After-Action Report: Pixar Fest

It's very rare that I manage to see new developments at the Disneyland Resort within the first week or two of launch. The San Fernando Valley isn't quite close enough to Anaheim for a casual hop over, and I don't actually own a car. So my trips need a bit of advance planning, and the timing doesn't often seem to work out for experiencing something while it's brand-new. This was an exception—I had some time off of work, and my sister had a day off, and so we managed to hit the place up on a Wednesday.

The weather was perfect, the crowds were as light as they are ever likely to be anymore, and...Pixar Fest had just started up the previous weekend.

Man, they don't make summer events like they used to, do they?

Like I've said before, I've got nothing against Pixar. They produce quality movies.* Coco was one of the best things I've seen in years. But as I've also said before, Pixar is not a theme. There is not much uniting the Pixar movies apart from them all being made by the same studio; objectively speaking, a summer celebration dedicated to Pixar is no more coherent than if they tossed all of the films in the Disney Animated Canon into a hat and drew fifteen at random.

But it is what it is. So what is it? How is it? Is it tolerable?

Eh, I guess.

Imagineering Theory: Thinking Beyond “Rides”

This is probably going to be a controversial opinion, but I think theme park fans get too hung up on rides.

No, not attractions. It's not a theme park—or any kind of leisure destination—without attractions. I do mean rides. I think many theme park fans obsess too much over, specifically, the sorts of attractions that physically move you around, to the point where the other sorts are rarely even discussed in the context of worthwhile things to do during a visit. Sometimes it goes further, to a veiled assertion that the more extreme the movement, the objectively “better” the ride is, but for now I'll stick to the simple dichotomy of ride vs. non-ride.

Isn't that nuts? To care only about rides and not about the many other kinds of attractions boasted at Disney theme parks? These places are known for so much more, but when was the last time you saw an Armchair Imagineer (besides me) attempt to design a parade or a show or even just a nice little nook to rest your feet?

Is it just that the potential variety of rides is more obvious? Do people have a hard time thinking up new twists to put on the other categories of attractions? Well, what kind of Dilettante would I be if I didn't have some ideas in that regard?

After-Action Report: The Main Street Electrical Parade

This past Tuesday, it was my very great privilege to experience, for the first time in over 20 years, one of the true classics of Disneyland's live entertainment traditions: the Main Street Electrical Parade!

Yes, I had seen the iteration that appeared for a few summers in California Adventure...but it wasn't right, you know? I'm not talking about the digitally remastered soundtrack, revised floats, or even the fact that they had Tinker Bell in the lead instead of the Blue Fairy. It was that it was supposed to be the Main Street Electrical Parade. The full name was fundamental. Transplanting it to a park without a Main Street couldn't help but cheapen it a little...and that's not even taking into consideration the awkward changes to the recorded introduction.*

Now—for the time being—the Electrical Parade has come home. It's about damn time.

But what is it that makes this parade so beloved? There is no shortage of awesome parades in Disneyland's history, from timeless charmers like the Christmas parades to audaciously hip experiments like Totally Minnie or The World According to Goofy. What is about this one that makes it the darling of veteran parkgoers such as myself? It can't just be that it's the park's most long-lived parade, because it wouldn't have been allowed to run so long if it hadn't been a major hit in the first place. The Main Street Electrical Parade is a Disneyland institution, as much as Space Mountain or “it's a small world” or complaining about how long the lines are. All those years it was absent felt more like a mistake than like normal parade turnover.

Anything lampooned by The Simpsons is a cultural institution by definition.

Armchair Imagineering: Holiday Fantasmic!

The Disneyland Resort sure loves to celebrate Christmas. Not only do thematically specific decorations go up in most areas of both parks, but a handful of attractions get made over into holiday-specific versions of themselves.* The most notable might be the shows and live entertainment offerings, nearly all of which, from the humble and homey Dapper Dans to the extravagant fireworks display, are in holiday mode at this time of year. Disneyland has hosted any number of Christmas parades over the years. Across the Esplanade, World of Color is on its second holiday version. But there’s one live show that has so far bucked the trend: Fantasmic!

It’s not hard to see why—Fantasmic! is possibly the most complex and intricate performance in theme park history. Not only does it involve multiple types of live performers and special effects, but it was designed from start to finish to be a satisfying whole. It tells a complete story with a three-act structure (something almost never done in theme park entertainment), and the musical score is as much a symphony as a medley. It's amazing that something like this was achieved once; doing it all over again with a more specific theme would be almost unfathomably difficult.

But what is Armchair Imagineering for, if not indulging in these wild Blue-Sky ideas? Come brainstorm with me...

(Well, okay, technically for now you're going to read while I brainstorm, but I welcome any and all contributions in the comments.)

Armchair Imagineering: Hooray For Halloween Parade

The first Mickey's Halloween Party of the year is this Friday. I got to go to that thing in 2013. It wasn't as mind-blowing as the advertising (and price tag) would have you believe, but it was fun enough. There honestly wasn't that much going on that there wouldn't be on any normal Disneyland evening, it's just that on this occasion, it was Halloween-themed. Speaking as a grown-up, the best part was getting to wander around Disneyland in a costume. (I was the “it's a small world” Clock Tower.) The “candy stations” were nothing to write home about and I don't usually go in for rave dancing.

