Imagineering Theory: Blending Themes

Last week's post included a link to FoxxFur's amazing article about border areas at Disneyland and how gracefully or ungracefully (usually the latter, though not necessarily to the park's detriment) the Imagineers manage the transitions. If you didn't read it then, I urge you to do so now, as it is a scrupulously well-documented analysis of design details you probably never noticed before, even though the whole point is how much they stick out compared to their equivalents in Magic Kingdom.

But it got me thinking: Could the transitions be made less awkward?* Perhaps the main reason Disneyland has so many abrupt boundaries between themed lands is the lack of space for subtle “fade” effects, but here's the thing: themes are not particulate. They can be tweaked and blended. I doubt if there are any two themes or genres in all imagination that are so dissimilar that they have no points in common and no potential to be hybridized.

So this post is my attempt to do that with all the border areas at Disneyland—all the places where two or more themes collide. It probably wouldn't be possible to retrofit the actual Disneyland with these ideas, so this is more of a what-if exercise.

Before I really get into it, I want to review my base material: what are the themes that need to be blended? This is not an exhaustive analysis of all the themes and sub-themes in Disneyland, just a quick summary. The nuances will be addressed when I start looking for ways to remix them.

Main Street, USA: A small American town around the turn of the 20^th Century. Except for the period setting, about as “generic” as can be.

Adventureland: Tropical wilderness, barely explored by Westerners.

New Orleans Square: New Orleans ca. 1925 or so, plus supernatural elements. Say, is “historical urban fantasy” a thing? I feel like it should be.

Critter Country: Rural/wilderness area inhabited by anthropomorphic animals.

Frontierland: The Old West—settlers, “cowboys and Indians,” all-American wilderness, fairly realistic.

Fantasyland: Fairy tales and magical children's stories, especially if they've been made into animated Disney movies.

Mickey's Toontown: The Golden Age of cartoons.

Tomorrowland: Futurism and science-fiction.

Now, let's see what kinds of stews we can make from these ingredients!

After-Action Report: New Christmas Decs!

Short post this time—I've been a bit sick and the holiday tasks are piling up as it is! But I did manage to fit in a visit to the main park recently, and I took a few pictures of some lovely decorations that have been added this year.

I'll begin in Frontierland, which has been putting up Christmas decorations for quite some time (as described in this post). But these ones are new, and have a lot of character. It's not just the ornaments that are unique to each—the evergreen bases to which they are attached vary from post to post, as if each was assembled from scratch by a different person who used whatever they had on hand or could easily find. The highlight has to be the single boot, which is a perfect Old West stand-in for a Christmas stocking:

From there, we move to Fantasyland, where...I don't want to alarm anyone, but they have finally started putting up decorations in the Fantasyland Courtyard. I speculated in the post linked above about what that might hypothetically look like, but the reality turned out to be far more restrained than what I was imagining. You could put these up in your house without anyone batting an eye:

Yes, those are apples on the decoration for Snow White.

It almost feels like a beta test, like maybe they plan on expanding these in years to come. They are a little sparse for the medieval castle environment, I think.

Around this time most years, I put the blog on a little year-end hiatus so I can focus on my holiday obligations and brainstorm ideas for the new year. But I'm finding myself in a bit of a quandary this time around...I think I'm running out of topics to write about! I am coming to the end of my fourth straight year of Disneyland blogging, having maintained a pretty faithful weekly schedule for most of that time. Even a lifelong just-short-of-obsessed fan like me has to run dry eventually, right?

There are a few things I don't want to do. I don't want to start spacing the posts out more, for fear my eternally busy schedule squeezes out my motivation to maintain the blog altogether. And I don't want to let it devolve into more of this—just collections of recent photos detailing minutiae like crowd levels, construction progress, and maintenance hiccups. I want to keep this a thoughtful blog.

I might not be averse to expanding my subject matter. Reviewing other theme parks is probably off the table for now for financial reasons, but I occasionally touch on the subject of Disney movies, and perhaps I could go into more detail on my thoughts in that area.

Ideally, though, I would keep my focus on the Disneyland Resort. So I put it to you...what would you like to see me write about that I haven't yet? Any attractions, past or present, you'd like to see my take on? Principles of theme park design I should address? General questions I should answer?

