50 Bad Ideas for the Haunted Mansion's 50th

Anniversaries creep up on you sometimes, don't they? At least in this case, the subject of the anniversary has the excuse of always being somewhat creepy. By most counts, the adored Haunted Mansion hits the big Five-Oh on August 9^th of this year, and...people don't seem to be talking about it much. I suppose Galaxy's Edge is overshadowing it, both in the literal sense of Disney not doing much to promote it because they have this other thing going on, and Annual Passholders like myself (who would otherwise plan to turn up in droves to have our own promotion) having perused the park's calendar and found that our APs are blocked until at least mid-August in order to leave room for those massive Star Wars crowds.*

Or maybe people are talking about it, just not where I can hear them.

In any case, the chances that I will be able to properly celebrate this momentous event are looking pretty slim, so in lieu of that, here's a snarky list of 50 things that Disney and/or Doom Bugs** should definitely not do to mark the occasion.

After-Action Report: Pin Collecting/Trading

I don't know what it is about the pins. It might be simply that they're cute, affordable, don't take up much space, and come in such a staggering variety that you're bound to find something that appeals to you. Got a favorite character, favorite ride, favorite holiday, favorite sport? There's a pin for that! With new ones released on a weekly basis, not to mention the special editions, mystery boxes, and whatever else they scheme in the smoke-filled rooms of Disney Marketing, there are so many pins. Even if you could afford it, you'd never be able to collect them all.

And I don't know about you, but that's a big relief to me, because it means I am under no obligation to try.

I exaggerate. I wouldn't say I've ever been into pin collecting. If I see one I adore, I will usually get it, but that rarely happens these days. I mostly got it out of my system back in the mid-2000s—you know, around the time of the 50^th Anniversary, possibly the single most rewarding time to be a Disneyland fan in my lifetime—but that was enough for me to build up a reasonably sized collection.

I've never actually traded for a pin. Ever. I have one that I bought on eBay, because it was already out of production by the time I discovered that I really wanted it. Everything else in my stash came from a Disney theme park pin store, sometimes through the intermediary of a friend who gave it as a gift.

So I might not be the most qualified person to talk about this. But did you know there's no licensing process for blogging? Strange but true!

Actually, I'll come clean: this is mostly an excuse to show off my pin collection. Photos and explanations under the break!

Er...fair warning: these are not good photos. They were taken in the decidedly nonprofessional setting of my apartment, using the sub-amateur equipment that is my phone, against the completely ad-hoc backdrop of my coffee table. And I was not always able to wrangle the flash very well.

After Action Report: Window Shopping

It’s certainly possible to experience Disneyland without walking down Main Street, USA, but a) it’s non-intuitive, b) it’s not recommended, and c) I hope you like trains. I doubt if one guest in a million even thinks to try it. I think we can safely say that within an acceptable margin of error, everyone who visits the Happiest Place on Earth gets to take a gander at one of its most unique features: the Main Street Emporium window displays.

In principle, the Emporium windows are as straightforward a case of synergy as you can get—scenes from Disney films converted into animated dioramas for cross-promotional purposes. In practice, it’s a rather odd choice—that’s a lot of effort to go to for what amounts to a film trailer. And why the Emporium rather than, I don’t know, a dedicated exhibit space? And why did they keep on doing it? And why do we, the guests, find these miniaturized movie moments so goshdarn compelling?