muggy weather have left me without much mental energy for producing one of my usual sterling* quality posts. This is an idea I've been rolling around in my head for a good while now, since it occurred to me that your basic Disneyland Resort ad spot is pretty twee and generic and doesn't really tell you much about what makes the place so great. This one from last year is pretty typical:

So what is there to do in the Disneyland Resort, according to this commercial? Here's my breakdown:

• Spin around for no reason in front of Sleeping Beauty Castle.
• Stare vacantly at the Castle.
• Compare ears with Minnie Mouse.
• Try on hats after you have already bought them.
• Put the moves on your woman.
• Slosh around in a Teacup.
• Cross lightsabers with a remarkably polite Darth Vader.
• Flail your arms while running toward the Astro Orbitor.
• Grin like a loon while riding Dumbo.
• Overreact to Newton's First Law of Motion.
• Lose your freaking mind because you saw a performer play the role of Elsa.
• Try to copy Captain America's pose even though he has a shield and you don't.
• Peer at an underwater camera with a friend.
• Hold hands with someone while lying in separate poolside lounges.
• Take phone photos of your friends, who are drinking.
• As a recent graduate, risk whiplash on the Silly Symphony Swings.
• Gawk at World of Color.

Similarly toned commercials in other years have offered different activities, such as:

• Be in the vicinity of a huge cluster of balloons.
• Run up to a squatting Princess wearing the same dress as you.
• Point excitedly at something off-camera while being carried on an adult's shoulders.
• Stick your arms up on a ride. Any ride. As long as it's outdoors.
• Hug Mickey Mouse**

It's a pity I can't seem to find these commercials on YouTube, because I can see these bullet points very clearly in my head. I'm pretty sure they've been re-shot with different actors over the years, while keeping that core of saccharine vagueness that defines the non-topical Disney Theme Parks commercial. (The topical ones—for specific holidays or new attractions or whatever—follow their own formats.)

I understand that there are good solid marketing reasons for making the commercials so generic, to say nothing of the good solid technical reasons for things like not using any clips of indoor attractions. But going into them would make this post long and dignified, and, well, re-read the first sentence. I've gotta say, though...it's no wonder that people who have never been there can't picture it with any accuracy. They're being teased with only the most nebulous of images.

What are some of your favorite Things to Do At Disneyland According to the Ads?

* Ha.

** Okay, this one's actually pretty cool.

After Action Report: Window Shopping

It’s certainly possible to experience Disneyland without walking down Main Street, USA, but a) it’s non-intuitive, b) it’s not recommended, and c) I hope you like trains. I doubt if one guest in a million even thinks to try it. I think we can safely say that within an acceptable margin of error, everyone who visits the Happiest Place on Earth gets to take a gander at one of its most unique features: the Main Street Emporium window displays.

In principle, the Emporium windows are as straightforward a case of synergy as you can get—scenes from Disney films converted into animated dioramas for cross-promotional purposes. In practice, it’s a rather odd choice—that’s a lot of effort to go to for what amounts to a film trailer. And why the Emporium rather than, I don’t know, a dedicated exhibit space? And why did they keep on doing it? And why do we, the guests, find these miniaturized movie moments so goshdarn compelling?

Armchair Imagineering: Four Concepts For Area Themes That Disney Should Absolutely Try

I've been getting more wildly speculative with my Armchair Imagineering posts lately. This is largely because I've had this blog for three-and-a-half years, with a pretty consistent weekly posting schedule, and I'm just plain running low on what you might call “standard” material. I've gotten all the Strong Opinions about rides past and present out of my system and I have to reach deeper into my imagination for topics.

The topic of this week's post is something I've touched on before but never devoted an entire post to: ideas for area themes that haven't been tried before, at least not by Disney. I don't have a proposal for a park to fit all these into, but for what they are, I hope you find them as intriguing as I do.

Off-Brand: Evermore

This week's post is a bit different. I'm not going to talk (much) about Disneyland. Or California Adventure. Or even Disney at all. I'm going...off-brand.

You see, there's something in the works up in Utah that could utterly transform theme parks as we know them. They're calling it Evermore (no relation, presumably, to the video game Secret of Evermore), and based on available information, it's not only unlike any theme park currently operating, at least in the U.S....it's unlike any theme park I ever expected to actually exist.

Evermore does not derive its appeal from the presence of popular mainstream media IP. Evermore makes its guests active participants in whatever stories it presents. Evermore is all about exploration and engagement, not passive absorption. Evermore has no rides...just beautiful scenery to walk through, and characters—not from movies or cartoons—to interact with. Seriously, just...watch the promotional video on the website, and skim through the pages. It's fairly mind-blowing that anyone decided to go ahead and do this.