I'll give you the next...oh, three weeks or so, to think about it. Until then, Happy Holidays to my few but loyal readers, and keep dreaming!

Armchair Imagineering: Disneyland Tribute Parade

I haven't talked much on this blog about the massive celebration Disneyland held for its 50^th anniversary, dubbed the Happiest Homecoming on Earth. Some, but not much.

It was really, really awesome. Sleeping Beauty Castle was decked out with jewels, banners, and five gorgeous crowns on the turrets, each representing a different decade of Disneyland history. Those who enjoyed “find them all” type games had no fewer than three to dive into, one involving photomosaics built from photos sent in by guests, one involving mouse-eared “50” logos, and one involving pressed pennies. There was a retrospective film with Steve Martin,* and the best fireworks show ever.** It was so memorable and, dare I say it, magical that...I... mayhavewrittenfanfictionaboutit.

There was also a parade.

I'm not saying Walt Disney's Parade of Dreams was bad, but when put up alongside the other Golden Anniversary offerings, it was...too normal, maybe? Except for the first and last units, which popped in appropriate ways, it was a pretty standard 21^st Century Disney parade: about half a dozen floats referencing different animated movies, accompanied by appropriately costumed dancers. Every so often, they would remember why they were there and have a “show stop” involving golden flags and a new cover of the song “Welcome” from Brother Bear.***

It's almost like two parades were cut in half and mashed together: a conventional parade promoting popular movies, and a really unique one for the 50^th anniversary. And I just think that for such a momentous occasion, the whole thing should have been unique. Should have been about Disneyland, like the fireworks were.

There was certainly precedent. The Silver Anniversary, in 1980, featured both a parade and a live stage show that celebrated the park in a land-by-land fashion. And you know me—I'm all about those themed lands. So consider this the parade we should have gotten for the Happiest Homecoming...with a bonus feature of also being applicable to any park anniversary...or just in general. Disneyland shouldn't need an excuse to celebrate itself.

Any similarities with the 1980 parade are, believe it or not, purely coincidental. But also pretty much to be expected.

Armchair Imagineering: Alternate Universe Castles

Sleeping Beauty Castle. Cinderella's Castle. Cinderella's Castle again. Sleeping Beauty's Castle en français. Generic Castle! If there's one thing that defines a Disneyland-style theme park, it's that gorgeous central castle. Fans even lump together the various Disneylands and Magic Kingdoms around the world under the umbrella name of “castle parks,” understood to mean not just that they contain a castle, but that they consist of several themed lands arranged radially around said castle. One of the first details many Armchair Imagineers hammer down when doing something like this is the identity and basic design of the castle: Which Princess has her name attached to it? How big is it? What (if anything) is inside it? Obviously, you can't envision such a park without a castle...

...or can you?

Years before the announcement of a Star Wars themed area dropped, fans would sometimes spitball ideas for an entire Star Wars theme park. I actually think such a park could work really well,* but the interesting thing is that more than one person defaulted to the “castle park” template in their design, with lands themed to various planets and other concepts in the Star Wars continuity, arranged around a central palace-like structure. Obviously this wasn't a storybook castle—it was the palace on Naboo, or the Galactic Senate meeting hall, or a grand Jedi temple.

So now I'm thinking...what else could the castle be, besides a castle? Part of the reason it's always a castle, of course, is that it doubles as the entrance to Fantasyland, where all the fairy tales get charmingly mashed together. So what if a different themed land claimed that place of honor? Let's try a few:

Armchair Imagineering: The Ideal Kingdom

It's inevitable. Dabble in Armchair Imagineering long enough, and sooner or later you'll get the urge to try your hand at designing an entire park. There are two main ways people go with such a project—either they attempt to put together their personal Platonic ideal of a Disneyland-style “Kingdom” park,* or they craft their own answer to Universal Islands of Adventure with a bunch of Disney's purchased IPs.

This is an example of the former.

