Sentimental Paleontology: These Were Snowflakes

Once upon a time, Monsanto was the good guy. Hard as it may be to believe in an age where they are perhaps best known for inventing scary Frankenfood crops and then suing small family farms out of existence for the crime of happening to be located downwind of them, there was a time when they were mostly associated with neat stuff. Astroturf, for instance. “Space Age” fabrics. And, most dramatically of all, Disneyland attractions. Monsanto sponsored no fewer than four Tomorrowland attractions at various points during the park's first fifteen years.

Most fans have heard of the House of the Future, that marvelous 100% synthetic dwelling (located where Pixie Hollow is today) that had to be dismantled with blowtorches because the wrecking ball bounced right off it. Fewer have heard of Fashions and Fabrics Through the Ages, a much less ambitious exhibit that didn't last long. It was located right next to the Hall of Chemistry, which was actually the first Monsanto attraction, going right back to Opening Day. The two neighbors closed in September 1966—the chemical engineering giant had bigger and better plans for the building they occupied. On August 5, 1967, there debuted something special. Something amazing. An actual ride, this time, instead of the mere walk-throughs the company had sponsored before.

It was once my favorite ride. It was also the first ride I lost.

After-Action Report: “it's a small world” (Part 2)

“it's a small world” debuted to the world it celebrated at the New York World's Fair in 1964 and moved to Disneyland two years later. For most of its history, changes were minimal—a new color scheme here, a remastered soundtrack there, a different sponsor*—but starting in the Paul Pressler era, management decided it was okay to mess with it to a more significant extent. So how'd all that work out? Well...

After-Action Report: “it's a small world” (Part 1)

What would you say is the most overrated ride at Disneyland? That is, which one has the biggest gap between overall public acclaim and actual quality, with the quality on the low end of the equation?

I had to do some hard thinking to come up with my answer, but I think it's the Mad Tea Party.* It's an iconic ride, but iconic is not the same as impressive and if anything, it's a testament to the power of theming. Without its Wonderland morphsuit, it's just that old carnival standby, the Tilt-a-Whirl. An adorable paint job and familiar music have kept it successful for 60 years. Me, I've got better things to do with my Disneyland day than work a 90-second shift as the Amazing Human Spirograph.

Now, how about the most underrated ride? Which ride in the park is the most unjustly maligned by the public despite being in every way a classic? This one was a much clearer choice. The Mark Twain and Mr. Toad's Wild Ride both deserve longer lines than they get, but they lack the one trait a ride needs to be truly unfairly dismissed, and that is visibility. They aren't underrated so much as overlooked.

But there is one ride that has it all—an original concept, innovation, extraordinary artistic design, accessibility to all ages, an uplifting presence, and even its own theme song—yet routinely suffers outright mockery from the general public, from Disney's competitors, and from actual Cast Members.** That ride is the one, the only, “it's a small world.”

But you already knew that from the post title.

After-Action Report: Disneyland Forever

What do you think of my spiffy new banner? We can thank my sister for the artwork on that. Go, appreciate more of her Disney art! And maybe buy something from her on Redbubble!

Disneyland's Diamond Anniversary has hit the ground running, with special decorations and souvenirs, a new parade, and a new fireworks show (and that's just in Disneyland itself). Last week, I designated the Paint the Night Parade as the “Diamond” for the year 2015 on the grounds that of the big 60^th Anniversary offerings, I like it the best. But I didn't say why I like it the best, in particular why it wins out over the fireworks show, “Disneyland Forever.”