It's like Legends of Frontierland...but an entire park...and all the time...and in a different genre. A genre much more dear to my heart, as it happens. Roleplaying as a citizen of an Old West town was immense fun, but the prospect of roleplaying as a citizen of a fantasy village is orders of magnitude more appealing on principle.

Also, its thematic emphasis will change with the seasons.

And there will be themed gardens.

And did I mention the Legends of Frontierland-like opportunities for character roleplaying?

This feels like something made especially for me. Or would, if it weren't two states away. But if it finds success, the concept will surely spread. Either we'll see more Evermore parks in more places, or other theme park entrepreneurs will take up the challenge, and that will change the entire landscape of the theme park industry.

This, in short, could be a real game-changer for the way theme parks are designed and operated. Obviously this type of experience won't suit everyone, but for those of us who enjoy it...it could very well surpass the more traditional type of parks that focus on rides and celebrity encounters.*

But how, you might be wondering, could such a place really compete with the big boys, especially in places where Disney, Universal, and Six Flags already hold territory? I can think of at least a couple of reasons:

• It's different. Never underestimate the power of novelty. Curiosity alone will be enough to get plenty of people through the gates at least once, and some of them are bound to find the new thing to their liking.
• Escapism is all the rage these days.** The push for “interactivity” in theme parks these days is in response to demand for more immersive adventures. (See also the increasing popularity of escape rooms.) The existing major players are actually at a disadvantage here—they have to square the circle of adding interactivity to what they already have, without violating their primary mission statement of making guests happy to accept whatever they want to flog them. Evermore and its hypothetical eventual imitators can simply provide that sort of environment from the get-go.
• This sort of concept inherently rewards and incentivizes repeat business. While other parks worry about being good enough to get people to come back, Evermore can confidently inform them that coming back is what makes it good.
• It might actually be less expensive. I don't have the facts and figures in front of me, but I'm willing to bet a huge chunk of a typical theme park's operating costs is tied up in the rides—R&D, construction, staffing, and maintenance. Simply by forgoing rides in favor of attractions with fewer moving parts, Evermore probably stands to save huge amounts of money...and can then pass those savings along to its guests.

So I think Evermore, and the Evermore model in general, has a fighting chance. And that can only be a good thing for theme parks in general. Not only will it diversify the landscape overall, but it will put a new source of pressure on existing theme parks to diversify their own offerings, maybe slowing down or even reversing the ever-increasing trend toward more elaborate thrill rides and more fashionable characters—Spacier Mountains and Mickier Mice, if you will.***

Disney? If you're listening, if your spybots are scanning this blog, pay close attention. If someone else beats you to this idea in Southern California, and if bullet #4 doesn't come to pass and it is expensive enough that I have to choose between you and it, then—and I cannot believe I am typing this—I might very well go with the LARP park. And I very much doubt that I am the only one. You, Disney, are the very best at what you do, but what you do is not necessarily the very best, if you follow.

With Evermore, someone might just have come up with something better.

* Because that, let's face it, is what a character meet-and-greet is.

** And who can blame us?

*** I'm sorry. Who am I kidding, no I'm not.

Armchair Imagineering: A California Adventure Worthy of the Name

Lastweek's post brought a momentary idle thought about an alternate version of California Adventure 1.0. It wasn't the sort of thing I could let slide, so this week, you get to see me develop it a bit further. I say “a bit” because, well, this is my first time designing a theme park almost completely from scratch. I'm keeping very little from the California Adventure we actually got; the area themes, attractions, and even layout are almost completely different. The upshot is that virtually none of the work has already been done for me and I've had to bash this out in time for the weekly deadline I have set myself.* So it's more of an outline than a fully detailed concept.

But enough excuses. Let's talk theme park!

Armchair Imagineering: Alternate Universe Castles

Sleeping Beauty Castle. Cinderella's Castle. Cinderella's Castle again. Sleeping Beauty's Castle en français. Generic Castle! If there's one thing that defines a Disneyland-style theme park, it's that gorgeous central castle. Fans even lump together the various Disneylands and Magic Kingdoms around the world under the umbrella name of “castle parks,” understood to mean not just that they contain a castle, but that they consist of several themed lands arranged radially around said castle. One of the first details many Armchair Imagineers hammer down when doing something like this is the identity and basic design of the castle: Which Princess has her name attached to it? How big is it? What (if anything) is inside it? Obviously, you can't envision such a park without a castle...