It's times like this when I really wish I could draw well. I would love to be able to create a tentative map of my vision here, or some concept art for the original attraction ideas. But alas, that gift is not mine, so you and I are stuck with text.**

My goals here are severalfold. I wish to distill my 40 years of Disneyland memories into something that hits all the sweet spots of both my nostalgia and my current tastes, while also having things to offer the younger generation of fans. I want to iron out some of the wrinkles that have resulted from decades of making-it-up-as-they-go-along, while still preserving the charm that this methodology has produced. I want a park that's chock-a-block with things to do, at all levels of intensity, while still having room to grow. I want immersive worlds that are just complete enough to prompt guests to fill in the blanks themselves. I want to get back to the principle that the guest experience is primary.

A great deal of what follows will be intimately familiar. Hopefully, enough of it won't be to constitute a transformative improvement. Or at least to be intriguing.

After-Action Report: Three Underrated Attractions

A loooooooong time ago, I did say that this blog wasn't just for the big fancy rides that everyone loves, or even the medium-sized fancy rides with Important History that the theme park enthusiasts love. Sometimes, it pays to appreciate the little things: the rides and attractions often overlooked by the general public, or enjoyed as a last resort, to fill some time before a FASTPASS or dinner reservation slot rolls around. This week, I'd like to direct your attention, briefly, toward three such attractions.

Sentimental Paleontology: Legends of Frontierland

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Disneyland is primarily a locals' park. Management may not like it—they might prefer a scenario where they can keep selling the same old thing to a new batch of rubes every week instead of constantly racking their brains trying to keep an experienced and therefore discerning crowd entertained—but it is what it is. If you ask me, it's for the best. Without the need to impress repeat visitors, would we have gotten the Indiana Jones Adventure with its three potential “treasures” and unpredictable vehicle motion? Without those picky Annual Passholders making up such a large percentage of the crowd, would there be any incentive to keep changing up the parades, fireworks, and live entertainment? If the average guest didn't know where the good off-property restaurants were, would Management bother to ensure quality food options inside the park(s)?

And sometimes, that drive to keep the locals enthralled produces results that are just plain...well, enthralling. Pure magic. In the summer of 2014, they achieved just that, and in perhaps the unlikeliest of ways, with a temporary attraction called Legends of Frontierland.

Kidnap the Magic: A Themed Party Masterpost

With a new year comes new calendars...and for many people, the activity of marking off portions of them for holidays and vacations. It is the former that concerns us today.

Under my Kidnap the Magic tag, I have offered several ideas for party themes based on Disneyland attractions, most of them keyed to specific holidays or seasonal events. It's been quite a while, because I ran out of suitably thematic holidays well before I ran out of possible themes. But I still want to fill in those gaps, hence this post: a one-stop shop for all your basic guidelines for planning themed parties based on the Happiest Place on Earth.

For each area in the resort, I'll outline a few different aspects. Themes refers to party themes, not park themes, and basically boils down to which section(s) of the big-box party store you should scour for decorations and the like. These are often seasonally specific, but no worries—it's not unusual to be loved by anyone for a large store to stock some of everything year-round, and a whole lot of whatever is coming up soon on the calendar. Food and Music should be pretty self-explanatory. And finally Disney Movies you can tap for imagery, party entertainment, or other inspiration, covering not just those movies which actually tie in to the local attractions, but also those with a similar setting or vibe. Unusually for me, I'll address both animated and live-action films, because not to do so...would be pretty silly, as we'll see.

Armchair Imagineering: Halloween Music Loops

As the Halloween season gets into gear, I naturally start thinking about how Disneyland could improve their Halloween offerings. If you've been following me for a while, you might remember this post. Or perhaps not. Either way, this week I've decided to focus on an element of seasonal theme parkery* that I only touched on back then: music loops.

The great majority of themed areas in the Disneyland Resort include some sort of background music loop that can be heard throughout all or part of the area. During the winter holiday seasom, AKA “Christmas,” several areas play a special seasonal loop in lieu of the normal one. So with Halloween becoming as big a deal as Christmas in terms of decorations, live entertainment, etc....why not shore it up with music?

Part of the problem, of course—maybe the biggest part—is that there isn't a lot of immediately recognizable “Halloween music” out there. Sure, there are a few hits that all the radio stations play in October—“Monster Mash” by Bobby Pickett, “Thriller” by Michael Jackson, and “Dead Man's Party” by Oingo Boingo being some of the most noteworthy—but nothing like the dozens of standard Christmas hymns and carols, which get covered and re-arranged into every conceivable musical genre so that no theme park music designer could fail to find what they're looking for.

