Armchair Imagineering: Autopian Visions of the Future

The Autopia is currently undergoing an extensive refurbishment, prompted by the end of Chevron's sponsorship and the beginning of Honda's. The known changes are primarily superficial—fresh coats of paint to bring the cars and queue structures away from the ridiculous color schemes engendered by the 1998 remodel of Tomorrowland and get them more in line with Honda's own contemporary aesthetic. We're seeing a lot of blue and white:

Nice, isn't it? More than nice, it's classic Tomorrowland coloring: a return to form in at least that superficial sense. And naturally, with a change in sponsors and paint jobs comes the inevitable question: Is anything else about this Opening Day ride changing?

Armchair Imagineering: Color Theory

If you've scrutinized a Disneyland map lately (and if you haven't, why not?), you've probably noticed that the themed lands are color-coded. Each land is assigned a different hue that is applied not only to the numbered circles that mark attraction locations, but the ground in the map image. Color-coding is one of those things that make me unreasonably happy, especially when it works out as neatly as this. I could not improve upon the Disneyland color map if I tried. Each assignment is eminently logical given the themes and motifs of the different areas, and none is repeated.

Here, this map is pretty current:

Main Street, USA is red, a color that brings to mind not only the American flag, but humble bricks, shiny fire engines, and the “red carpet treatment” that Disneyland promises to arriving guests.

Adventureland is green, for the lush jungle foliage.

New Orleans Square is purple, with all its complex associations. Purple is the color of luxury, of exoticism, of supernatural spookiness. It's also one of the principal colors of Mardi Gras.

Critter Country, an earthy sort of land, is an earthy brown—the color of tree bark and forest soil in addition to the fur of most critters.

Frontierland is the orange of raw copper, Southwestern sandstone, and those sunsets cowboys were always riding off into.

Fantasyland is pink, not just because it is arguably the girliest land (with all those Princesses and fairies), but because pink is a gentle, whimsical color. Sleeping Beauty Castle has been painted pink since well before the current onslaught of franchise branding.

Mickey's Tootown, on the other hand, is raucous, blaring yellow—the color of Mickey Mouse's shoes and taxicabs alike.

And finally, Tomorrowland is blue, a crisp, airy color that ranges from the pale tint of the sky through oceanic medium tones to the deepest navy of the outer atmosphere. It pairs well with utopian white and technological chrome.

It's all so spot on and tidy. I am giddy with delight. And it wouldn't work nearly as well without this exact roster of lands. Which leads me to the actual Armchair Imagineering portion of this post: So what about the ninth land? The one currently under construction and expected to open a couple years down the line?

That's right, readers...hold onto your jaws...I am about to speculate as to how to properly integrate the upcoming Star Wars area with the rest of the park...at least as far as the map design is concerned. Everyone loves to Armchair-Imagineer big-budget rides and elaborate shows, but somebody has to stand back here and look after the less glamorous aspects of updates to the park. You're welcome.

Beyond Blue Sky – Four Disneyland Headcanons

Disneyland tells a lot of stories...a lot of extremely incomplete stories. Even the longest, most intricately designed ride hasn't enough time and space to give us all the details. We're left with a sharply abridged narrative, or perhaps even just a series of vignettes with no explicit “plot” to connect them.

It's like I keep saying: this park is awesome.

A story told piecemeal is practically an engraved invitation to fill in the gaps with your own interpretations, speculations, and headcanons.* These bits of fanfiction might be as simple as names assigned to animatronic characters who don't have official ones, or as elaborate as a “how they met” story for all 17 Country Bears. The vast majority will probably fall somewhere in the middle.

Here are four of mine.

After-Action Report: Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin

Since bringing it up in the bunny-themed post of a couple weeks ago, I've been thinking I should devote a post to Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin. This is one of the most overlooked rides in Disneyland—not just by the general public, who tend to miss it due to its back corner location and lack of timelessly beloved central characters,* but by Disney theme park bloggers, who ought to know better. This is surprising, because it's one of the best dark rides in the park, weaving together flexible source material, an innovative ride concept, nifty effects, and an absolute commitment on the part of Imagineering to make the experience as seamless as possible within the limitations of the format and the mid-Nineties technology they had to work with.

But wait! There's more! And this is something that only occurred to me fairly recently—Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin is the first narrative Disney attraction I can think of that deliberately takes place in the themed land where it is physically located. I'll come back to this later.