...or can you?

Years before the announcement of a Star Wars themed area dropped, fans would sometimes spitball ideas for an entire Star Wars theme park. I actually think such a park could work really well,* but the interesting thing is that more than one person defaulted to the “castle park” template in their design, with lands themed to various planets and other concepts in the Star Wars continuity, arranged around a central palace-like structure. Obviously this wasn't a storybook castle—it was the palace on Naboo, or the Galactic Senate meeting hall, or a grand Jedi temple.

So now I'm thinking...what else could the castle be, besides a castle? Part of the reason it's always a castle, of course, is that it doubles as the entrance to Fantasyland, where all the fairy tales get charmingly mashed together. So what if a different themed land claimed that place of honor? Let's try a few:

Imagineering Theory: Who is It For?

This question came up in the comments on my Niche Vs. Pastiche post, and I decided it deserved a post of its own. Who, when you get right down to it, is the target audience for Disneyland and other Disney theme parks? Is it the same for all of them? Should it be the same?

And of course, embedded in the is of the question is an implicit ought: Whom should the Imagineers attempt to court with their projects?

The Wonderful World of Color Schemes

Come to think of it, Disneyland has meant more to me than rides and characters since I was a child. I've been noticing the art on display there since middle school at least. One of the facets that always stood out to me was the iconic color schemes of certain attractions. We're talking, I would get bored in class and start doodling in those signature colors, because it reminded me of the park. (When I wasn't trying to draw the attractions outright, that is.) We're talking, if those particular combinations showed up anywhere else, it would give me the warm fuzzies.

So I figured I'd gush about them here, for your amusement. I may or may not have anything insightful to say about how the colors work on psychological level—that aspect was largely lost on me, for whom the Disneyland! connection overrode anything else.

Imagineering Theory: Niche Vs. Pastiche

In my ongoing quest to figure out just what makes the themes of theme parks tick, I've started to think that maybe the specificity of a given theme plays a big role in how well it's received. Is it better for a themed area to mimic a defined time and place, with accurate details, or does it work better when it plays things loosey-goosey?

Ultimately the answer is probably highly subjective. Some people need a high degree of verisimilitude to feel immersed in the fictional world of a theme park, while others are fine with a rough interpretation that engages their imagination to fill the gaps. Heck with it...some settings work better with a high degree of verisimilitude, while others work better rough. Let's call the two approaches niche and pastiche—the perfect specific fit vs. the patchwork. Plus they rhyme with each other!

Both approaches are very much in evidence in the Disneyland Resort. The ultimate niche area is surely Cars Land, which mimics its source material basically to perfection. Shall I post the two images again? I'm gonna post the two images again.

Meanwhile, the best example of pastiche is probably Frontierland,* which combines elements as disparate as a Mississippi River paddleboat, a saloon decorated with Texas longhorn racks, a Mexican town square, and a Gold Rush mining operation, yet makes it work because it all fits within the continuum of the “Old West” as understood by guests. Historical accuracy is not the point; Disneyland is not Colonial Williamsburg. The object is to get across a general idea, and Frontierland succeeds very well—none of its attractions feel like they don't belong to the overall area theme, which is more than you can say for some themed lands.

Seriously Though, What Is The Deal With This Fandom?

At the base of the sprawling magnolia tree out in front of Pirates of the Caribbean is a massive ship's anchor. I am very sorry not to have a photo I can show you, because it's quite striking. It appears to have lain there for quite some time—the tree is slowly enveloping it and the metal is rough with corrosion. Oddly enough, the anchor's rope is still attached, in perfectly fine condition, and if you follow it up through the branches of the tree and then over, you'll find that it originates from...

...Tarzan's Treehouse. Which was, of course, built from the wreckage of a ship.

This is one of those Disneyland details that I find absolutely enthralling—a literal connection between two entirely different attractions in two different lands, whose only real point of similarity is the presence of sailing ships. There is an excellent symbol-logic to it: the one thing these two attractions have in common, the thematic bridge between them, also serves as a physical bridge between them. It's almost mystical, isn't it? One can easily imagine a dream-scenario in which the themed lands are more profoundly separated than they are in fact, with no linking walkways, but the anchor rope remains and serves as the functional bridge between New Orleans Square and Adventureland—a reward for those daring enough to walk a tightrope or swing hand-by-hand underneath. What other surprising connections might or should exist in such a fanciful version of the Happiest Place on Earth?

Are you with me so far? Now for the real question. Why is no one else talking about this stuff?