So is this a fruitless project, then? Of course not. I would hardly have taken it far enough to post if it were. While the “canon” of Halloween music is very slim indeed and might seem too contemporary for the various historical and fantastical realms present in Disneyland, a little research turns up dozens of songs about ghosts and goblins, witches and vampires, and assorted things that go bump in the night, going right back to the Jazz Age and even earlier.

So here, in (relative) brief, are some ideas for music that could be used to enhance Disneyland's Halloween seasonal flair!

After-Action Report: The Frontier Re-Opens!

“...a sound broke out over the gently rippling water. In fact it was a sound that they had heard several times since entering Frontierland without thinking anything of it…because never during fifty years of their experience, except for comparatively brief stretches involving maintenance, had Frontierland been without it. It was almost background noise, a sound they took for granted. Its absence would have been a deafening clamor.

It was the low, mellow blast of the steam whistle on a paddlewheel-driven riverboat.”

– Crowns of the Kingdom Chapter 6, “Weirdness in the Wild West”

It may be the height of arrogance to quote one's own writing, but while planning this post and trying to come up with the best way to explain what it has been like to be without the Mark Twain—and the Columbia and the Disneyland Railroad and the rest—since January of 2016, I realized that...I already had. Their absence has been a deafening clamor. Disneyland isn't quite itself without these 100% classic attractions...particularly the steamboat and steam train, Opening Day originals.

It's been especially disconcerting because we've known the whole time that when they re-opened, these rides would be drastically—and permanently—altered. New construction around the edges of the park has affected the Disneyland Railroad before, of course, but never quite on this scale. We've been hearing a lot about how the train now turns left for the first! time! ever! as if that were something genuinely exciting. Me? I wasn't sure anything could make up for the fact that Tom Sawyer Island and the Rivers of America themselves have been truncated in order to free up land for Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge.

So now that I've seen it all...how is it? So glad you asked...

Imagineering Theory: The Art of Placemaking, Part 1

So a couple weeks ago, I was not entirely critical of the announced plan to remake Paradise Pier into “Pixar Pier.” Even though I assume this will ultimately end up meaning “basically the same thing but with pictures of characters everywhere,” it at least has the potential to wind up marginally more interesting than what we currently have, which is perhaps best described as “I dunno, carnival rides and stuff—hey look! Mickey Mouse!” I know there's supposed to be some sort of “Victorian seaside amusement park” motif going on, but honestly? It doesn't come across that well. It's going to be hard to convince me that it's the 1890s while simultaneously going “Hey look! Mickey Mouse!”

But let's be real for a moment here...unless I have radically misunderstood John Lasseter's intentions, “Pixar Pier” is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a proper area theme. It occurs to me that one of the problems with current design directions in the Disney parks is that a fundamental misunderstanding of what area theming is, has taken root among both designers and fans. People have somehow gotten the idea that area theming is nothing more than some rides that are placed close together and have something in common (and that “something” can be nothing more than a brand).

But it's not, is it? Proper area theming is sometimes referred to with another word: placemaking. I have never seen this word used in any other context and have no idea when or by whom it was coined, but it's such a perfect encapsulation of what good area theming does: it makes a place. And I believe that the success or failure of a themed area as a whole hinges on whether or not guests a) recognize that place, and b) consider it a good place to be, outside of the attractions.

Can we get any additional insight by examining the existing themed areas of the Disneyland Resort and seeing how they hold up? Well, there's only one way to find out, isn't there?

The Second Sense: A Disneyland Playlist, Part 2

The mission: To assemble the perfect Disneyland playlist, referencing every themed land and major attraction, using only songs and instrumental music that a relative newbie to the hobby would be able to readily find. There's no need to dive into limited-edition multi-disc park soundtracks, the “Disneyland Forever” archives, or the murky depths of torrent streaming.*

Last week, I covered Main Street, USA and Adventureland. This week...the mission continues!

