Armchair Imagineering: Walt Disney Animation Holiday

We can definitely start thinking about Christmas music now.

Disney sure loves its holiday overlays. Between Halloween and Christmas, and counting parades and fireworks shows, there are no fewer than eleven holiday-specific attractions in the Disneyland Resort.* Likewise, quite a few music loops throughout the resort are seasonally replaced with Christmas-y versions.

However, there is one—attraction? sort of? let's call it an attraction-esque feature—wherein the music is much of the point, yet it has never been given this sort of temporary reskin. And this despite the fact that the feature in question is so modular that creating and executing a special version for the winter holiday season would be a snap. I am referring, of course, to the lobby area of Walt Disney Animation in California Adventure.

I've gushed about this spot before. It's just such a pleasant place to pass a half-hour or so until the display loops around. Given the extent to which my personal enjoyment of the Christmas season relies on the holiday's unique atmosphere, I can't help but feel this would only be enhanced if the lobby lined up with the holidays. The only snag is...is there enough material?

It's not that Disney never makes anything specifically for Christmas. Consider Mickey's Christmas Carol, or Prep and Landing, or even Beauty and the Beast: Enchanted Christmas. The problem from our point of view is that Walt Disney Animation focuses exclusively on theatrical features, on the output of Walt Disney Animation Studios and Pixar. And given that the point is to toot Disney's horn about its best offerings, things should probably stay that way. So where are we supposed to come up with a 30-minute loop's worth of Christmas footage when not a single entry in the Disney Animated Canon or the Pixar filmography counts as a Christmas movie?

Well, there are a few things we can do. The main one is that instead of celebrating an entire movie at a time, we can zero in on particular scenes, sequences and songs that are Christmas-related. Another is that we can then broaden our standards to include general winter imagery, which in American culture is associated almost exclusively with Christmas. I'll go ahead and say we can venture a little outside the WDAS/Pixar dyad, as long as we stay within the realm of theatrical feature animation. And finally...as a holiday special, maybe this loop doesn't have to be as long as the standard one. 15-20 minutes should suffice.

So what have we got to play with?

After-Action Report: GotG—Monsters After Dark

They should not have closed the Tower of Terror. I still hold that opinion. That ride was...basically perfect for its circumstances. It fit in exactly with Hollywood Land, it did an extraordinary job of building up atmosphere, it made guests the center of the story (“...in tonight's episode you are the star...”) and the effects were pretty dang...effective.

Guardians of the Galaxy—Mission: Breakout! is a distinctly inferior replacement. I have no animus against the GotG franchise itself—on the contrary, the movies are delightful and the second-worst thing about the firing of James Gunn is the wrench it throws into the production cycle of the third one*—but it's not the sort of thing that begs to be a theme park ride, and certainly not this theme park ride. It's awkwardly crammed into infrastructure that was designed for something completely different, it jettisons the Tower's beautiful melding of physical sets with digital effects in favor of a collection of movie screens, instead of making the guests the protagonists it makes them side characters in someone else's adventure, it has an unwieldy, overly wordy name, and the building is an eyesore.

Someone signed paperwork approving this design. Wrap your mind around that.

(Some people have the audacity to claim that this is an improvement on Tower of Terror. To them I say: On what grounds? Seriously, what does it do better? Also, aren't you the same people who were telling us we shouldn't be upset that it was being changed because it was still going to be a drop ride? Do you see the contradiction there?)

All that said, there is something at least moderately interesting about the ride's Halloween overlay, Guardians of the Galaxy—Monsters After Dark, and that's that it is framed as a direct sequel to Mission: Breakout! I don't think that's ever been done with Disney theme park attractions before—Star Tours: The Adventures Continue is framed as a prequel to the original Star Tours, what with the older Starspeeder model and glitchy prototype of Rex in the queue, but there is no sense in which the events of the one lead to the events of the other.**

Mission: Breakout! literally causes Monsters After Dark. The tower's generators get shut off during the former, and in the latter, the loss of power has freed all the dangerous creatures from confinement (hence the title). If nothing else, I appreciate the experiment. A Halloween overlay that only goes into effect at night (with the default version of the attraction operating during the day) is probably the only circumstance under which this conceit could really work, and I imagine it must be pretty cool if you manage to go on both in one day.

This is not to say that similar ideas couldn't work, especially if played subtlely. It could cross the borders of attractions or even lands. Imagine, for instance, if evidence were planted suggesting that the founder of the Jungle Cruise Co. got his startup capital mining gold in Big Thunder Mountain (before the disaster, of course). Obviously this would have to be used sparingly—Imagineering is doing something like this with the Society of Explorers and Adventurers, and the overall consensus from the snooty elitist fans is that it's not nearly as clever as the creators seem to think it is, doesn't really add anything to the attractions it touches, and discourages guest imagination by imposing One True Backstory on everything.

Anyway, back to Monsters After Dark: How is it as a ride? Eh, it's okay, I guess. It has all the same weaknesses (compared to Tower of Terror) as its non-Halloween/daytime counterpart, but some of the details are different. Pro: Since it is framed as a horror story rather than action-adventure, the queue is made creepier and more atmospheric, with reddish lighting and corrupted video transmissions playing on the big screen. Con: Instead of a more traditional eerie Halloween score or even the upbeat pop songs of Mission: Breakout!, our musical accompaniment is abrasive and repetitive heavy metal.***

I'm also not entirely sure it works as a Halloween overlay. Mission: Breakout! is already a ride that drops you at unpredictable intervals while various threatening situations play out on the screens and occasionally are staged to narrowly miss you. I'm not sure there is a way to make that scarier or more thrilling and aside from the unsettling elements in the queue, I am sure Monsters After Dark isn't such. It also doesn't reference Halloween by name, or use any of the holiday's specific imagery such as ghosts or pumpkins. If they decided to make it a year-round thing, it wouldn't exactly be out of place.