And then there was the unique live entertainment, which I would describe as a mixed bag. The “Cadaver Dans”—i.e. The Dapper Dans with ghoulish makeup and a spooky song repertoire—were a lot of fun. The “Halloween Screams” fireworks show is fantastic, and I think it's practically criminal that they only show it at the party. The parade, though—”Mickey's Costume Party Cavalcade”—was rather disappointing. It just felt very thrown-together, with cheap floats, uninspired music and dancing, and an overall lack of imagination and effort.

Orlando's Magic Kingdom, by contrast, has a Halloween parade—Mickey's Boo-To-You Halloween Parade—that's pretty dang slick..but rather than simply wish to have theirs imported over here,* I thought I'd Armchair Imagineer a better one from scratch! Inspired by the wonderful A Christmas Fantasy Parade, I would make this parade an elaborate, tightly themed spectacle that really brings across the spirit of the holiday in all its facets (or at least all the facets that are family-friendly enough for Disneyland). Accordingly, rather than spamming the most marketable characters, I would choose characters and IPs that actually reflect aspects of Halloween...while still including plenty of crowd-pleasers so the average guest can still find a favorite!

Disneyland Dilettante readers, I give you...the Hooray For Halloween Parade!

Armchair Imagineering: Canine Stunt Spectacular Starring Bolt!

Somewhere along the line, Disney made the mistake of thinking it and Universal were in the same business.

Now you might be thinking: but of course they are, they both produce films and then turn those films into rides in their respective theme parks. That's like saying Coca-Cola and Budweiser are in the same business because they both manufacture carbonated beverages flavored with hops and packaged in aluminum cans. If you paid attention to that previous sentence, at this point you're scratching your head and going “But Coke isn't flavored with hops,” to which my reply is: Exactly.

After-Action Report: Mickey's Soundsational Parade

Good evening! Can everyone in the back hear me okay?

Welcome to the first annual presentation of the Marchie Awards! Our purpose tonight is to honor excellence in the art of theme park parades. By an outlandish coincidence, all of our nominees for this ceremony are units in the same parade: Mickey's Soundsational Parade at Disneyland Park, Anaheim, California! Let's meet them! In order of appearance:

See Ya Real Soon: Fantasmic!

Here at the Disneyland Dilettante, I like to categorize my posts. Among numerous others, I have After-Action Reports for discussing currently available attractions and Sentimental Paleontology for my reminiscences about extinct ones. And now, with the Jungle Cruise closed for refurbishment and the Star Wars area under construction, which in turn is causing an 18+ month shutdown of the Rivers of America and the Disneyland Railroad, it seems like a good time to introduce See Ya Real Soon, for all those attractions and features that—for one reason or another—aren't open this week, but will be in the foreseeable future. And what better first example than the prize we got for our patience the last time the river underwent massive changes...the fabulous, the fearsome, the phantasmagorical Fantasmic!?

Buckle up, readers, because it's about to get...personal...

After Action Report: A Christmas Fantasy Parade

Do you remember what Christmas was like when you were little? About seven or so? When snow was only for playing in (and not shoveling), when you could not imagine ever getting tired of eating cookies, when new toys were intoxicating? Do you remember when you wrote actual letters to Santa Claus and then lay awake at night on Christmas Eve to see if you could catch him in the act?

Do you remember?

Someone obviously does...because someone distilled those memories, that feeling, and used the concentrate as the basis for “A Christmas Fantasy,” Disneyland's seasonal parade since 1994.

60 Disneyland Diamonds: 1996-2005

No fancy greeting this time. Just some links to the previous posts:

60 Diamonds Intro

60 Diamonds: 1956-1965

60 Diamonds: 1966-1975

60 Diamonds: 1978-1985

60 Diamonds: 1986-1995

And now, on with the next set!

After-Action Report: Mickey and the Magical Map

Let me tell you, a lot of us were worried we were never going to get our theatre back.

After a rocky start in the Eighties as Videopolis (mild-mannered performance venue by day—New Wave dance club by night!), the amphitheater across the way from “it's a small world” had settled well into being the Fantasyland Theatre. It was a perfect fixture to host musical shows inspired by Disney's animated movies (and sometimes network TV series) and suck some of those crowds off the walkways for around 25 minutes at a time. And some of those shows were great. Anyone else remember Animazement? The one from 1998 that was basically a love letter to the Disney Renaissance up until that point? Or how about the Snow White musical with the Magic Mirror as narrator?

But then 2006 arrived, and with it the “Year of a Million Dreams” promotion (which wound up lasting more like 2.5 years). The talking heads in charge reasoned that the #1 dream for little girls at Disneyland is being a princess, so the Fantasyland Theatre was revamped into the Princess Fantasy Faire. It should be noted that this was the first time the Disney Princess franchise had been promoted via an attraction (as opposed to a shop) since the brand was launched in 2000. It wasn't inherently terrible—there was a lot for kids to do there, and there was a cute little show attached in the form of the “Royal Coronation Ceremony”—but when the YoaMD ended, taking the Ceremony with it...the Princess Fantasy Faire stayed. Long-time fans of the park found this...let's be diplomatic and say suboptimal. As part of a temporary promotion that was all about making your dreams come true for a day, the Princess Fantasy Faire was all right. As a permanent attraction replacing the theatre, it was a lot less lovable.

Fortunately, wisdom prevailed. In 2013, an underutilized patch of land off the Plaza Hub was converted into a permanent Fantasy Faire, and the Princess offerings moved there. The Fantasyland Theatre was free to reclaim its name and re-open with a new show: "Mickey and the Magical Map."