Beyond Blue Sky: Collectible Disneyland Minifigs, Part 2

Last week, I had a purely self-indulgent post where I imagined a wave of Collectible LEGO Minifigures consisting of Disney film and TV characters representing the themed lands of Disneyland. This week, I continue to pamper myself by imagining a wave of Collectible LEGO Minifigures consisting of characters more specific to Disneyland: characters originating in the Disney theme parks, prominent Cast Member concepts, and even a few guests.

I suppose a reiteration of the rules is in order here:

• I have to come up with 18 concepts for minifigs.
• There will be two minifigs per land (including the upcoming Star Wars area—although I had to break this sub-rule last time), one male and one female.
• Each minifig must have an identifiable connection to the land where I assign them, not just fit in a general thematic sense. This should be easier to manage here than in last week's project, since I'm using characters specific to the parks.
• Each minifig must be original. Last time, that meant no repeats of characters who have already been made into minifigs. This time, it's going to be even harder; LEGO has produced minifigs for a vast variety of themes over the years, many of which cover similar ground to the themed areas at Disneyland.
• Not a rule as such, but more of a consideration—when crafting the character set last week, I made sure to think about the desires of LEGO collectors and Disney fans who aren't so interested in the parks per se. In other words, even though my goal was a minifig set specifically tied to Disneyland, I wanted it to be something that people outside that narrow fandom could enjoy on its own merits. I'm aiming for the same thing with this one—these should be minifig concepts that anyone can find a use for.

Think I can do it again? Let's find out!

Beyond Blue Sky: Collectible Disneyland Minifigs, Part 1

I'm going to talk about LEGO again. If that's not your thing, please examine the sidebar for other websites you might enjoy for the next two weeks.

Remember last year when I was getting all excited about LEGO minifigures of Disney characters and the Cinderella Castle set and the prospect of more theme park sets to come?

Well…we haven’t had any more theme park sets, but the character minifigs were enough of a hit that we expect to get another wave of them. The speculation about which characters will be included in Round Two has been madder than a Tea Party…but you can probably guess where my mind is going in all this. As long as we're going to have collectible Disney minifigs...why not collectible Disneyland minifigs?

Think they wouldn't sell? I beg to differ. I can't really think of any minifigure concept that is so specific to Disneyland as to hold no interest for the adult LEGO fan community at large. “Disneyland minifigs” potentially fall into two main categories: 1) Disney characters, which have already proven their appeal, and 2) general characters, whose potential appeal can be demonstrated by...basically all the other non-licensed waves of collectible minifigures.

To further illustrate what I mean, I offer this hypothetical set of minifigs designed to satisfy fans of both Disneyland and LEGO, so that the true breadth of their appeal will be evident.

In fact...I'm going to offer two sets: one for each of the two main categories mentioned above. I'll cover the pre-existing Disney character this week and the others next week.

Kidnap the Magic: The Art of the Disneyland Font (Part 2)

So I called a general meeting of the blog staff, which was pretty easy since this is a one-woman show. We—that is, I—came to the conclusion that we should move the weekly post from Sundays to Mondays. The benefit to us—me—is that if I'm running a little low on inspiration, I have the whole weekend to cram instead of just Saturday. The benefit to you is that this post is up now, instead of six days from now.

I am assuming, of course, that anyone is still here. So...is anyone still here? Sorry to leave you all hanging like that, but you know how the holidays can be. What was I talking about again? Oh, right—fonts you can use for Disneyland-related printed projects!

Imagineering Theory: The Frontierland Problem

BREAKING NEWS: Moana is fantastic. Go see it.

We Disneyland fans often enjoy discussing the Tomorrowland Problem—i.e., how do you go about portraying “the future” in an age when technology progresses as quickly as it does in this day and age? What you don't hear about much is the Frontierland Problem, which I will identify in a moment. To the best of my knowledge, this phrase doesn't even exist as a widely recognized term for a phenomenon that most guests may not think about, or want to.

The Frontierland Problem, in brief, is this: How do you depict a superficially exciting but very ugly phase in American history in a theme park setting, without either whitewashing the nasty parts or bumming out your guests? It's a problem that might not have arisen had Disneyland been built in any decade other than the 1950s, when white American machismo (of a clean-cut variety that seems paradoxical to modern eyes) was perhaps the dominant value in American pop culture. Nowhere was this better exemplified than in the Western genre of film and television, which had its absolute heyday in the Fifties. In any other decade, Walt Disney—or at least his advisors—might have deemed the Frontierland concept not nearly marketable enough for mainstream audiences, and chosen a different theme for this largest of the themed lands, or at least diminished the “American history” presence in favor of nature or modern-day America* or something else related.