And that's about all I have to say on the matter. Should you check out Monsters After Dark, if you find yourself in California Adventure this Halloween season? Sure, why not. Unless you're legitimately afraid of heights/falling, darkness, monsters, fire, or Bradley Cooper.

Have a magnificent spooky holiday, readers mine. Next week...something different!

* The first-worst thing is that it was done at the behest of neo-Nazis. In case you were wondering.

** And that's not even addressing the fact that in aggregate, the events of ST:TAC are a stinking jumbled mess of shredded continuity.

*** I don't personally mind it, and it is composed by Tyler Bates, who also did the scores for both movies, but I imagine it must have fairly niche appeal among the theme park crowd.

Armchair Imagineering: Halloween Adventure

Many moons ago, I outlined a vision for a Disneyland Park going as hard (if not harder) for Halloween as it typically does for Christmas—unique decorations throughout every land, seasonal area music loops, nighttime attraction overlays, live entertainment, the works. None of it has actually come to pass, of course, but Halloween remains a highlight of the year, both at the Disneyland Resort and in the larger culture.

So now it’s the other park’s turn.

Like its older sister, California Adventure does a fair amount for Spoopy Day already, but there is tons of room for improvement, in terms of both refining what is there and adding more. One interesting aspect here is that the Halloween offerings only really kick in at nightfall, which is...certainly thematically appropriate! I might just let that stand.

Conversely, the one thing I find pretty irritating is the designation of Oogie Boogie as the park's official Halloween mascot. There's nothing wrong with a Halloween mascot per se,* but not only are there no specific links between California Adventure and The Nightmare Before Christmas or its characters, they don't actually do anything with this supposed mascot. His silhouette appears over the entrance gates and there are occasionally booming announcements in Ken Page's fabulous voice. That's it. There's no Oogie meet-and-greet tucked into an unassuming corner, no Oogie-based attraction overlay or stage skit.

So if we must have a mascot, then a) it should be a character with some legitimate connection to the park (such as perhaps?) and b) you should be able to tell that they're the mascot.

Anyway, let's get to the land-by-land breakdown. I admittedly have fewer solid ideas for this park than for the other one, mostly because...I was already an adult when California Adventure opened. I didn't grow up thinking about it; it doesn't live in my bones the way Disneyland does.

But let's see what I can do.

After-Action Report: Three Underrated Attractions

A loooooooong time ago, I did say that this blog wasn't just for the big fancy rides that everyone loves, or even the medium-sized fancy rides with Important History that the theme park enthusiasts love. Sometimes, it pays to appreciate the little things: the rides and attractions often overlooked by the general public, or enjoyed as a last resort, to fill some time before a FASTPASS or dinner reservation slot rolls around. This week, I'd like to direct your attention, briefly, toward three such attractions.

Kidnap the Magic: Another Themed Party Masterpost

(Continued from last week.)

In all my Kidnap the Magic posts, I haven't touched California Adventure once. So this should be interesting.

Disney California Adventure

The concept of a theme party celebrating California makes about as much sense as the concept of a theme park celebrating California...which is to say, it makes as much sense as you put into it. I have Definite Opinions about how California Adventure could have been a hit from the start, if only they'd kept in mind what they were actually building.* That said, California is still kind of a weird theme for a party...and a hard one to convey unless, like, you bake cookies in the shape of the state map or something. Making the theme of the party in fact a Disney theme park based on California just complicates matters further. There's no instantly recognizable set of icons comparable to the “Mickey Mouse + castle” I identified for Disneyland last week.

Imagineering Theory: The Art of Placemaking, Part 2

So I have this theory of sorts regarding how themed areas at Disney parks come across independent of whatever attractions they might boast. I think in order to “work” (however you might interpret that word), a themed area needs to a) represent an easily recognizable concept, and b) entice on the basis of said concept, before you even consider rides and such. Last week, I did a rundown of the lands of Disneyland to see how they stack up, and this week, the quest continues with California Adventure.

Sentimental Paleontology: Twilight Zone Tower of Terror

Well, here we are. The Great California Adventure Mistake of 2017 is live, with reports of a queue stretching all the way to the park's entrance.

Within five minutes of opening.

Every day so far.

Dammit, people. Why are you rewarding them for this? That thing should have opened to the sound of crickets, and not the kind that asks you to recycle your beverage containers.

Dude. This is actually a pin.

Nuts to y'all. I'm going to reminisce about what we lost.

Armchair Imagineering: Canine Stunt Spectacular Starring Bolt!

Somewhere along the line, Disney made the mistake of thinking it and Universal were in the same business.

Now you might be thinking: but of course they are, they both produce films and then turn those films into rides in their respective theme parks. That's like saying Coca-Cola and Budweiser are in the same business because they both manufacture carbonated beverages flavored with hops and packaged in aluminum cans. If you paid attention to that previous sentence, at this point you're scratching your head and going “But Coke isn't flavored with hops,” to which my reply is: Exactly.