Imagineering Theory: Zootopia and Theme Flexibility

I cannot say enough good things about Disney's latest animated feature, Zootopia, now showing in a theater near you! But this is not a film blog. This is a theme park blog; hence my observations will mostly be limited to discussing the potential and actual impact of this completely excellent movie on the Disneyland Resort.

So far, Zootopia has been brought to the parks in the laziest and most predictable way possible: by situating fuzzies of the two main characters in Hollywood Land for photos and autographs. The motivation? To sell park-hopper tickets. The justification? Well, it's a movie, isn't it?

Please.

Apart from a blink-and-you-miss-it* joke about the pronunciation of “Tujunga,” there is nothing whatsoever tying Zootopia to California. But neither does it fit comfortably into any of the themed lands of Disneyland Park...or does it? This post is going to be a thought experiment on the flexibility of area themes and the need for creative solutions to potential mismatches. “Theme dilution” is a common pet peeve among Disney theme park fans, but the area themes have never been 100% pure, and as Disney's cinematic palette expands, it's only going to be more challenging for the Imagineers to successfully integrate movie-based attractions** with the limited selection of themed areas available.

To be clear, this entire post is completely speculative. I do not expect a permanent attraction based on Zootopia to be built in any park. (Actually, the film's setting would make for a fantastic basis for a theme park all on its own, but that's another topic.) The point of the exercise is that we have a wonderful movie, tearing up box-office records, taking place in a fantastic world that would be a blast to visit...and there's no obvious place to put it in Disney's parks.

So what about the non-obvious places?

Unauthorized Fun – Easter Bunny Hunt Tour

I sure do love Disneyland...but I definitely don't always love the way Management tries to gouge the guests. I'm not talking about above-standard prices for food or prominently placed souvenir shops. That's par for the course for any theme park, and at least at Disneyland, the food is decent and the souvenirs don't fall apart during the drive home.

I'm talking about the way they charge you upwards of a hundred bucks a head just to walk through the front gate...and then spend the day trying to upsell you all these little “magical” add-ons. Character Dining. VIP viewing for parades and shows. Disney Vacation Club memberships, for Pete's sake. And the advertising all heavily insinuates that if you don't buy these things, if you just go to freaking Disneyland and ride some freaking rides and meet some freaking characters after waiting in line like normal humans, then you and/or your kids are missing out and your visit isn't truly magical and I'd better stop before I vomit. Seriously, can you believe these people?

I've got news for them...and for any potential guests who might be suckered in by the marketing copy: It is Disneyland. It's magical just as it is, without expensive add-ons. Is it fun to have Goofy come pal around with you during dinner? Sure. But it's not necessary in order to have a top-notch visit to the park.

I think there are two groups of people who fall for the...let's call it the Extended Warranty model of Disneyland visiting. There are those who are vacationing from out of state, who have never been before (or not for many years) and may never get to visit again, and who not only want to absolutely maximize their trip, but have little to no idea what do to without help, and turn to the readiest source of help available: Disneyland's own website.

I'm not really talking to them. (They're probably not going to read this blog anyway.) This is for the second group. These are the people who visit Disneyland often and know damn well what they're doing...but maybe visit so often that a normal, ride-some-rides-and-meet-some-characters kind of day doesn't always quite do it. So they maybe consider buying some extra goodies in order to jazz things up. If that's really what you want to do and you will accept no substitutes...I guess I can't help you. But if you're conflicted—if you need ideas for ways to spice up your otherwise routine visits to the park without further enriching those money-grubbing jerks—then I am pleased to introduce Unauthorized Fun, a post category for doing just that. In posts with this label, you'll find ideas for Disneyland-based games, activities, and “quests” that won't cost you a dime extra...or if they do, it won't be many dimes, and they won't be funneled directly into Bob Iger's pockets.

And now, without further ado...

Beyond Blue Sky: The Building Blocks of Magic

I never expected to do another post about toys this soon, but here we are.

So this is happening:

Not gonna lie, I'm pretty excited for these. If there's one hobby I enjoy almost as much as Disneyland (and spend comparably on over the course of a year), it's LEGO.

Disney and LEGO have been partnered for several years now, with quite a few licensed sets based on properties like Toy Story, Cars, Pirates of the Caribbean (the movies, unfortunately, not the ride), and now an ongoing Disney Princess line. But this is the first time the partnership has been put to a purpose other than promoting a current Disney film or franchise. It makes me excited for potential new directions the team-up might take.

Because really, are a few Disney Theme Park LEGO sets too much to ask?