Might have. It is by no means certain. But it is well worth looking at all the small ways in which the sights to see in Frontierland have been tweaked over the years, as the guest base has grown more diverse and less forgiving of the whitewashed, white-centric Old West narrative. The Indian attack was removed from the backstory of the Burning Cabin and the Indian War Canoes were retooled into the Davy Crockett Explorer Canoes,** leaving only allied tribes among Frontierland's Native population. The Golden Horseshoe's long-running show, featuring mild burlesque elements, came to an end. Gunplay was progressively downplayed. It's safe to say that mainstream America no longer considers Westward Expansion a period of unalloyed heroism on the part of white settlers and the U.S. Cavalry.

And that leaves both Management and Imagineering in a bit of a fix. What do you do when the entire theme of an important land has gone out of fashion? For the time being, the answer seems to be “Put it off for another day.” Tomorrowland is suffering from a lack of solid direction, but Frontierland is suffering from neglect, to the extent that large chunks of its real estate were deemed expendable in order to make way for Star Wars. The closest thing to a new permanent attraction it has received in over twenty years is the out-of-place Pirates' Lair overlay of Tom Sawyer Island. Granted, adding attractions to a land whose atmosphere relies on a sense of wide openness is automatically tricky business, but it's no wonder Frontierland's overall popularity has been declining when it never has anything new to say, when its former messages have become unpalatable but it has nothing meaningful to replace them with.

So what can they do? Well, in some respects the experiments are already being performed.

Unauthorized Fun: Hidden Mickeys

You don't hear as much about Hidden Mickeys as you used to. Hunting down these subtle images of or references to Mickey Mouse placed around Disney theme parks used to be a major pastime of Annual Passholders and other major fans, but the furor seems to have died down. In all probability, the phenomenon was a victim of its own success—it caught on to the extent that several guidebooks were published, taking away much of the joy of discovery. It's hard to get excited about a “secret” that a million people are privy to by virtue of having spent twelve dollars on a book. Not to mention, having access to such resources sped up the process immensely. Many people probably feel there's no point in continuing to look once you've gone through the entire list.

I still find some entertainment value in seeking them out, possibly because I eschew those same guidebooks. For one thing, it's impossible for them to stay up-to-date—a waggish Cast Member can create a new, semi-permanent Hidden Mickey in a matter of minutes, while a minor renovation can obliterate a long-standing one in a day. No book can come out with new editions that fast. For another thing...even to the extent that they are current, I find such books a little untrustworthy—there is too much of a tendency to take fan consensus for granted instead of “vetting” individual Hidden Mickeys for plausibility.

Beyond Blue Sky: Disneyland Alignment Chart

Please bear with me; I've gotten into a weird mood and I'm short on ideas again.

In your online travels, dear reader, you may occasionally come across a peculiar graphic: a three-by-three grid, each square containing a picture of a person or character or something, and each labeled with a two-adjective phrase, the phrases arranged such that each square in a given row or column has one word in common. At least nine times out of ten, the words so mixed and matched will be: Lawful, Chaotic, Good, Evil, and Neutral. The other ten percent of the time, a different pattern will be followed…but Neutral will always be included. Run into enough of these, even if you never see one using characters you recognize and have no idea what is up with this funky Punnett square, and you will likely come to the conclusion that, okay, this is a thing. A meme of some kind. Okay, whatever, the internet is weird.

At the risk of outing myself as an even bigger nerd than you probably already thought I was, I would like to inform you that this is what’s known as an alignment chart, and has its origins in…get ready…

Beyond Blue Sky: Wicked Kingdoms

One oft-repeated wish in the Disney theme park fandom is for some permanent attraction based on the Disney Villains brand. A Villains ride, or a Villains land (often envisioned as an offshoot of Fantasyland)...sometimes even an entire Villains park, with themed areas based around individual members of the brand.

On the whole, the conceit seems to be the result of Disney's own relentless trend toward character branding running smack into the young adult taste for the dark and edgy. Most Disney animation showcases pretty black-and-white morality, and if the good guys come across as unappealingly twee (as they often do, thanks to child-oriented marketing efforts), there's only one place left to go.

To be honest, I don't think a Villains-themed area, ride, or park would really work. Disney Villains is very much like Disney Princess—a marketing brand that involves characters from several different movies but keeps them rigorously separated instead of allowing true crossover interaction. With Disney's theme parks in thrall to its branded IPs, I can't see the Imagineers being allowed to do anything really satisfying with the concept. Something like Princess Fantasy Faire squeaks by because its target audience is fairly undiscriminating about these things. I doubt the fans wishing for a Villains attraction would be content with a collection of meet-and-greet spots.

On the other hand, there's all kinds of fun to be had with layering the Villains on top of what's already there. “The Villains take over” is the plot bunny for a hundred and two Disney fanfics (including part of my own Crowns of the Kingdom as well as my flight of fancy about the ultimate Disneyland-based video game), but few people (myself included) really explore the potential. Disney itself rarely goes farther than the odd Halloween event, wherein the takeover seems limited to a particular live entertainment location and is quickly defeated. I'm thinking it could be fun to examine the possibilities if the Villains really did take over Disneyland and parcel it out amongst themselves.

Actually, let's make that both parks, maybe even the entire Disneyland Resort. There are a lot of Villains, after all—even considering only those from the Disney Animated Canon—and one of their qualifying traits is that they don't play well with others. They need a lot of territory to avoid getting up in each other's business and fracturing the whole coalition.

For this bit of spitballing, I'll be deviating from my usual practice of examining the themed lands in map order: Main Street, Adventureland, etc. An awful lot here hinges on what goes on at the epicenter of Villain activity: Fantasyland.

As a final note before we dive in, Disney's last few movies have surprised audiences (or not, depending upon how shrewd they are as viewers...no comment on my end) with the identity of the real Villain. So SPOILER WARNINGS apply to the rest of this post!

Armchair Imagineering: Color Theory

If you've scrutinized a Disneyland map lately (and if you haven't, why not?), you've probably noticed that the themed lands are color-coded. Each land is assigned a different hue that is applied not only to the numbered circles that mark attraction locations, but the ground in the map image. Color-coding is one of those things that make me unreasonably happy, especially when it works out as neatly as this. I could not improve upon the Disneyland color map if I tried. Each assignment is eminently logical given the themes and motifs of the different areas, and none is repeated.

Here, this map is pretty current:

Main Street, USA is red, a color that brings to mind not only the American flag, but humble bricks, shiny fire engines, and the “red carpet treatment” that Disneyland promises to arriving guests.

Adventureland is green, for the lush jungle foliage.

New Orleans Square is purple, with all its complex associations. Purple is the color of luxury, of exoticism, of supernatural spookiness. It's also one of the principal colors of Mardi Gras.

Critter Country, an earthy sort of land, is an earthy brown—the color of tree bark and forest soil in addition to the fur of most critters.

Frontierland is the orange of raw copper, Southwestern sandstone, and those sunsets cowboys were always riding off into.

Fantasyland is pink, not just because it is arguably the girliest land (with all those Princesses and fairies), but because pink is a gentle, whimsical color. Sleeping Beauty Castle has been painted pink since well before the current onslaught of franchise branding.

Mickey's Tootown, on the other hand, is raucous, blaring yellow—the color of Mickey Mouse's shoes and taxicabs alike.

And finally, Tomorrowland is blue, a crisp, airy color that ranges from the pale tint of the sky through oceanic medium tones to the deepest navy of the outer atmosphere. It pairs well with utopian white and technological chrome.

It's all so spot on and tidy. I am giddy with delight. And it wouldn't work nearly as well without this exact roster of lands. Which leads me to the actual Armchair Imagineering portion of this post: So what about the ninth land? The one currently under construction and expected to open a couple years down the line?

That's right, readers...hold onto your jaws...I am about to speculate as to how to properly integrate the upcoming Star Wars area with the rest of the park...at least as far as the map design is concerned. Everyone loves to Armchair-Imagineer big-budget rides and elaborate shows, but somebody has to stand back here and look after the less glamorous aspects of updates to the park. You're welcome.